Anxiety, depression, losing interest in my 18 year relationship

Hi! I am seeking some advice, insight or other people who are going through the same.

Last weekend I was overcome with a feeling that I was just not into my relationship anymore and since then, I’ve become depressed and filled with anxiety so badly that I can’t eat or sleep right. Went and talked to my doctor and got some feel right meds but they will take a while to kick in.

This is something that I am desperately battling with right now as I do not want this to happen. We have 3 kids. I was fine exactly a week ago, I don’t know what happened...help!

Hi! I am here seeking advice and help, insight on what could possibly be going on with me. I’m in a very dark place right now as I want to get back to normal and don’t want to break up my family.

Last weekend, I was struck with this feeling that I wasn’t into my partner of over 18 years anymore and it has completely overtaken my life. I can’t focus, eat, sleep right or think clearly. I went to the doctor today to discuss this and got a prescription for some feel right meds but they will take a while to kick in.

I am desperately trying to escape this feeling because I don’t want this to happen. I’ve told him that I’ve become depressed and asked that he bare with me while I work thru it but I didn’t tell him anything beyond that. I don’t want him to become upset or think anything while I’m trying to figure this out myself. I need him to be strong for our kids.

We have had some pretty stressful things occurr over the past few months and I don’t know if it’s all hitting me at once and I’m anchoring all the stress to him or what’s going on. Can someone please offer some help and insight? I’m really struggling with this.

Hi! I am here seeking advice and help, insight on what could possibly be going on with me. I’m in a very dark place right now as I want to get back to normal and don’t want to break up my family.

 

Last weekend, I was struck with this feeling that I wasn’t into my partner of over 18 years anymore and it has completely overtaken my life. I can’t focus, eat, sleep right or think clearly. I went to the doctor today to discuss this and got a prescription for some feel right meds but they will take a while to kick in.

 

I am desperately trying to escape this feeling because I don’t want this to happen. I’ve told him that I’ve become depressed and asked that he bare with me while I work thru it but I didn’t tell him anything beyond that. I don’t want him to become upset or think anything while I’m trying to figure this out myself. I need him to be strong for our kids.

 

We have had some pretty stressful things occurr over the past few months and I don’t know if it’s all hitting me at once and I’m anchoring all the stress to him or what’s going on. Can someone please offer some help and insight? I’m really struggling with this.

2nd if this is true there is a thing called rational depression..sometimes there are damn good reasons to feel this way...taking a bunch of drugs is the opposite of the correct coarse of action .

I don’t know why or what happened, the feeling just over took last weekend, it has left my completely devastated, confused. The reason I talked to the doctor to begin with is because I had surgery a little over 7 weeks ago and I thought maybe I was having withdrawals from the pain meds I was on. So since I am having trouble eating, sleeping and anxiety yah I got put on meds. I do have a day to day life I have to carry on with that includes kids so I need to be able to do that. And I don’t want to make any irrational decisions about this while I’m depressed sand filled with so much anxiety over it.

We have been under stress about trying to find a new place to live, we thought we could take our time now we feel rushed. We have my sister staying with us and she has overstayed her welcome so we are disagreeing about that. One if his daughters from a previous relationship moved in with us with her 10 month old son, my niece was in a major car accident a couple weeks ago. I had surgery on my knee in February and pretty much have been off of work since. He had his appendix removed in January and he had a heart attack(38 years old) last September.

So I’m trying my hardest not to just drop him after over 18 years and 3 kids together over a feeling I got a week ago and may be just related t

I don’t know why or what happened, the feeling just over took last weekend, it has left my completely devastated, confused. The reason I talked to the doctor to begin with is because I had surgery a little over 7 weeks ago and I thought maybe I was having withdrawals from the pain meds I was on. So since I am having trouble eating, sleeping and anxiety yah I got put on meds. I do have a day to day life I have to carry on with that includes kids so I need to be able to do that. And I don’t want to make any irrational decisions about this while I’m depressed sand filled with so much anxiety over it.

