He's messaged a mutual friend last night

This man is overweight and not that attractive. I told him to stop messaging me because I wanted the chance to move on & he was starting new email accounts to get through to me, what's app messages off other people's accounts etc.

I've met a mutual friend yesterday for coffee for the first time since I split with my ex 3 months ago.

He'd obviously been messaging my ex, who asked him what he was up too. He said 'I'm with (me), we're having coffee', my ex asked how I was, my friend said 'she's good, ask her yourself, you're still friends right?' His reply -

"We are friends but don't exactly chat on a daily basis as she can't/doesn't want to as she can't handle it."

This has REALLY annoyed me. He's said a couple of things in the last few messages we sent saying 'I don't think I can tell you what you want to hear', so I replied with 'I'm not sure what you think I want to hear!' I asked him to leave me alone so I could move on. I was tempted to message him and say I don't know what he thinks I want, but it's not him anymore. But that's now passed. I'm 9 days with real NC. I'm not ruining that.

i don't know whether it's because i've just gotten up or there's some real confusion in the post, but i'm afraid i don't understand which person is bothering you, this friend guy using other people's accounts to get to you (if so that's so creepy, and i would not have coffee with him), or your ex?

i think as far as your ex goes you need to stop talking to your friends about him. it's natural he will talk to other people and present his view. there is no need for you to follow that. it sounds like you both want to have the last word about who wants whom less-- how UNinterested does that sound to you?

you really want to irk him with how much you don't care-- pretend he doesn't exist.

if your friends mention him go "wh...? oh, my ex....*sigh* i don't know why you guys are still talking about that, i don't think about it, why do you? can we drop it, it's so last year. hey, anyone watching ENTER NEW SERIES?"

There are two or three different people in your post, all of whom are being referred to as "he".

Can you be more specific? Taking a moment to put a little bit of thought into your posts will make them MUCH more readable, and more people will be able to (hopefully) help you.

yeah i don't get that either. i thought my coffee just hasn't kicked in yet.

Sorry, my anxiety is hell today, so obviously didn't read as I intended it too. Death of my mom's friend started it off. I'll redo it here, better ....

I asked my ex to stop messaging me a few weeks ago because I wanted the chance to move on. He'd previously started new email accounts to get through to me, what's app messages off other people's accounts etc as I'd blocked him.

I've just met a (gay) mutual friend for coffee for the first time since I split with my ex 3 months ago.

My friend had obviously messaged my ex before meeting me. My ex asked my friend what he was up too. My friend replied & said 'I'm with (me), we're having coffee', my ex asked how I was, my friend said 'she's good, ask her yourself, you're still friends right?' His reply which properly cheered a bad morning up for me said -

"We are friends but don't exactly chat on a daily basis as she can't/doesn't want to as she can't handle it'

This has REALLY annoyed me. My ex said a couple of things in the last few messages we sent saying 'I don't think I can tell you what you want to hear', (i.e. He thinks I want to get back together) so I replied with 'I'm not sure what you think I want to hear!'

I was tempted to message my ex after reading that on my friends phone and say I don't know what he thinks I want, but it's not him anymore. But that's now passed. I'm 9 days with real NC. I'm not ruining that.

Who is "overweight and not that attractive"?

thank you for clarifying. if multiple friends feed info about him to you and vice versa, i would sit them down and tell them i've had to do a lot of blocking to make myself unavailable to my ex because his constant texts were unpleasant, and that i would appreciate if he were left out of our mutual conversations.

if it's just this one guy, i would likewise tell him i do not wish to speak to my ex, not personally not by proxy and that i would appreciate if he didn't bring him up. if they're really close friends who communicate regularly and it's too much to know they're talking about you, cool things off with this friend to a comfortable degree.

again, don't get into the who doesn't want who argument. it's a simple power struggle, it bears zero proof that either matters to the other, but rather that each needs a higher ego position. let him make an immature fool of himself.