Loneliness

I wrote this in 2002:

I hate loneliness

Because I have it everyday.

A game is in your face,

But nobody wants to play.

I've never been to a dance

Because no one even likes me.

They say love is in the air,

But it doesn't ever strike me.

I don't have many friends,

And the girls won't even talk.

One tried to ruin me,

By saying I tried to stalk.

I've never had a girlfriend.

I'm not supposed to sweat it.

I've never really lightened up,

So now I regret.

I don't have a best friend.

Everyone treats me the same.

People are being so mean to me

That I'm wanting to change my name.

I've known people since elementary.

They change schools and then don't know me.

I was in your 5th grade class,

Want proof, say "show me."

I have a problem with nobody.

They have a problem with me.

I'm worthless to whomever,

Like a raindrop on a flea.

I can't help my size.

I was born to be overweight.

4 letter words are bad,

So why have a lot of hate?

I have two female friends

Who are the nicest people I know.

I don't know if they're moving,

But I'll hate whenever they go.

I have my personal problems,

But there's nothing like this.

My life's a cheese with holes in it,

The kind that's called Swiss.

I don't take stuff for granted,

But you do and it's not right.

Your friend has a nice pair of shoes,

So him you want to fight.

My friends have neglected me

Though I see them everyday.

I'm lonely and you don't care,

So I have no more to say.

I think your poem is really good. Is your life really that way? Well, mine is. Well, mostly. I even am overweight, and have never had a girlfriend, and have never been to a dance There is a girl I like a lot, but haven't been able to talk to. Besides, I believe she thinks I am stalking her, so she avoids me (I hope it's all in my head). I also have two female friends. They are the only people in this school I can call friends. The problem is that I'm the one moving. I think that not even they will remember me and wonder where I have gone when next year arrives. But sometimes, moving is not enough. I would have to change who I am, which is easier said than done. I just give up. I know there will be new chances for everything, but I know I will blow them just like I did here. I just can't help it. I don't want to start over. I just wish I had done things the right way since the beginning. I have nothing to look forward to, and no one around me (including me too) is getting any younger. I feel so old, but for some people I obviously don't look like it. So, remember you are not alone in this suffering.

It's pretty good, but I suggest using more imagery and metaphores.