 

We have been under stress about trying to find a new place to live, we thought we could take our time now we feel rushed. We have my sister staying with us and she has overstayed her welcome so we are disagreeing about that. One if his daughters from a previous relationship moved in with us with her 10 month old son, my niece was in a major car accident a couple weeks ago. I had surgery on my knee in February and pretty much have been off of work since. He had his appendix removed in January and he had a heart attack(38 years old) last September.

 

So I’m trying my hardest not to just drop him after over 18 years and 3 kids together over a feeling I got a week ago and may be just related t

I can tell you this from my experience. Once upon a time I was in a situation much like yours.

I didn't fully understand why I wanted out. I didn't even most likely have the capacity to fully understand the issues at the time. I acted anyway and made a grand mess of things. And that's fine history is perfection.

But the result of myself not taking to time to fully understand my situation, what was wrong, what could and could not be fixed, how a successful realationship should have looked, was that I didn't learn anything setting me up to fail again.

Intent...keep focused on finding those answers...they will come.

Looks like you folks have done a fine job of adding stress to your life...at this point I would begin to seek out those stressors in your life and remove them with extreme predgidice. You can't help anyone if u fall to pieces.

Breath, everything will work out exactly as it's supposed to with your cooperation.

Take care of yourself, eat healthy and exercise. You can't help anyone if u fall to pieces.

My heart goes out to you. Whenever I go into a serious emotional funk, I decide against operating on emotion alone. You were smart to consult your doctor, but unless he or she is a psychiatric specialist, (s)he's not the best person to monitor you on psychotropic drugs. I'd phone his or her office for a referral to a therapist who can partner with her or him to help you through this time.

Serious stress on top of medication withdrawal on top of recovery from surgery make up the opposite of 'normal' conditions. So give yourself and your family a pass on how well you or they are handling things right now. Talk yourself away from ultra-sensitivity about their mistakes as you work with a therapist to navigate the best course for your living situation and immediate dealings with partner and other family members.

You're in a crisis time, so allow for crisis emotions. Allow for some regular bouts of boo-hoos with a tissue box, but instead of using that time to ruminate yourself into a deeper hole to climb out of, change the most critical inner voice you run in your head into one of an inspiring coach. Admire yourself for the skills of resilience you are adopting, and make it a private goal to surprise everyone, including yourself with your ability to navigate your difficulties.

When you reach the other side of your most imposing crises and can catch your breath, inform your therapist that you want to work through your negativity toward your partner. You may find it short lived, or you may find it to be a signal that couples' counselling or other measures are in order.

You can't really know that stuff now. It's clearly not a time to decide anything beyond your most immediate needs right now, so focus on giving yourself small rewards and encouragement for every step you take in the right direction.

Head high, and write more if it helps.

Thank you both for replying to this! Yesterday was the hardest of all, I didn’t sleep at all on Friday night. I was up with anxiety so bad that I was throwing up. My partner kept waking up and telling me to lay down and relax, I told him I was sick(that’s how it felt at the time) and I wanted to go to the hospital. I didn’t end up doing that.

I ended up leaving my house at 6:30 am to pick up my mother and we went to a local psychiatrist center to get some emergency help, that is how far down the hole I felt like I couldn’t escape my thoughts, and going without eating, sleeping and the constant anxiety that was sky high, there was no way I could make it with these feelings and thoughts. I never talked to an actual psychiatrist there, just the intake nurse who was willing to sign me in for inpatient help.

I decided not to take the inpatient treatment option and I left there feeling hopeless, exhausted and anxiety filled. I tried to go back to my mothers house and sleep but I couldn’t so I went home. So I spent the next couple hours filled with my depression thoughts and anxiety. I took my Prozac at the scheduled time and opened a beer and called my dad.

