Feelings towards an old flame...I am married.

Having a little trouble understanding these feelings. I hope someone can help me! So I've lived a few hours away from my hometown for 3 years, married for 1 1/2 years. I have a baby. Recently my crush from the past that I had feelings towards moved close to the town that I live in so I see him twice a week now!!! And it's driving me CRAZY. Every time I see him, he stares at me until I say hi or notice him. Then he watches me when he thinks I'm not looking (proof: a friend asked me..why is he staring at you so much? So she noticed him too).

We never were "official". I was always way too scared to admit that he was cute. And funny, and sooo kind. I started really falling for him after he came up to me in front of my friends one night hanging out, his friends and my friends, put his arm around me and had a coin and gave it to me and said what a shining disposition I had and how I shined on everything I walked on. Then, he would come over my house at least 3 times a week for lunch when he worked 10 min away, made a solid effort to talk to me at any time he saw me, was my lab partner in our one class we had together, and we studied together a few times. He also asked me to come with him to our friends camping trip..just me and him. We talked and laughed the whole hour ride there. And after we'd see each other and share a little smile that held a little more than just a smile of friendship. ...then, I was talking to another guy friend I had there and he got very jealous and glared at the guy the whole time I was talking to him. Then he didn't talk to me the entire way home..except forced small talk. I was too nervous to ask him what he was thinking. A friend then asked if I liked him and I lied and said no because I was afraid of being hurt in case he didn't. Then she told me later that he quickly said he didn't have feelings for me either as soon as she told him I didn't like him..but that his ears turned super red like they do when he was lying.

So, longer story short, a little while after that there seemed to be a distance between us. my feelings were so strong and scary and hurting because he said he didn't like me like that and then he texted asking if I was home for lunch, and I then angrily texted him that he couldn't come over anymore. He said why? Then tried to call me and I cowardly ignored it. After that, I didn't hear much from or about him, and if I did I completely ignored him. (I know, you're probably thinking okay, you are dumb.)

Ahem. So yes. I'm now married. And I haven't thought about him much until now, and I feel those feelings resurfacing again. And get the SAME VIBE from him again, and he always says hi no matter if I'm in the middle of a conversation with someone else and has brushed against my arm if he can get close enough. And secretly guiltily I am pleased.

.......Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly and would never ever leave him for someone else. And I KNOW that this old flame would never want to ruin my marriage relationship.. but I'm just trying to understand now, what is going on?! And what do I do? Thanks for any words. Much appreciated!

I'm kindof going through the same thing right now. Your old love pops back up out of nowhere when things are going awesome with the life/husband, right? Feelings come rushing back etc.

I think its natural to not forget about romances like that. Our relationship was free and crazy but also very irresponsible and naive. I think seeing him again might take you back to the way you used to feel about him.

Have you thought about telling your husband about what's going on? I personally went out of my way to let my ex know how happy I am at this time with my husband (despite my crazy, school girl crush memories rushing through my head). I know that we are not those people anymore.

I had a huge crush on a girl I met a few years ago and last week she flirted with me and invited me to go in a weekend trip with her....and I have a gf...so I definitely know what it's like....but i just know it would complicate things and turned down the offer...

Thank you. Glad that I'm not alone!! What a great reminder that we all grow out of the younger year things! I have told my husband that my old crush might still have feelings for him but that he doesn't have any reason to be mad or jealous because I married him for many many reasons.

Oh no!! That was probably a hard decision, but the right one for you nonetheless if you are committed to your current girlfriend!

Thank you. Glad that I'm not alone!! What a great reminder that we all grow out of the younger year things! I have told my husband that my old crush might still have feelings for him but that he doesn't have any reason to be mad or jealous because I married him for many many reasons.

How did your husband handle that confession? Did you tell him that you might still have feelings for your old crush or that your old crush may still have feelings for you?

How did your husband handle that confession? Did you tell him that you might still have feelings for your old crush or that your old crush may still have feelings for you?

Sorry, I meant to say my old crush may still have feelings for me, not him! My husband simply smiled knowingly and said "well he's a good guy so no hard feelings to him." He's not really a jealous type of fella, my husband. I didn't say anything about how I felt, because I suspected it's just a passing thing since it had been so long since me and my old flame had seen each other, but did share a few times we had together that I was fond of! He laughed about the coin story!

Sorry, I meant to say my old crush may still have feelings for me, not him! My husband simply smiled knowingly and said "well he's a good guy so no hard feelings to him." He's not really a jealous type of fella, my husband. I didn't say anything about how I felt, because I suspected it's just a passing thing since it had been so long since me and my old flame had seen each other, but did share a few times we had together that I was fond of! He laughed about the coin story!

Seems you may still have feelings for him to.

So yes. I'm now married. And I haven't thought about him much until now, and I feel those feelings resurfacing again.

but I'm just trying to understand now, what is going on?! And what do I do?

Why do you have to see him two times a week?