Looking to try something new after breakup, any recommendations?

Just got out of a serious relationship with my girlfriend. Things currently look grim because she was also my best friend and person to turn to in hard times. Now without her, a big part of my motivation is also gone but I know I need to keep myself busy and active. I am living in my home city for the first time since high school after finishing university and don't really know alot of people.

What I'm really looking for is a chance to meet people and possibly make some friends, which I feel is all I want right now. I'm looking for recommendations for things that others undertook that really helped them grow as an individual and heal after a breakup.

I know everyone is different, but i'm curious to know what others have done and want to see if anything appeals to me.

Any input is much appreciated!

Sorry to hear this man. I know how tough this can be, I came out of a relationship in February, and am still in the process of moving on.

But yeah, all I can say is what I've ended up doing (which might not work for everyone). I ended up writing a blog to articulate my feelings, and then after a couple of months of grieving and getting nowhere, I ended up rediscovering my drive and passion for writing aggressive music, and that resulted in me writing some of the best songs I've ever written through my pain. I ended up playing some covers at an open mic night early on just to get a small taste of performing live music (which I hadn't done for a few years), which was a great way to try new things.

Seeing as you're looking to meet new people, what interests you? Depending on where you live, you could always try meetup.com and see if there's any groups in your area for activities you're interested in or something you might enjoy. I ended up discovering a D&D group through there a couple of years ago, and that's turned into a regular hobby and I've gained a few friends through that.

Best of luck, I know how lonely it can get, I hope things get better for you soon.

Get some new and up to date social media including LinkedIn. Then upload your contact list and/or search for friends, coworkers, fellow uni students, old high school pals, etc. Start posting about your life (not the breakup) and start friending, following on their social media then commenting/liking, etc.

Break the ice and get on the radar through a social media presence. At this same time do not forget to reset your privacy settings and block and delete your ex.

Join some professional and alumni associations on LinkedIn. Also locally, volunteer, take some courses, classes even stuff like cooking, dancing, a language, whatever. Look for local events to attend and for local clubs or sports or groups to join. Follow your interests and you'll find like minded people.

I am living in my home city for the first time since high school after finishing university and don't really know alot of people.

Well, now that you're out of school, the best place to meet people is at work. You might want to try to talk to as many people as possible. Try to ask a question rather than having an opening line. People usually don't mind asking a question. You probably want to join a gym. You can get to know people in the community. Have a regular hangout place. It doesn't have to be a bar, but maybe a cafe or a bookstore where people can see you. The more people see you, the greater the chance they might want to talk to you. Take advantage of any free events happening in your area. Don't be afraid to ask out people working the shops, especially if they see you stopping in regularly. Hit the dating apps, but keep the area down to just a few miles of where you live. You don't want to try to date someone 2 hours away. Look around for any clubs or activities you like to do.

To be honest, almost everyone I wound up dating I met at school or work, so those are your best shots at finding someone. And meeting people and dating again is the best way to heal.

Thanks for your response! I'm glad that you have found a positive outlet for your pain and are the path to recovery. I'll try meetup.com! Alot of things interest me and I'm also one to try new things that I would not normally consider given the right circumstances. I used to play guitar when I was younger and it's been collecting dust for years, so I think i'll pick that up on my own. Since you bring up D&D, how is that? I always thought it looked fun and always wanted to try it but never did. It's something I might actually consider.

Thanks again for your input!

Unfortunately, i'm not working fulltime at the moment, im working this coming year on applying for further education so it's a bit of a transition time for me. The people at my current work are also considerably older than me and while they're all fine people, I was hoping to meet people closer to my age. (Early-Mid Twenties). Thanks for the rest of your advice, ill try and just get out of the house more, and visit places I enjoy more frequently :)

I'll look into your suggestions, thanks for the advice!

Thanks for your response! I'm glad that you have found a positive outlet for your pain and are the path to recovery. I'll try meetup.com! Alot of things interest me and I'm also one to try new things that I would not normally consider given the right circumstances. I used to play guitar when I was younger and it's been collecting dust for years, so I think i'll pick that up on my own. Since you bring up D&D, how is that? I always thought it looked fun and always wanted to try it but never did. It's something I might actually consider.

 

Thanks again for your input!

If you want to try D&D, then go for it. Depending on where you live, there's probably a D&D group local to you that you can attend to try it out. The game itself is a lot of fun, you get to create a character and experience a story as that character with the actions you make affecting the story (and you can literally do whatever you want, so the only limit is your own imagination). I feel this video will best encapsulates how enjoyable D&D is:

meetup.com is a really good way to go for finding people and groups to do things with that interest you. Another way is co-ed sports. Also, whatever interests you, group type lessons are great in that it is often a cheaper way to go to learn something new and also way more social and fun. A good way to meet like minded people and make friends. This can really be anything from sports to painting classes, cooking, etc. Maybe make a list of stuff that interests you and then google groups/classes/events in your area for that. Keep an open mind about it too. If you go and find there are older folks there, they often can introduce you to other younger people. Focus on connections lead to other connections.

I know you said you're looking for friends because the end of your relationship meant the loss of your best friend, but when I went through a terrible breakup, the thing that made me happier was finding things that I really enjoyed doing alone. I took up singing in my bedroom and trying to get great at it, I wanted to learn ukulele so I practiced alone in an open field, I did some rock climbing which is really fun even when you're by yourself, and I even tried my hand at writing a novel. If you can be happy all on your own then anyone else who comes along is just gravy

Salsa! Dancing is great fun, good for meeting people, fulfills some of the need for physical contact and as a guy you have to become comfortable taking a strong lead which is a lesson I think a lot of guys could do with learning.