Confused about my feelings for her.

I've known her for four months and we dated on-and-off all the while. I have no idea what I feel for her and it's killing me. We're currently "off" and all I can do is think about her. Everything about her from her scent to her voice to her facial expressions. Some songs just instantly remind me of her and I will spend that entire song daydreaming about everything she is. I dream of her every night. The idea of her not being in my life makes me cry (and I don't cry often). Yet... I don't think I have feelings for her.

We'd only known each other for 2 weeks before we got together, and we were sleeping together for one of them. It was just supposed to be stringless sex (and she wasn't the only one) but something just told me I needed to be with her. I still can't explain what that "something" was. From the day we met we both admitted to feeling a mutual "connection" of some sort but that's all there was.

She was vastly different from my other "buddies". I was used to stereotypical "sl*tty" women but she was so modest and sweet and different. She'd only been sexually active with one other guy (a long term boyfriend) and was obviously inexperienced but the sex was still great. I enjoyed her company and she seemed to really enjoy mine. She was and is so special to me.

So why can't I feel for her? I've been in love and the heartbreaks were immense and damaging. Maybe I've built up a wall? I don't mean to add a sob story but I didn't exactly have the best upbringing and never really felt love growing up. I was still able to fall in love with other girls despite this though... why not her? Do I love her though? Like I said, she's all I think about. I've done so much for her and care about her a lot but there's no spark at all. Throughout our relationship I found myself wanting to sleep with sl*tty girls and whenever she broke up with me, I did. She is the only woman I can see myself with though.

I didn't mention that throughout our relationship she admitted multiple times to not knowing if she actually had feelings for me. This may have had something to do with my feelings but they were always mutual so it never affected me much. But I could never get her off of my mind.

What is this? How could I not love someone I care about so much? Why do I feel the way I do? I want her to be mine but at the same time I want her to find someone who knows that he loves her. I want the best for her. But I don't want to be with anyone else.

How old is she? Since it started out as no strings maybe neither of you want a relationship? Also it seems more like fwb with a lot of attraction and chemistry.

It also seems like she's not your type sexually but as a fwb you enjoy her company...maybe you don't want to catch feeling for anyone right now?

You don't want relationships and that's fine as long as you just hook up with sleazy girls or don't string her along with on/off and confuse her.

I've known her for four months and we dated on-and-off all the while. It was just supposed to be stringless sex but something just told me I needed to be with her. So why can't I feel for her? Throughout our relationship I found myself wanting to sleep with sl*tty girls and whenever she broke up with me, I did.

Your post answers your own question, because it sounds to me like you do love her and are afraid of getting hurt by someone who could destroy you. Handing someone the entirety of your heart can be the best or worst thing, depending on the outcome. You do love her, but maybe it is on a more emotional level rather than physical and that is why it's hard for you to distinguish. Sometimes it's hard to tell when the real thing happens, because of all the people in the past who we thought were the real thing and they were not. This is quite possibly the first time you ever loved a women and you don't see it, because you distinguish love by how you felt about others. Don't be afraid and go for it.

How old is she? Since it started out as no strings maybe neither of you want a relationship? Also it seems more like fwb with a lot of attraction and chemistry.

 

It also seems like she's not your type sexually but as a fwb you enjoy her company...maybe you don't want to catch feeling for anyone right now?

 

You don't want relationships and that's fine as long as you just hook up with sleazy girls or don't string her along with on/off and confuse her.

We're both 21. Yes she's definitely not my sexual type. I don't know, I caught something for her, it may have not been feelings but it was something. Thanks.

Your post answers your own question, because it sounds to me like you do love her and are afraid of getting hurt by someone who could destroy you. Handing someone the entirety of your heart can be the best or worst thing, depending on the outcome. You do love her, but maybe it is on a more emotional level rather than physical and that is why it's hard for you to distinguish. Sometimes it's hard to tell when the real thing happens, because of all the people in the past who we thought were the real thing and they were not. This is quite possibly the first time you ever loved a women and you don't see it, because you distinguish love by how you felt about others. Don't be afraid and go for it.

But the thing is, she broke up with me and I'm not destroyed or even that hurt. I can't stop thinking about her and want her back but I don't feel that intense horrible heartbreak that I felt with my other girlfriends. I don't think this is love.

But the thing is, she broke up with me and I'm not destroyed or even that hurt. I can't stop thinking about her and want her back but I don't feel that intense horrible heartbreak that I felt with my other girlfriends. I don't think this is love.

Are you usually the dumper or dumpee? This could be you obsessing over a girl, because she left you.

The dumpee. So I don't think it's that. Our breakup was pretty mutual though.

It's her personality that has you in a head lock. Also, I sense you're not big on commitment, because of the past heartbreak. Maybe you miss hanging out with someone who is down to earth compared to the other sl***. I'm sorry you got dumped, but perhaps she wanted more and was so confused, because you like to sleep around and didn't want that.

I've known her for four months and we dated on-and-off all the while. I have no idea what I feel for her and it's killing me. We're currently "off" and all I can do is think about her. Everything about her from her scent to her voice to her facial expressions. Some songs just instantly remind me of her and I will spend that entire song daydreaming about everything she is. I dream of her every night. The idea of her not being in my life makes me cry (and I don't cry often). Yet... I don't think I have feelings for her.

 

We'd only known each other for 2 weeks before we got together, and we were sleeping together for one of them. It was just supposed to be stringless sex (and she wasn't the only one) but something just told me I needed to be with her. I still can't explain what that "something" was. From the day we met we both admitted to feeling a mutual "connection" of some sort but that's all there was.

 

She was vastly different from my other "buddies". I was used to stereotypical "sl*tty" women but she was so modest and sweet and different. She'd only been sexually active with one other guy (a long term boyfriend) and was obviously inexperienced but the sex was still great. I enjoyed her company and she seemed to really enjoy mine. She was and is so special to me.

 

So why can't I feel for her? I've been in love and the heartbreaks were immense and damaging. Maybe I've built up a wall? I don't mean to add a sob story but I didn't exactly have the best upbringing and never really felt love growing up. I was still able to fall in love with other girls despite this though... why not her? Do I love her though? Like I said, she's all I think about. I've done so much for her and care about her a lot but there's no spark at all. Throughout our relationship I found myself wanting to sleep with sl*tty girls and whenever she broke up with me, I did. She is the only woman I can see myself with though.

 

I didn't mention that throughout our relationship she admitted multiple times to not knowing if she actually had feelings for me. This may have had something to do with my feelings but they were always mutual so it never affected me much. But I could never get her off of my mind.

 

What is this? How could I not love someone I care about so much? Why do I feel the way I do? I want her to be mine but at the same time I want her to find someone who knows that he loves her. I want the best for her. But I don't want to be with anyone else.

This isn't really advice more like I know how you feel. I'm experiencing the same thing. I'm ok with him being with other girls I don't get jealous what so ever. As long as his happy I'm happy. I genuinely love everything about him. It's just so weird knowing you like everything about this person person but have no interest in dating them. But there on your mind constantly. I'm starting to think after reading your post it has to do with the fact that's it's because they are also sleeping around with others so we're not putting our full emotional interest into them. Because if we do we just know how's it's going to end so might as well keep it casual.