Bad with arguments

I've had this habit for a long time. Back when I was younger whenever someone wants to talk with me about some topic I'd most likely avoid I have trouble finding the right words, I have trouble expressing myself, telling what I really mean, what I really want. But the truth is sometimes, I don't even really know what I want, or what I want to say because I'm so used to avoiding and leaving those kinds of conversations that include arguments and some more serious topics.

This is something that troubles me in relationships. It just got to my mind that my communication sucks. It can't be the pressure, because I'm feeling very calm around girls and I look really confident, but sooner or later things can get more serious and sometimes messy and that requires good communication, not avoiding and putting stuff under the rug.

I could use some advice here

I've always been bad at confrontation and conflict in general too. It's not necessarily a bad trait, it means you don't like arguments. However, I too get annoyed at myself for it affecting my ability to communicate my needs sometimes. I think the best thing to do is just take baby steps with it, try saying what you want better to shop assistants, friends, colleagues and partners in relation to little things like food, what you want to do, opinions..then it will just build your confidence with speaking your mind and you'll see it's not so scary. In fact a lot of people find it annoying when someone isn't clear on what they want, cause it makes them have to guess etc. I started doing what I've suggested above a bit and it does help, you've just gotta give yourself time to think about what you want to reply sometimes, cause if you're like me you jump to saying "whatever you thinks best" really quickly.

I think the best thing to do is just take baby steps with it, try saying what you want better to shop assistants, friends, colleagues and partners in relation to little things like food, what you want to do, opinions..then it will just build your confidence with speaking your mind and you'll see it's not so scary.

Gotta keep this in my mind throughout the day

I consider it an incredibly rare gift to find someone, even a partner, whom you can on-the-spot have a constructive argument with. Time can only ever be a benefit when it comes down to organizing your thoughts, figuring out what it is that's actually bothering you, and putting together how best to word it an inoffensive manner.

Time can only ever be a benefit when it comes down to organizing your thoughts, figuring out what it is that's actually bothering you, and putting together how best to word it an inoffensive manner.

I guess this is it. I haven't really developed a habit of how to word my thoughts and what I'm feeling. I just think that I'll figure it out at the moment of talking

"That's an interesting opinion. I have to give that some thought to know how to respond properly". Or "I'm not sure I agree with that but that's an interesting perspective".