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Thread: 28 years old living at home, lost and stuck.

  1. #1

    28 years old living at home, lost and stuck.

    I am 28, live with my parents in rural area of CA , struggling with debt still but want to move , the closest coffee shop for example is 45 minutes away. Very.. isolated for me. Just to give you an idea. We moved here last year amd I wish I didn't move back home but with bills (credit card and car payments) I had too. I've still been seeing my boyfriend , but he's been emotionally abusive with me and I'm scared to end it.

    I graduated college last year, and have despite living on my own for three years ( apartments on campus, a very safe controlled environment), I'm having trouble getting on my feet. The careers I've looked into involve Masters and I don't want that debt at the moment.

    I've suffered from bouts of depression (moved a lot as a kid and teen, had a hard time establishing stability), and anxiety. It has also taken me awhile I feel to reach any milestone in life. I shouldn't compare my life to others but I do. The family relocated to the small area we are in now and I feel so stuck , looking for therapists at the moment to help with things. I have friends but I don't like being vulnerable with my problems.

    I have my hobbies, and counseling should help, I'm also paying a lot of debt off. I'm afraid to end my relationship, change careers, etc...but I'm young enough that I'm hopeful. What do any of you think of my situation? I feel far behind others , emotionally struggling and just scared of a horrible relapse into bad anxiety again and poor relationship choices.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    I feel for you. I'm in a very similar boat. I'm 30 and graduated college a couple years ago. I got a good job working for a telecom company. I also met this amazing girl who I thought I would marry. I was living great! I made good money and was with the girl of my dreams and at the beginning of this year it all fell apart. First I lost the job. Then my girlfriend randomly left me and I never saw her again. I was devastated and still have not recovered. It's been 8 months and still can't get another job in my field. I still miss my ex dearly and am not in the right frame of mind to try dating again. I've battled extreme depression, loneliness and self doubt. I am very scared for my future. I know that's probably not helpful but you're not alone. We will get through this though. Hang in there.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    Consider signing up with temp agencies. Schedule interviews with one per day, at least 3 per week, starting with the ones closest to you and working a radius outward. This will get you into companies--the role doesn't matter. The goal is to get inside so you can apply for jobs with their HR department that are not usually posted to the public.

    Temping is a 'try before you buy' relationship for both you and the firm. Most companies hire this way, because the temp work demos your work ethic and soft skills. Those are most important to companies, because they can tailor a match between the right people with the right jobs over time if they like you.

    So get inside to learn which are the most desirable work environments for you, and demonstrate that you are the right fit for their environment. You can only do that by getting onto temp 'active' rosters--sending resumes won't accomplish that. Most agencies don't have job openings lying around, they fill them with people who've interviewed and tested already--so go do that and get on their active lists.

    To speed up your savings to move out on your own or with roommates, add a part time job a few nights and or a weekend day. You can ditch the part time gig after you get into your own place, so make a move that you can afford on just the salary of your full time job.

    Head high, we all go through this. I'd ditch the abusive BF. If you work hard enough, you won't have time for him anyway.


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