After an hour long conversation with my dad and having a beer, I had this overwhelming sense of calmness so I made dinner and ate something for the first time in days. I drove back over to my moms( I was not intoxicated or even buzzed) and slept for 2 hours. When I got home, I didn’t feel completely at ease but not nearly as anxious as I was so I got into pajamas, watched some baseball, played on my tablet for a bit and finally fell asleep. It wasn’t a solid sleep, I woke up a few times but managed to fall back asleep.

When I woke up this morning, I had very little anxiety. I got up and folded some laundry, took a shower, felt somewhat normal towards my boyfriend, like I don’t have to run away and maybe whatever happened to me this past week has nothing at all to do with him.

I know I’m not 100% back to normal, I still have a little anxiety on and off but today, so far, has been the best day I’ve had while dealing with all this. I’m going to go out to eat with my mom and sister and get some food in me now Incase the darkness overtakes me again later.

I never talked to an actual psychiatrist there, just the intake nurse who was willing to sign me in for inpatient help.

 

I decided not to take the inpatient treatment option and I left there feeling hopeless, exhausted and anxiety filled.

Treatment 'option' means that there are other options. What are those? Will they assign you to an outpatient therapist?

I’m going to see who I can find today to talk to, I have moments which keep getting longer and longer, where I feel my happiness is restored then it fades away. I’ve had bouts of mild depression and anxiety before but never nothing like this, not knowing quite what’s causing it. It’s hard to think clearly when I fall back into it and everything goes back to being joyless, my memories, music, anything that crosses my head while I’m like this seems like it was an unhappy thing and anything I think of in the future. Seems like I’ll never be happy again when I slip back down.

I’m going to see who I can find today to talk to, I have moments which keep getting longer and longer, where I feel my happiness is restored then it fades away. I’ve had bouts of mild depression and anxiety before but never nothing like this, not knowing quite what’s causing it. It’s hard to think clearly when I fall back into it and everything goes back to being joyless, my memories, music, anything that crosses my head while I’m like this seems like it was an unhappy thing and anything I think of in the future. Seems like I’ll never be happy again when I slip back down.

Try phoning the doctor who prescribed your meds for a referral to a therapist, because it will be someone he knows well enough to partner with on monitoring your meds. Then the therapist can assess you and ask you the right questions to report to the doc.

I am seeing a counselor tomorrow who I will see once or twice before the psychiatrist, who then can get me on different meds, if that’s what I need.

I don’t know why or what happened, the feeling just over took last weekend, it has left my completely devastated, confused. The reason I talked to the doctor to begin with is because I had surgery a little over 7 weeks ago and I thought maybe I was having withdrawals from the pain meds I was on. So since I am having trouble eating, sleeping and anxiety yah I got put on meds. I do have a day to day life I have to carry on with that includes kids so I need to be able to do that. And I don’t want to make any irrational decisions about this while I’m depressed sand filled with so much anxiety over it.

 

We have been under stress about trying to find a new place to live, we thought we could take our time now we feel rushed. We have my sister staying with us and she has overstayed her welcome so we are disagreeing about that. One if his daughters from a previous relationship moved in with us with her 10 month old son, my niece was in a major car accident a couple weeks ago. I had surgery on my knee in February and pretty much have been off of work since. He had his appendix removed in January and he had a heart attack(38 years old) last September.

 

So I’m trying my hardest not to just drop him after over 18 years and 3 kids together over a feeling I got a week ago and may be just related t

Well, Its no wonder you're feeling the way you are. While you're waiting for your anti-anxiety meds to kick in, try meditation and maybe ask your doctor about seeing a psychologist so that you have someone to talk things out with. Not sure of your age but you may even be peri-menopausal which could cause you to feel anxious due to hormone changes, add stress and depression to that and its understandable that you're feeling indifference to your husband in general.

I think this is probably a "this too shall pass" situation. Give it some time and look into therapy to help you through this.

On Edit: I see you're due to see a counselor tomorrow. Best of luck getting through this.