Watch out for your ex showing up at your door unexpectantly

I got caught off guard the other day. She texted when would be a good time to come get her mail in the garage. I said tomorrow is fine.

I was planing on leaving the house all day- to avoid seeing her (only 21 days of NC and wanted to go 60+). I got woken up at 9am by a knock on the door and there she was. I was not cleaned-up (either was she though) and wanted to be more put together if we ever did meet again. Dressed nicely you know. It had been 3 weeks and I have been working out non stop and dressing nicely and wanted to show everyone, including her that I am going onwards and upwards and she doesn't matter anymore.

We had a nice friendly conversation in the kitchen about TG and family, but I had to cut it off after 15 mins and asked for her house keys back. Then she tells me she still has the copies that I made her long time ago and she will use those to get the mail still. I was trying to be blunt without offending that you need to give me the keys and not come over anymore. But part of me didn't want to be that mean and part of me wanted to leave the door open to her (I know bad idea). She might only be coming over bc she is waiting for an important check in the mail. But why did she knock and want to come in then?

Anyhow, watch out for getting caught off guard. I should have set a time for her to come so that I would have been gone. The contact messed with my head. The whole night I remembered her more and started to tell myself how much I liked her and how to get her back. The day before I was in a very different state of mind.

You need to be blunt. Change the locks and forward her mail. She is holding out on you to mess with your head. Also, she does not need to enter the house to get her mail. You can leave it in the mailbox and she can get it that way. If you think she'll go through yours, tell her to pick it up on a sunday and don't be home. Just have all of her mail in the box

Agree. Just showing up is creepy. What if you start dating again?

Tell her to go to the local USPS and fill out a mail forwarding form. Change your locks.

asked for her house keys back. Then she tells me she still has the copies that I made her long time ago and she will use those to get the mail still. I was trying to be blunt without offending that you need to give me the keys and not come over anymore.

Thanks guys. Ya I told her I would leave the mail in the garage with a few of her boxes. I don't plan to date for a few months so, that part isn't an issue. What is an issue is that I only want to portray myself in the good light to the ex. And getting caught off guard didn't help with that.

I don't want to get to the point where I sounded upset or jaded. I have been a polite gentlemen through this entire process and want to remain so.

SO, I left her a note in the garage to leave the keys she has and please have her mail forwarded. I'm sure she will be back in a few days and get the point.

Thanks guys. Ya I told her I would leave the mail in the garage with a few of her boxes. I don't plan to date for a few months so, that part isn't an issue. What is an issue is that I only want to portray myself in the good light to the ex. And getting caught off guard didn't help with that.

 

I don't want to get to the point where I sounded upset or jaded. I have been a polite gentlemen through this entire process and want to remain so.

 

 

SO, I left her a note in the garage to leave the keys she has and please have her mail forwarded. I'm sure she will be back in a few days and get the point.

How can she get into the garage without the door opener? It does not matter if you are upset or jaded at this point. She has overstepped her bounds and the only thing you need to portray is that its over and you have boundaries - she no longer has access to you.

How can she get into the garage without the door opener? It does not matter if you are upset or jaded at this point. She has overstepped her bounds and the only thing you need to portray is that its over and you have boundaries - she no longer has access to you.

There's a side door to the garage. So no need to come into house or a garage opener. I thought that was a good option so she could get what she needs and I don't have to see her and she won't come inside. But obviously she wanted to see me last time bc she made an effort to come knocking and hand me the garage opener and talk. She didn't need to do that.

Anyhow. She contacted me again to see if there was mail. I said yes burn didn't respond otherwise. There's still a note there that says to leave the keys and forward your mail.

It is so hard not to start a conversation or to not want to see her. It really is. I miss her or the idea of her and a gf tons! Everywhere I look there are couples during the holiday season. And I have no one special. Just my family. Working hard to improve my fitness and be strong emotionally.

Went out with a few girls last week. Had fun, but they weren't my type and they were a mess inside and still upset about ex's from over a year ago. At least I had some fun seeing the other side (women).