We both really shy and awkward!

Ok, so I like this guy, we're both really awkward and shy and we're in the same friend group. We always end up together at parties and had a thing a few times when we were drunk. We also went on a date once which was fine but I panicked and told him that I wasn't ready for anything yet, after that we barely talked. The last party we went to, we obviously ended up together again and now I really wanna talk to him but I don't know how to start. Also I don't want him telling all our friends because I start panicking when people tease me about these things and friends will always do that, they don't mean to do me harm I know that but I freak out and they don't know I do and I'd rather not tell them about my panick attacks etc.

If you have been on a date and panicked, then you are not ready to date whether you get paired up with this guy frequently or not. Maybe its a good idea to practice conversational skills or to maybe meet someone who is chattier who will try to draw you out, versus two people where neither one of them can talk to eachother at all. You brushed this guy off pretty much. It might be hard to recover from that. The only thing you can do is ask him out - yes, its on you since you rejected him - its not on him to ask you out and if you have a good time, tell him that you told him last time you weren't looking for anything because you were nervous, not because you aren't ready and see how he reacts. I will say that me and my guy work because we balance eachother out -- he won't talk much in group settings unless he is confidant on the subject matter where i will if needed. He is more outdoorsy than me and that has gotten me to be very outdoorsy and it balances out the time i spend on the computer for work and he doesn't like to use computers much.

You may consider that you need to be with someone who compliments and understands you.

As well as working on getting your anxiety in check.

I tend to run a little on the quiet, reserved side so I have learned that I prefer not to date someone

equally reserved. Someone has to talk!

I can definitely hold my own, but if I feel I have to do all the heavy lifting because my partner happens to be quiet

or possibly more quiet than myself, it leads some awkward and uncomfortable moments.

Have you had other experiences with people (not necessarily dating) that you just felt as ease with and

the conversation seemed natural and easy? That's what you should strive for.