What is my ex doing?!

I will try to make it as brief for you guys as possible!!

We had been together for 3 years and 7 months. the first 3 years we were long distance, then I moved to Denmark.

The moment I moved here, things started going downhill. I was struggling with depression and an eating disorder, and started leaning on him way too much. He's a guy who wants a woman who knows her values, is independent and has goals in life. I was anything but that, I had changed completely.

He stuck with me for 7 months (through constant drama and arguments), but decided to break up a few days ago. I had been doing a lot better when that happened. I wasn't needy, clingy or anything. He said he can't see us together right now. I made the mistake to burst out crying and start begging. He started crying with me. He was hugging me, holding my hand and even kissing me. And those kisses were so sweet and loving. But eventually, I simply told him to be happy, find someone better and not forget about me. I let him go.

I decided to simply stop texting him after the break up. But, less than 24h later, he texts me, saying how he feels horrible and cries. He says he wants to keep talking to me and that he's sorry for the pain he has caused me and that he wants to see me before I leave Denmark, to go back home for a few months so I can heal. He even said he misses "seeing my name on his phone's screen", he NEVER said anything like that while I was here. It was a freaking essay he wrote me. Before the break up, he never texted me and was distant as hell. He never even said anything nice to me.

I replied, saying that I won't contact him as much anymore, that I'm moving on. I also added that if he wanted to, he could visit me in Estonia in a month, so we could talk things through, and maybe make up for the messy break up by spending nice time together.

He was so happy I responded. He told me, again, how he feels horrible and what not, but that it helps that I'm doing better (?). He said he'd love to meet me in Estonia, asked me for how long (one day/weekend/week), and also added he'd like to stay for a week, because he wants to spend time with me, he sounded really happy about it. And again asked if he could see me before I fly home. Then he thanked me for messaging him.

We set our dates (I simply agreed with the week) and I politely told him I'd rather not see him right now. He said he understood, and that I can just tell him if I didn't want him to write. I didn't reply.

Ca 24 hours later, he checked my Snapchat and saw a picture in my story with my hand wrapped up in bandages (I got hurt and was bragging about it, duh). Immediately after, he texts me, asking what's happened, and also adds in our "inside jokes" to the message.. Though usually he just waits for me to tell if something's happened.

I haven't replied and I don't know if I will.

I really don't understand what's happening?! He's never been so nice and friendly, he hasn't actually shown up interest like that in a long time. What is he doing?! He just dumped me.

(He also keeps coming online on WhatsApp to check if I've replied/seen his messages, I'm the only person he has there, if that matters..)

*He has left me before for the same reason - I became clingy and started whining about everything, though he came back once I didn't need him anymore, ca 6 months after the break up*

Sorry this happened. It sounds like he feels guilty that you went there and things didn't work out.

It would be best to stay no contact and delete and block him rather than get into any on/off games. You have tried everything enough times and long enough to know that things don't work. Why not start fresh in your home country?

then I moved to Denmark.The moment I moved here, things started going downhill. decided to break up a few days ago.He said he'd love to meet me in Estonia. We set our dates (I simply agreed with the week) and I politely told him I'd rather not see him right now. He has left me before for the same reason - I became clingy and started whining about everything, though he came back once I didn't need him anymore.

Sorry this happened. It sounds like he feels guilty that you went there and things didn't work out.

 

It would be best to stay no contact and delete and block him rather than get into any on/off games. You have tried everything enough times and long enough to know that things don't work. Why not start fresh in your home country?

I don't have "that feeling" that it's over, for some reason. I've gotten my thoughts and emotions under control, I'm moving on and it's not hurting as much. But I still don't have "that feeling", I have no idea how to describe it for you.

I'm not going to talk to him for a few weeks, until we meet up. I guess I'll get my questions answered then.

I try to take one day at a time, but thinking about the future still scares me, in a way. Which is why I came here, to hear what different people have to say about my situation. Thank you so much for replying!

It's simply the fact that he only realizes the importance of someone when they are gone. You change in a positive way : You let him go and "wish" him be happy, find someone better and not to forget about you, which mean you become strong and independant. And that's what hit him on the head

And now his mom is emailing me, making sure to tell me in each email that I have to move on and how we don't "match"?! What the hell.

It's fine that she tells me to move on, but this is becoming bizarre. I know she's someone very manipulative and it could easily be that she wants me gone. But maybe I'm wrong. Should I even let her get to me?

Weird. Block and delete her. Why is his mother doing his talking for him? Ask him to ask her to stop contacting you.

And now his mom is emailing me, making sure to tell me in each email that I have to move on and how we don't "match"?!