Is it possible to get back together?? In NC right now.

I’ve known this girl for roughly 2 years, but only started really talking to her back in May of this year (2017). We worked basketball together maybe once or twice 2 years ago and we really hit it off. But I was too afraid to ask her out then. I thought there was no way she couldn’t have had a boyfriend at the time. Well our paths crossed again this year like I said. We started dating in May and she broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. She’s 18 and I’m a 21 year old male. She had to go off to college for basketball and obviously school and I understood it was gonna be hard because ldr’s are always tough.

It’s only a 6 hour drive between us but still. We’re in two different states. Well when she first left I got really depressed and started acting short and distant with her. I let my emotions get the best of me and I didn’t talk to her about it until we got into a fight about 2 weeks into the school year. She Tried breaking it off about a week later because she said she didn’t know if she could move on from me doing that to her because she thought I was the one person in the world who wouldn’t do that. And I asked her to give me some time to show her nothing like that would ever happen again. She said she would give me a week. She started acting short and distant no matter how much love or support I gave her. It started to seem like she didn’t care. And then she told me one night that she just feels like things are different and that she’s uninterested now. But she still stayed with me until that week was up. Then she found out she wasn’t going to have enough time for me because she had to have PT for an injury she gained and it would be during the times that she would be able to talk to me. I told her that was fine that there would be times she would be able to talk to me. That I expected this to happen. But she just wanted to end things because she was way too stressed out about school and sports and us, she didn’t think it was fair to me and that she didn’t think she could be in a committed relationship right now. I told her I respect and supported her decisions. That maybe we could talk about it one of these times when she was home and she said she would be up for that and that she appreciates that I understand her wanting to be single and alone and her doing her right now.. We tried to be friends right after the break up but I felt like I was bothering her. So I told her I needed some time to myself because a lot of stuff had been happening in my life at the time and still is. I told her what was going on and she said her life hadn’t been perfect since we broke up either. She lost a family member shortly after we broke up and she said maybe the break up was best for us both with what was going on in both of our lives. I tried to let her know I was here for her and that I’d do anything to help ease the pain of her loss and then later in the conversation it got brought back to us and I acted very needy and desperate and I regret that because that probably ruined any chance of us getting back together. I did say, “I shouldn’t even say it but I’ve already said all kinds of stuff today. I love you, but you already knew that.” She told me she loved me back and I’m still trying to figure out if she really meant it or if she just to said it to try and make me feel better. I then said, “Thanks for making me the happiest man and making me smile again❤️“ She responded with “I hope you continue to be happy and smile.” I then responded with, “Everything will fall into place and eventually I will be.” She never responded after that and I started NC after that conversation. It’s almost been a week of it and it’s driving me insane. All I can think about is her and what she’s doing and who she’s with. If she’s slept with another guy already or if she’s dating someone else! She’s literally everywhere I look and I’m driving myself crazy and it’s taking a toll on my body and mind. I’m having migraines, back pains, chest pains, and I had my first ever panic attack from this. I know the NC period is a time for me to move forward and better myself not for her but for me. I’ve recently started taking care of myself again. I’ve started playing video games again and hanging out with my friends. I’ve gotten drunk a few times but with friends not by myself because I’m depressed. Even though I am. It helps ease the pain but it’s only a temporary relief and I understand that. I’ve done so much thinking in just this one week. Conversations I’d have with her if I get the chance when she comes home. Scenarios that probably aren’t happening. Telling myself everything will be okay. Everything happens for a reason. If we’re meant to be we’ll find a way to make it work. I’ve even started singing Frank Sinatra. I plan on going back to the gym twice a day starting tomorrow to keep my mind at ease. She even told me she’s looking at it as the right person just the wrong time. It sucks because we only dated for three months but we’ve talked about our future together, our dreams and what drives us, all of that, and I still believe this is the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with. She probably doesn’t think that way anymore and that sucks. She’s supposed to come home at the beginning of October and I’m wondering if we’ll get the chance to sit down and talk about everything.

Maybe she’s not as stressed anymore and she has everything figured out now. But she hasn’t tried to contact me at all during this first week of NC even though everyone I’ve talked to who has done this has had their ex trying to get in contact with them the first few days or the entire time. It just makes me wonder if there really is a chance for us to get back together.. I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe at the end of this NC period I won’t even want her back. But I would still like her as a friend because she is an amazing and wonderful person that I would love to keep in contact with.

We didn’t end badly and we only had one fight that Was really my fault. I made her think I was mad at her for leaving for college when all I wanted was for her to get the best education possible. I told her I understood that school and sports were a priority that’s why she’s there. They’re first and I’m second. Everyone I talk to about this say I’m so understanding, loving, caring, and supportive and she’s lucky to have a guy like me. But if that’s the case then why are we broken up? Is there hope? Or should I really just move on and try to find someone else? Sorry for how long this is. There are just a lot of details. There’s also a quote I love to read when I’m down. It’s from Rocky Balboa. “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!”

Anything is possible. NC isn't some trick to get them back (as been said until this site is blue in its web-code face). It's so that you can learn from what went wrong, improve on those things, make them a part of who you are forever, and to heal. To get past the anxiety that comes with breakups. The fear, the doubt, etc. When time has passed and you feel like you're in a place to reach out without requiring anything in return (it must be honest...the lack of need). Then you can simply say "Hi - thought of you. How are you doing?" and leave it at that. If we really loved someone then we want them happy with or without us. If you require them to be with you, that is simply a fear of being alone. Anxiety. And not real love. The kind of love everyone thinks they had with their ex when they come here.