I feel like I met my soulmate but it's not the right time

(Sorry this is a long one).

I have been in love with people many times and gotten my heart broken many times. But this is a situation different than the rest of my relationships. I met this boy online who I had seldom interest in, but he asked me on a date to the science center and I agreed to go anyway. The second I saw him for the first time my insides bursted with the strangest feeling of excitement. The date went fantastic. I felt so comfortable with him right off the bat. The date was short but we already were picking at each other's brains and also developing inside jokes. At the end of the date he imminently wanted to make plans of our next date. Then we just hugged good bye. I left the date as happy as I've ever felt after a first date. He texted me not even 30 mins after leaving the date telling me how excited he is to get so see me again and how great of a time he had. These amazing dates kept happening and I felt like we were developing a relationship. Before I knew it, I fell in love with him. But it was different that any other time I've fallen in love. It felt so pure and so strong that sometimes I would stare in his eyes and feel like I'm going to vomit because the feeling was so overwhelming. Everything is like a true love story till one day, boom, he broke up with me out of no where. He said he just got out of a serious relationship and wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. I respected him space and before I knew it he was back with him ex. I felt like my whole soul was just ripped out of me. For about 3 days straight I kept throwing up everytime I thought about him. But over time I decided I needed to try dating other people myself. I found someone I really liked but I couldn't stop thinking about the guy I loved. I just always wished it was him I was with. Then one day out of no where he came back in my life. I decided to give him another change. Everything went back to normal. I felt like we were falling in love even harder now. I wanted to be with him for as long as I could. Then it happened again, he left out of no where. He didn't get back with his ex this time. But he came back again after a couple of weeks. He said he's still having trouble figuring out if he's ready for a relationship but always regrets leaving me because he likes me so much. Of course I took him back because once again, I love him more than anything. All I've ever wanted to do was tell him I love him. I told everyone else but him how crazy I was for him. But I couldn't tell him because I know he's not in the same place I am for a relationship. Then after 9 months of being madly in love with this boy, I decided I needed to tell him or I'd explode. It didn't go well. He said we shouldn't continue to see each other because he doesn't know what he wants and doesn't want me to get more hurt. I don't understand his mindset. He seems crazy for me when we're together. We act like a full blown couple. He shows so many signs he loves me just as much as I love him. I felt like we were the perfect soulmates. I don't get how I can be so passionately in love with someone and they say they don't love me back. I'd get if we were only seeing each other for a few months. But we were off and on for 9 months and my feelings never changed, they just kept growing. This ending doesn't feel right at all and I don't know what to do with myself. Can anybody give me advise on what I should do? I feel like I'm falling apart slowly. Like I don't have the ability to love anyone else again, I feel like I forgot what true happiness feels like without him. I truely feel like he's my soulmate but shouldn't he feel the same way about me too?

As someone who has met her soulmate, I can tell you that soulmates are not necessarily the ones we end up with, married happily ever after. Relationships with soulmates can be nerve wrecking, with lots of ups and downs, and no, they don't always act as you think they should, given the connection. Sometimes 2 people who are soulmates do end up together which is awesome, but those cases are the exception not the norm. Most often, they come and go out of your life, and can turn it upside down. I know all about not being able to be interested in anyone else after having felt such a strong connection with someone, and if he is indeed your soulmate I'm afraid I don't have much good news for you because this situation may drag for years and perhaps the rest of your life. I know it's natural to say "shouldn't he feel the same?"...unfortunately the answer is no, that's not how it works. Even if they do feel *something* (a pull towards you), in many cases they don't know what it is and/or external circumstances are preventing them from being aware of what's going on.

However in your case, it may just be a matter of liking this guy a lot, which gives you the illusion that you met your soulmate, while in reality it is just about a strong chemistry on your side, unfortunately un-reciprocated by him. Clearly he likes you enough not to want to give you up for good, but not enough to actually stick around and commit.

If your connection is a soulmate one, he will come back time and time again, and no matter how many people will tell you to use your brain and not take him back, you will because you won't be able to help it. If it's not a soulmate situation, you will eventually move on, the pain will subside in time. You don't have to force yourself to date anyone right now, when you're still reeling from this breakup. Give yourself time, and when you feel ready try going back to the dating world. If you meet someone else you click with, then you'll know this guy was just a transient passion that unfortunately wasn't mutual. If years from now you feel you still can't move on, then yes, I think it would be safe to say this guy was your soulmate, but there are no guarantees of a happy ending.

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately it sounds like he's not as ready for a relationship as you are. Being on/off is a red flag.

It would be best to go no contact and stop taking him back, he's not sure about you or a relationship.

Have you read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"? It may help you see the signs if someone really wants to date you or not.

he broke up with me out of no where. He said he just got out of a serious relationship and wasn't sure what he wanted anymore.he was back with him ex.Then one day out of no where he came back in my life. Then it happened again, he left out of no where. we were off and on for 9 months and my feelings never changed, they just kept growing.