What to do

Ok so my boyfriend proposed to me on Christmas Eve, total shock to me given the circumstances of what is in our relationship we have three children one together and two outside blended family well long story short we have come along way things for the most part have been good I've learned to not question him and give him the benefit of doubt with all that has taken place in our relationship in the past(him leaving to bars out drinking, having more than a coparenting relationship with his ex, contacting his other ex when we were having issues) I was labeled the crazy person due to my reactions to all of what he was doing I did tend to act a bit crazy some times crazier than I should have I was hurt and didn't know how to handle things had no one to talk to about it or him because he would just say if you feel this way just leave find someone else well again long story short I give him his privacy don't go through his phone try not to ask questions etc well other day as we were sitting together he was showing me something on his phone I saw a messaging application on his phone and I said hmm what is that he tried getting up and walking away to delete it well I would go for an hour asking to see it and asking why he had this well he keep saying he's embarrassed blah blah finally I got the phone and not to my shocking surprise it was a Facebook messaging app he created a FAKE page with fake photos and wrote his ex girlfriend, his sons mother another ex, multiple bartenders as well as people I don't even know he was having full on conversations with his sons mother asking her inappropriate questions asking for photos sending her photos of a porn star telling her she looks like her I was just blown away as to why? Why would he do this? The intentions he really had no remorse as I'm crying asking why did he do this to me well after all of this he gets mad at me because I'm sad and upset and said if I'm going to be questioning him and basically want to know what he is doing etc than things will not work between us as if I need to handle this how he wants me to.. I'm just so hurt and distraught and confused why did he propose to me and still have this why is he telling me to move on find someone else if I can't just drop it we have a beautiful daughter who doesn't deserve to see any of this an two other children who have saw enough i don't know or understand why or how he had the time to make a fake page and conversations with women who have always been a problem in our relationship im just blown away and don't unders

Wow, that's the longest sentence in the world. A few full stops (periods?) would make it much more readable.

Anyway, this guy is a cheating liar and you would be making a huge mistake if you married him. Married or not, he has no intention of staying faithful. The fact that he can twist this around onto you so blatantly is making a mockery of you.

Yeah that's one hell of a long sentence! Seriously, dont marry this guy.

Sorry to her this. How long have you been together? Communication about co-parenting is fine but it sounds like he's not over his exes.

Turning a blind eye to drinking and cheating won't help the situation and it seems he feels free to prowl around. Are you hoping he changes?

my boyfriend proposed to me on Christmas Eve. we have three children one together and two outside blended family.him leaving to bars out drinking, having more than a coparenting relationship with his ex. he was having full on conversations with his sons mother asking her inappropriate questions asking for photos sending.

Sorry to her this. How long have you been together? Communication about co-parenting is fine but it sounds like he's not over his exes.

 

Turning a blind eye to drinking and cheating won't help the situation and it seems he feels free to prowl around. Are you hoping he changes?

Thanks for not focusing on my punctuation

We have been together for 5 years before that dating on and off since I was 21 now 27

Hoping that he changes? I'm not sure I understand people make mistakes I just don't understand the need for it and the fact it's a fake Facebook why not just have a Facebook with ur photos on it just confusing

Wow, that's the longest sentence in the world. A few full stops (periods?) would make it much more readable.

 

Anyway, this guy is a cheating liar and you would be making a huge mistake if you married him. Married or not, he has no intention of staying faithful. The fact that he can twist this around onto you so blatantly is making a mockery of you.

Thanks for focusing on the irrelevance of my punctuation I was literally thinking & writing

Thank you for ur kind words I agree

Thanks for focusing on the irrelevance of my punctuation I was literally thinking & writing

Thank you for ur kind words I agree

It was just not that easy to read. If something is hard to read you won't get as much input or advice. I didn't mean to offend you.

Anyway as to your situation, I understand that people make mistakes but he has been messing you around for the best part of your relationship. One thing stood out to me in your post. You said ..... "I've learned to not question him." So not only does he mess you about but he has also made you accept it. I feel pretty confident in saying that this guy isn't going to change any time soon. You can have so much better than his meager offerings as a boyfriend and soon to be husband.

When you were on/off, were the problems related to his drinking and exes? Unfortunately marriage won't change things. If you have more assets, be very careful.

It confusing because he wants it to be. Cheating outside a relationship is usually covert.

It seems he likes head games, women, drinking but also the security of family life.

We have been together for 5 years before that dating on and off since I was 21 now 27. I just don't understand the need for it and the fact it's a fake Facebook why not just have a Facebook with ur photos on it just confusing

By the whole "we had on and off relationship" thing I guess his behavior is not something new.

People do make mistakes, but once you "screw up" you stop doing that. You only touch hot stove once. Unless there is something wrong with you and you keep putting your fingers on hot stove.

People dont change their nature. Never.

What you should do is leave him and really question your choices.

But judging by what you wrote here,this wont happen. Either you'll go running back to him and then come back here asking the same questions few months later. Or you'll go for another person like him and things will roll in the same way again.

Don't marry this guy he's not husband material. Just a manipulative cheater .