Help

Me and my girlfriend (I am a lesbian) of six months broke up almost two weeks ago. She broke up with me. She basically feels as though I did not give her the love and affection she needed. I'll admit, there were a lot of things I could have done better and after not talking to her for an entire week I was able to do some self reflection. We were good together, just needed some improvements. Anyway. After about a week of not speaking to one another (she was ignoring me). She finally reaches out and we have been talking every day since then; she's been reaching out. Yesterday, she all of a sudden seemed to be pulling away. So I set my pride aside and asked her for one last chance. I plead my case and she said it left her confused. And she said if I could give her some time to think about it. I complied. This morning she sends me a good morning text and wished me a beautiful day. But we didn't talk about us or anything. I'm just so confused. I don't know where we stand. I just need some advice. I'm afraid to get my hopes up but the fact that she reached out is a good sign, right?

Time is on your side. You stated your case, now pull back and let her process. Don't pressure for a decision. Focus on being fun and kind for now.

I've been in the same situation. Also a lesbian, had my fair share of on-again-off-again with my ex. In the beginning during one of these instances, I broke up and then freaked out and tried to chase after her. I pleaded and apologized and even spent $500 for a last minute flight to/from her only for her to reject me without even second guessing. I went home dejected and heartbroken, but accepting that I had messed up. Two weeks later, with zero contact between us, she liked and commented on a picture on my Instagram, then reached out to me via twitter saying she missed me (I blocked her number so she had no way of contacting except social media). We talked again and made the mistake of jumping right back into things. I kept breaking up with her throughout our 5 year relationship and that's why we aren't together anymore, but if she wants space, just give her space. And you should reflect on how these 6 months have been during this "break". If she comes back, you'll have been proactive with the time and working on yourself. If not, you'll be better ready for someone else.

I've been in the same situation. Also a lesbian, had my fair share of on-again-off-again with my ex. In the beginning during one of these instances, I broke up and then freaked out and tried to chase after her. I pleaded and apologized and even spent $500 for a last minute flight to/from her only for her to reject me without even second guessing. I went home dejected and heartbroken, but accepting that I had messed up. Two weeks later, with zero contact between us, she liked and commented on a picture on my Instagram, then reached out to me via twitter saying she missed me (I blocked her number so she had no way of contacting except social media). We talked again and made the mistake of jumping right back into things. I kept breaking up with her throughout our 5 year relationship and that's why we aren't together anymore, but if she wants space, just give her space. And you should reflect on how these 6 months have been during this "break". If she comes back, you'll have been proactive with the time and working on yourself. If not, you'll be better ready for someone else.

Thank you! I will definitely just give her the space she's requesting although it is really hard. She told me she was talking to someone and we haven't even been broken up a full two weeks yet. A part of me doesn't believe her because when I asked her was she talking to someone she replied and said "if I tell you I'm talking to someone would that help you to let me go?" I replied and said "if you want me to let you go, I will." And she said she didn't know but is saying that she met this person after we broke up. So that is another factor.

I haven't been in a situation like that...but hindsight is 20/20 and it won't be for you until you go through it, so from another perspective...why would you still want to hold onto someone who could hurt you like that? There are plenty of better alternatives to tell someone to let go, such as just literally telling you to let go of the relationship. But she'd rather maybe lie? Or maybe even tell you the truth for the sole purpose of shaking you off. That's not what you do to someone you've been intimate with/love. I'm not an advocate of strict no contact, but I do believe that it is necessary to put some space between the two of you. If she contacts you, give it a few days before you reply. She probably misses your presence in her life and wants your attention, but she still prefers to be single. Leave her to her own devices. You deserve better.

I haven't been in a situation like that...but hindsight is 20/20 and it won't be for you until you go through it, so from another perspective...why would you still want to hold onto someone who could hurt you like that? There are plenty of better alternatives to tell someone to let go, such as just literally telling you to let go of the relationship. But she'd rather maybe lie? Or maybe even tell you the truth for the sole purpose of shaking you off. That's not what you do to someone you've been intimate with/love. I'm not an advocate of strict no contact, but I do believe that it is necessary to put some space between the two of you. If she contacts you, give it a few days before you reply. She probably misses your presence in her life and wants your attention, but she still prefers to be single. Leave her to her own devices. You deserve better.

Thank you so much for the advice. You really put things in perspective for me. And you're right, I do deserve better.

Just give it time. If she didn't want to seriously entertain a reconciliation she would have said "no" and left. The fact that she said she wanted to think about it was because she has feelings and fears, she asked for Time cause she needs to reconcile them. She doesn't want to break off contact so she is staying in touch. Be her friend! And give her the time she asked for! I have my fingers crossed for you!

Thank you! I will definitely just give her the space she's requesting although it is really hard. She told me she was talking to someone and we haven't even been broken up a full two weeks yet. A part of me doesn't believe her because when I asked her was she talking to someone she replied and said "if I tell you I'm talking to someone would that help you to let me go?" I replied and said "if you want me to let you go, I will." And she said she didn't know but is saying that she met this person after we broke up. So that is another factor.

Respecting her request for space is so very important. Its hard for us, but it has to be done. My ex broke up eith me, then decided he'd rather have a break than a breakup. But I kept reaching out. And he did the same thing....he said something extremely hurtful to push me away. This is why its imperative that you respect their wishes, because if they feel pressured, they can say things that could permanently damage any chance of reconciliation.