Death Robbed Me

I'm living in a town where I really don't have any friends. I've only made a few friends and they moved. I acquainted myself with my employees. But nothing outside of work. What brought me out here you ask? My ex. We were on the brink of being homeless and our home City. His parents had moved out here six months prior. So we had no other choice but to come out here. Well I get a job... he gets addicted to synthetic marijuana. Long story short he ruined my life.

So I finally got a new house after he made me lose my last one. I'm all alone. I don't do anything. I'm sober. I'm trying to get my daughter back through the state thanks to him for us losing her momentarily. I'm almost there I'm about to get her back.

The only kind of friendship that I have is over the phone through my best friends from my home City. So I did join a dating site and I met someone on there that seemed very promising. We talked for at least a month. He never disrespected me. He never asked for any kind of nude pictures. He didn't ask for any sexual favors or talk to me any kind of derogatory way like most men do on dating sites. He really got to know me and I really got to know him. I know all the names of his four kids. I even know his birthday which happens to be 4 days before my daughters. We have the same interests we made each other laugh and we finally decided to meet. He lives about 30 minutes outside of the town that I live in which I guess that's far to people that are from here.... I'm a city girl 30 minutes is not far at all. I'm a waitress and I work late like I get off at like three o'clock in the morning sometimes. And we were really eager to finally meet. So we decided we were going to watch a movie when I got off work. I finally got off of work early, compared to most, at 2:30 a.m. it takes me equivalent of 7 minutes to make it to my house from my work mind you I did gather my things at work so I get home 2:41 a.m. I get a text him asking if I was there and I told him yes I'm sorry I was driving here is my address at 2:42 a.m. 10 minutes go by no response. I realize that my landlord had fix my water heater that's been broken for about a week I was super excited to take a hot shower so I messaged him 3:07 a.m that I was going to jump in the shower and if he was on his way. Again no response. So I just get in the shower he'll probably show up by the time I get out. I get out 15 minutes later. Still no response. No one outside my house. His phone goes straight to voicemail. So by that point I'm thinking I got stood up I was just being played with. But I still let time go by... maybe his phone died? I said question marks to him around 3:37 a.m. nothing still by 4:03 a.m. I told him you know what I'm just going to go to bed then. I wake up to my phone ringing with the name Christina showing up I'm thinking it's one of the waitresses I work with I don't answer because she's probably asking for a ride or something I'm going to sleep instead.

Then my Works number calls me. Again I think it's her. I listen to the voicemail that was left and it was my boss who happens to have the same name as the waitress Christina. She says Skye this is emergency Samuel's uncle's are here he's missing they can't find him. I immediately call back. I get his number. I call his uncle. They said that he had borrowed his car and he was super excited to meet me and was all giddy and since they lived somebwhat out of the town they decided to get a hotel instead. Well he never showed up to the hotel. He also never showed up to work the next morning which they say is not like him. They come up to my work about 3 times. I show them the text messages. They can't have OnStar track down the car. There was no report of an accident. I meet his parents. His mother in tears. I still hear nothing from him neither have they. Next day around 4 p.m. before I have to go to work I find out that he had driven off an overpass and there was drinking involved. If I had known he had been drinking I would have cancelled the whole thing. Cried my eyes out. Went to work late. Was offered to not go in. But I had to work because I need the money. The next day I was asked for my number from someone. I gave it out hesitantly. thinking maybe some kind of distraction would help. He offered to take me to seeing the movie Logan. The movie that me and Samuel were supposed to see.

I accepted. We went. Before the movie started there was a preview to the new Deadpool movie coming out Samuel had sent me that link to that movie and we were super excited. And the whole time I'm watching a movie I'm thinking of Samuel. I'm thinking of how he was supposed to be off on Sunday through Thursday and we were going to spend those whole days together. I still try to do distract myself from this. I asked the guy what he wants to do he said let's hang out have a few beers. We go to my place. He picks the show that Samuel wanted to watch. Which I told him about, Legion. He ends up falling asleep. I end up crying myself to sleep. I know I didn't know Samuel for too long. But his company through text messages and talking on the phone was enough. I truly believe he was interested in me. I thought he was cute, like really cute. I am hurt because I actually find someone I'm interested in and on the way to my house he died the first time we're supposed to meet in person. His services are this Friday and I don't know if I want to go. I don't want that to be the first and last time I meet him. And then I don't feel like anyone understands me. Super angry at the world right now. I feel like I got robbed. I don't know how to take this. The guy I went on the date went home. I truly feel like he was boring. Haven't messaged him. Or called him. I don't know if I can hurry up and talk to other people? Because I'm in a lot of pain. what are the odds that somebody your going to meet for the time first time dies on the way over?

Today I had to run errands... not really but I did have to make a money order for rent and I finally got out of bed. Manage to get dressed. Put on some makeup. Only to end back up in bed and to convince myself to go do what I had to. It took me two hours to decide to leave.

I don't know how to end this article without going on and on But i truly feel that Death robbed me an opportunity to be happy.

I'm sorry for your loss. That is truly a heartbreaking story. Maybe you should go to the memorial service so that you can get closure. With that said, you need to stop jumping from man to man. This is not healthy for you and it will not create a stable environment for your daughter. Learn to take care of just yourself and your daughter.

My heart goes out for you. This sounds devestating. Thanks for venting your feelings, I hope these vents serve to help you recover.

I would suggest seeking therapy. Perhaps at the top of this screen at "Live Expert Advice"

Dating other men should be put on hold until you can get past this pain.

I only went on the date to distract myself from the whole thing. I admitted through the thread it was a mistake. I don't have my daughter bk yet but soon I will.