What are YOUR views on this?

hey all, just a question of opinion.

not long ago my friend made the decision to have an abortion without consulting the father. unforunatley for me i developed a friendship with both parties meaning i had each sides views to take into hand.

i know now that i am no help to him to tell him now as this will guilt rid him of the oppotunity and the absense as he is incapable of doing anything to change this action.

what my question is, is that who has the right to know when a woman is pregnant and considering an abortion? both parties or optional to the female? how do people feel about this and what are there opinions.

i was unable to change the path of him knowing as i was told the day if this action being made. i feel that everyone has a right to their own knowledge but whats your opinion?

thanks and sorry if its a little confusing

kel

I'll probably get flamed for this but I feel the father has a right to know. Ultimately it would be best if the decision could be made jointly between the father and the mother. I don't think it is right for the father to be completely left out. After all, he would be held responsible if the child were born.

A friend of mine did not find out for years that one of his old girlfriends had an abortion. It still bothers him years later and he told me he feels responsible for the death of a child (his words, not mine).

the same thing happened to someone I knew... he found out his ex had an abortion behind his back, and he still feels heavily responsible for it. I saw the hurt in his eyes after he told me the story, and I have to side with avman and say that the father has a right to know.

Hello there,

I understand your friend had an abortion without telling the father of the child before doing so(also your friend).

My view on this is simple: if a father is to be held accountable for a child when the child is born, he then has the same right to know of the pregnancy and has the right to express any thoughts he has on how to go about it. However, it is my view that in the end, the decision is the woman's as it is her body. Nonetheless, the father has a right to know and a right to express his views. To deny that is hypocritical to me if the father would be expected to support the child in life. I would hope that the woman would take into account the father's views on whether to abort the baby or not as it is a delicate situation and both should be able to reach a compromise.

I hope this helped!

I think the father definitely should be notified before anything is decided. I think the two people should think long and hard about what raising a child involves and what involvement on both parties sides would be if that child is brought into the world. Ultimately the father can't tell the woman "what to do" but at least she should find out his viewpoint to take it into consideration. It IS the woman's body but the child is part of the father too. However the man doesn't have to go through the physical changes and complications that pregnancy brings on (it's not fun!)......

Princess777

you know- the problem with this is that if you dont consider the male just as important as the female then you are saying that procreation is the decision of the woman and not of the man. then- you imply by implacation that the male is just a tool in order to procreate. this type of sexism has switched gender acceptance over the years but it still remains true that what is done by will with the concent of anothers body is done with intent and thereforeeee all derteminates of that choice are to be known equally by both parties. if not then you suggest i as a person whod engage in a sex act, has limited responsiblities that do not surpass the satisfaction of my partner under the covers. you can do whatr you wish with your body- but i have a right to know when my lifeforce has inhibited such creation. denying me this is inhumane.

joe

JoeII,

Don't take this the wrong way but after and only after you have another being growing inside of you and there's nothing you can do about all the changes it causes, come back and tell us what you think. The father IS important, but just like a woman can't tell a man what to do with his body, a man can't make a woman have a baby if she doesn't want to. No one has control over someone else's body.

Princess777

I dont think it has anything to do with the guy,the decision to have an abortion that is.There are a lot of idealist in the world and not enough realist.

Obviously if there was no questions or issues to be raised regarding the state of the relationship in the moments and time preceding,during and after the conception then this question would be a non-question.

Not every one is involved in a fairy tale relationship where the viability of having a child and bringing a soul into the world is classed as a blessing.

Not every one is involved in a relationship when they get pregnant so what lenghts are they expected to go through to inform the sperm carrier.

People should take responsibility for themselves and not be forced into taking responsibility for others.

Sort your own mess out because no-one is going to be doing it for you i would like to end with a little story...........................................................

Some people go into jail on their own for crimes they have commited on their own as in of their own prompting and they do their bird and they are fine.(e.g a fraudster)

Some go into Jail with a co-dee and during the term they stop talking, have arguments and are forever fighting Or it is the other way round where they are tight and you can see why they ended up doing a bird together.(e.g two bag snathers)

And there is the third set of prisoners doing someone else's bird and those are the sad ones.Doing the time while someone else gets away with it. (e.g a drug importer)

What all these ppl have in common is the need to avoid crime just like we all need to utulise contraception with ppl we would not like to share genes with but as with everything else in life there is a gradient to these things.It makes more sense to have an abortion if that is what you have decided to do than to try and make do in a futile or non-existent or already strained relationship thinking a baby couldn't possibly make things any worse than they are already! Or even worse still have a baby for some one you are not involved in a relationship with thus doing his sentence for him and making way for your eternal resentment to ever surface.

Whatever you do in life make sure you can answer to yourself because it is you that will pay the penance.Do the right thing for you.Dont take on any baggage by feeling responsibility for someone that doesn't feel it for you. Or worse still go through life paying the price for not only your mistake but someone else's.