feeling depressed afer a defeat

I have never experienced a major failure as this ( I FAILED A YEAR IN COLLEGE T-T ) ,I just can't accept it . It never happened I was always the top of my class , so I couldn't accept that horrifying fact .so I'm trying to pretend that my year was just expended due to some administration problems which is obviously a lie to consult me( will that help me or it will make it worse? ).

this year I need to try harder but depressing is killing me, I can't concentrate , I can't look at my books any more .

not only that but I feel defeated , I have my younger brother studying with me but after what happened ,after I lost, it's like I lost my "first born" title ,and it's such a shame . my brother and I had this friendly competition for who is getting the best grade , what hurts is that I never felt relieved or happy if I won the competition because I though it was merely a silly joke between us, but now that he won ,he rarely talks to me and stopped coming in to my room to bother me ;he used to come and annoy me endlessly in my room but now none ; I mean I probably shouldn't complain about that but it feels like he's now above me and doesn't need to a failure like me .and this though is tiring me apart .

I researched about how to overcome my depression and some how I found this site , so I really hope I can get an advice or two ,I will be seriously grateful , and thank you.

Be your own benchmark. Always strive to beat your own personal best. It doesn't matter how or what others are doing what matters is your own sense of achievement and setting and reaching the goals you want.

If you want to learn how to ride a horse, you are going to get on the horse....and then you are going to fall off ,aka fail,.....a lot...like a lot a lot.... Only way you are going to win is get up every single time and get back in that saddle, over and over and over again. Losing isn't the fact that you fall off, you only lose when you quit and walk away.

The above applies to everything you do in life. Work, school, etc. Failing your classes is a wake up call that you need to do something differently from what you were doing before. Things change, you need to adjust. You haven't failed yet. Only way you will fail is if you give up, allow one defeat to destroy you and never get back in the saddle. That would be failure.

Right now, you need to focus on how to fix what went wrong. Go see tutors, talk to your professors, get help and different perspectives, try different things. Quit the fake competition with your brother and get some real study buddies who actually help you get ahead and understand and master the subject matter. That part is not a competition, it's a collaboration. Figure out where you went wrong because that's how winners actually win the war. Don't worry about one battle. You will lose some battles in life and that's just how it it. You've got to accept that and always treat that as a learning opportunity. Only losers wallow and quit and you aren't that. Make no mistake that losing even a single small battle sucks, but get mad about it, get energized, promise yourself that you won't make the same errors again and lose on the same basis and roll up your sleeves and go kick some rear.

thanks for that both " Wiseman2" and "DancingFool " ; it really means a lot

I will definitely not give up and this time I will try even harder because I REALLY want to achieve my goal .

THANK AGAIN for taking the time to read and reply , I needed that

thanks for that both " Wiseman2" and "DancingFool " ; it really means a lot

I will definitely not give up and this time I will try even harder because I REALLY want to achieve my goal .

THANK AGAIN for taking the time to read and reply , I needed that

 

You are welcome.

Also harder is good, but seriously look back at what went wrong. Don't keep doing the same thing because sometimes it's not about the hours put into studying, but the technique/approach to it. Also, there is such a thing as overkill. You study so much that you end up overthinking simple questions, and therefore end up getting the wrong answers. Seriously go talk to the professors, take a good look at the exams that you had failed and understand what went wrong. The profs will actually be happy to work with you and help you sort it out and see any patterns/issues. As my trainer loves to yell at us, "It ain't working...dooooo something different. Fiiiix it!!!!"

I like to use the comparison, look at babies who are just learning to walk. How many times do they fall down? And what do they do? They just get back up and try again. They might cry a little bit, but they still get back up!

Think of where you'd be right now if you'd given up when you were learning to walk just because you fell down a few times.

Everyone falls sometimes. I've been fired from two jobs, one that I actually liked and thought I was doing a good job. But I didn't cry. I just decided I'd find a better job and that the company would regret losing me. Well, I went to work for their direct competitors (ha!) and was told later on that my supervisor was exclaiming almost every day "explain to me why we fired boltnrun! Because I don't get it!"

You can and you will get it done and you will succeed. And I say that because you say you want to, so I believe you will.

And depression is a medical condition that requires a doctor's treatment. Don't be ashamed to see a doctor and explain you need treatment. You wouldn't be ashamed if you had the flu and needed treatment, would you??

I failed out of school my first time around bud. I should have gone to CC, but I didnt. I moved into the dorms and partied like a nut and got the boot. I went to the CC and got good grades and kept my partying to a minimum and got back into the U and graduated. Now I have been employed full time for almost 5 years and I just applied and got accepted to grad school. Keep your head up and stay focused, you'll get to where you want to be if you put in the effort. Dont get too down on yourself you'll come back stronger.