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About Manonajourney

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  1. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted on here. If you go through my post history you will see all the events that transpired and led up to this moment. I’ve tried to restrain myself from coming back after my last post as I realized I kept going in circles and was starting to get a bit annoying and pathetic. Maybe it’s the covid loneliness talking, but after so long I felt I wanted to reach out again for advice. Sorry if this post drags on, I posted a tdlr at the end. To summarize, my ex and I broke up 2 and a half years ago. I was her first relationship. We were friends f
  2. I got out of a serious relationship with my ex last year. It didn't end too well as she left to be with someone else. After over a year, I've made my peace with what happened for the most part and no longer hold any ill will towards her. She also recently broke up with said boyfriend. Because she was very important to me at one point I decided to try and reach out to her and bury the hatchet. (Unnecessary probably I know, but it felt like the right thing to do). I then waited an appropriate amount of time so it didn't look like I was just messaging her because she was single again. She res
  3. Wanted to thank everyone for taking the time and effort to provide me with advice about my predicament. As I mentioned, I will not be contacting my ex and trying to "bury the hatchet". As some suggested, I don't believe I have that much of an issue with what others think of me. The only reason I'd given so much thought to my ex and still care about her opinion is because I sometimes have difficulty separating the fond memories of her with her actions in the end. I have dated a few people and she was by far the kindest, most considerate, and one I got on with well the most. I never would ha
  4. Thank you for taking the time to write out this response. It was very well said and it clearly shows that you've acquired a lot of wisdom over the years through your past relationships. I will not take the backwards steps and reach out to this ex. I will continue working on learning to find the forgiveness I seek inside of me. And if i'm ever meant to cross paths with her one day in the future in any capacity, I will be be ready.
  5. Being honest with myself, you're probably right. I'm not completely over her. And that is why i'm even toying with this idea in the first place. But you and the others have made it clear to stay strong and to keep moving on.
  6. Thanks for your response. You worded it really well. I believe that you're absolutely right. There's more to be lost by reopening up the wound and I need to start forming new healthy relationships with others instead of trying to get "closure" or mend broken ones.
  7. Thanks for your reply. At this point, I don't necessarily have any questions for her. I believe I have a good understanding of why she did what she did and know that her actions do not diminish my worth as a person. I believe I was a good boyfriend and did what I could to make our relationship work. And even if I didn't understand her, I know that the only person I can hope to understand or change is myself. More so, my intention of wanting to do this is hoping that we can forgive one another and part ways for good on respectful terms. Though our relationship is over, it bothers me that so
  8. Hello, It's been a while since I last posted. To summarize quickly all of my posts from a while ago, my ex broke up up with me 9 months ago so that she could pursue one of her coworkers. To my knowledge, they are still together as of today. At the time it really hit me hard because in my eyes at least, I thought we had a very good relationship and she seemingly left for no reason except because she wanted to be with someone else. We have been no contact ever since and I blocked her on all social media. While it was difficult in the beginning, I have since made a lot of progress in heali
  9. Youre right. I was thinking she was doing it for mostly that reason too. And I understand that, I just didn't think my ex was that kind of person. But I guess these tendencies were always there I just didnt want to see them at the time. Guess I just have to ignore it and hope like others have said, that my worthwhile friends won't pay too much mind to her stories.
  10. Thanks for your reply BlueCastle. You've replied on my threads before and always offer some good insight. When you put it that way, it really just put things into perspective. It really doesn't matter what she's thinking or doing and I only can really know, understand, and forgive myself. I still occasionally have these anylytical juntures but they're becoming far more few in between these days. I'll continue doing me and finding power in myself and Ill hopefully reach the point of indifference that you have reached soon enough. Thanks again!
  11. So it's been a while since I posted about my ex, and I've tried to stop talking about it and move on but I keep hearing things here and there and I felt like I needed some insight into the matter. Essentially, my ex and I had a good relationship. Not perfect by any means, but I felt we shared something special. Everything was fine until she started developing feelings for a coworker over the summer. After alot of lying to herself and me, breaking up with me twice after begging me to take her back once, and constant manipulation on her end, she left me for good and got with him almost immed
  12. Hey thanks for the response! Yea it seems like im in the friend zone again, and that's okay. I'll just keep doing me and keep myself busy until something else naturally comes along. Whether its with Rachel or someone else. And in the meantime, I'll just be thankful for Rachel's friendship. I still appreciate her company and support. That being said, I will back off a bit so I don't get in too deep with my feelings again.
  13. Thanks for the response! Yea, seems like everyone is saying that her feelings haven't changed and that's okay. It wasn't a big crush like the first time around, and I still appreciate her company and support. I''ll stick with what I have with Rachel.
  14. whoaa there calm down lol. She is my friend and I do care about her well being. I think you don't really understand the dynamic we share. We're very comfortable and open with eachother about everything. Neither of us goes into something wanting a relaitonship in mind. She doesnt like to date much and I'm also still getting over my breakup and it wouldn't be fair to get into a full relationship with her now even if she wanted it. If anything were to happen between us, I'm not saying I just want a casual thing, just that it would probably start out like that. I'm open to something more down the
  15. If she was attracted to me as well I don't think she would be insulted if I suggested something casual as she's not usually the relationship type, but I'm being told that she probably doesn't see me like that anyways so I'm most likely gonna leave it unless she makes a move first.
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