3 months later

Roughly 3 months ago my girlfriend left me, a relationship i beleived would lead to marriage and a family and everything i wanted, i was so happy with her, the full details are in some of my previous posts but to cut a long story short she ended it saying she wasnt happy and that was that. It messed me up emotionally and mentally i wasnt well for a while, not sleeping, trouble at work all sorts. And since then we havent spoke at all, she blocked every form of contact.

I feel ive accepted the fact its over (i didnt want to for a long time) but ive come to terms wiith the fact ill probably never get a chance with her again. Ive moved on and im really just focusing on myself, i was an avid gym member before the breakup but i seem to have gained such a passion for it, it helps me massively with my self esteem and anxiety and its all i care about right now.

I have to be honest im really not interested in getting into another relationship any time soon its all still abit too raw for me and i dont think it wouldnt be fair on me or the next girl when im still feeling like this. Ill get there, i just seem to take alot longer to bounce back, I would 100% say that i have definatly healed somewhat, its not enough but i do feel better, i do still think of this girl everyday and thats no exaggeration, she meant the world to me.

Like i said ive had no contact with her for 3 months but part of me would like to talk to her still, and talk about why she felt like this as i never had a chance to talk when she broke up with me. But part of me thinks you know what Ben you didnt really mean much to her at all and any effort i made would be wasted. Its her birthday in just over a month, i have toyed with the idea of sending her some birthday flowers and a card just to let her know theres no hard feelings and show that i still think and care about her and then hopefully shell talk but im not sure whether that will just embarrass me, afterall i dont know whats happened since, Ide be lieing if i said i didnt want her back, if i didnt i wouldnt still feel like this i just wish there was something i could do to just speak to her. And ive always gone with what my heart tells me in the past and right now my heart is saying do a nice gesture.

Its definatly easier as time goes on, and anyone who has just broken up i just want you to know it will get easier, i never beleived anyone who said that but it does, its still really tough, its still painfull and gives you that physical sick feeling in your stomach when you think about them...but its a different pain to the initial breakup, because if like me, you know theres nothing more you can do. And you just go over and over everything untill it all feels unreal. Ive never been the sort of person to open up, i keep myself to myself but ive learnt that having people to talk to really helps and if i can repay what people have done for me then ide happily listen to anyones stories and try my best to help them if anyone needs someone to talk to inbox me, i was in a dark dark place and ide never wish how i felt on anyone.

Im not really after any advice in particular, but ill gladly take anything anyone has learnt/experienced because this was my first serious relationship, im just writing how im feeling as i go through this breakup, and how im recovering, i had been doing great but i just seem to have hit a brick wall and gone back to my old ways

Thanks

And ive always gone with what my heart tells me in the past and right now my heart is saying do a nice gesture.

Sorry to hear of your pain. Please give over the steering-wheel to your head in this case. Contacting her and doing a “nice gesture” isn’t going to win her back....if anything it will diminish you even further in her eyes. It sends out the message that you are quite happy to be treated the way you were and YOU are the one looking for her attention after the way she treated you. Why would anyone with a shred of self-respect want to be with someone who didn’t want to be with them.

Try and strike a balance between listening to your heart and your head......your heart only sees what it wants to see!

Good luck.

Good advice from Sean, I agree.

It will keep improving. Reaching out could be a real set back though. You're giving her control and hoping for the best, which is dangerous for you.

I totally agree...

The gesture will not solve anything... It will actually make you look needy, easy, clingy etc.... And you will be wasting your $ and your emotions.

Keep on holding on to your self-dignity...

She dumped you? Correct?

Let her come begging for you...

Trust me, eventually she will... It may be a few years, but it will happen... Especially if it was a long term and meaningful relationship... Eventually they do miss you... And they do think about you...

I just recently had two of my EX's contact me via FB... Years later...lol... And they are both married...But for some reason, they never forgot about me... And although they are married, and I won't go down that route, still both of them send me messages with apologies to what happened years ago, and both expressed that they always had feelings for me and loved me... I was blown away...

Currently I am in the same boat as you... Blocked everywhere etc....

Best advice is, continue NC.... Let them unblock and contact you... Let them crawl back.... Even if it is years later...hahaha.... They never forget you.... Never...

Noooooo to the birthday flowers..you'll feel much better doing something for yourself that day and not contacting her at all. It's the only way to really detach and heal. Been there done that trust me

My old roommate once had a really hard break up and went to therapy and his therapist always told him that time is your best friend...

The more time that goes by, the easier it will be to move on...

I would also try not to focus on the past and just focus on how amazing it will be when you find some wayyy more attractive that has a super high interest in ya.... Life is too short to spend time with those who's attraction is low....it makes things like dating soo much more complicated....and statistically, there are wayyyy more beautiful single woman in the world than you could possible date...