The pain is unbearable

I have posted here so much about my break up but I have these moments where I just cannot get up. He called today to tell me he was in another state on vacation. Made sure to send pictures as well and to repeat what he has been saying for weeks. That he wants me gone and out of his life and wants to move on. That he would rather be with someone else with no history.

It was a toxic relationship.

What hurts is that my mind wonders and now I keep thinking he might be with someone else. When I ask him he neither accepts or denies it just says it's none of my business anymore.

Why can he let go and I can't? I am so desperate and attached. I have gone as far as begging him at one point.

I just don't know why it's so hard for me.

I have an exam coming up and I might fail because the pain is crippling me. And he talked to me so it started again.

Why haven't you blocked him?

Do you hold some kind of hope that he will come back to you and start being nice or something?

Stop talking to him Chori you will never heal this way

I think if he had really let go, he wouldn't be contacting you. Apparently breaking up with you wasn't enough for him -- he wants you to feel the weight of your loss. He wants to play games with you, and he wants to win.

Block his number and pick yourself up off the floor. The person who once brought you joy will bring you joy no more. He's too busy trying to even the score.

You are trapped by your pain, but you hold the key that can open the door. Beautiful, beautiful things are in store beyond the madness of love and war.

He doesn't deserve you, and he never did. Real love never turns to hate. He was always only in it to take, calling it love without knowing what love even is.

Breathe. Smile. Laugh. You've been dealt a bitter blow, but there's someone out there for you. Perhaps he's closer than you know. Someone who will honor and adore you, someone who will find your kisses intoxicating and who will fall asleep with your name on his lips. Someone who will dream about you whether he's awake or asleep, someone who will remain true and never, ever hurt you.

Your loneliness is only a prelude to the life you have yet to live. Take the time you need to grieve, but remember this: the sun will rise on your long night of loss, and your world will be filled with light.

Choriiii don't do this to yourself. Stop thinking about what's he up to, or how's he dealing with a breakup, or what's he thinking about. That's only going to make you to overthink and will make you feel even worst. I get it, the pain after a breakup is huge, show some self-respect and start no contact right now. No more showing him that you're desperate and definatelly no begging him anything. You don't want him to come back cause he feels pitty for you? No more texting, calling, stalking on social media. I already gave you a suggestion on what you should do now. You're not thinking clear right now, give it some time and then you'll feel better and will see things much more better which will help you make some conclusions

The pain is really unbearable and the depression is eating at me. I just keep thinking of all the bad things in my life and it's eating me alive.

I want him back. He's a horrible person but I don't know why I want him to come back and hold me and say it's going to be alright.

I really want to stop feeling this way. I feel as if I am paralyzed and that life is empty.

It's only been a few days that I kept NC before we just broke it again but every single day feels like a week.

I'm hurting so bad guys. It's killing me inside.

I know it's hard to concentrate on anything right now. I know there are so many things on your mind right now about the breakup. The pain won't go away through the night. Don't make a mistake such as contacting him and telling him how much you feel desperate. I'll tell you this one more time: the sinking feeling WILL GO AWAY. Your mind is now in a panic mode of losing him and will try and make you do anything to bring him back like nothing else matters, but I told you, give yourself some time so you can start thinking clearly.

I know it's hard to concentrate on anything right now. I know there are so many things on your mind right now about the breakup. The pain won't go away through the night. Don't make a mistake such as contacting him and telling him how much you feel desperate. I'll tell you this one more time: the sinking feeling WILL GO AWAY. Your mind is now in a panic mode of losing him and will try and make you do anything to bring him back like nothing else matters, but I told you, give yourself some time so you can start thinking clearly.

I know this is a difficult question to answer but do you have an idea of a time frame?

I did mark his emails as junk so he would not spring anymore emails on me but I keep refreshing my junk mail now.

I also did what you said about writing about my pain.

I'm just afraid I will in fact call him and show how desperate I am just to stop this feeling.

I know this is a difficult question to answer but do you have an idea of a time frame?

I did mark his emails as junk so he would not spring anymore emails on me but I keep refreshing my junk mail now.

I also did what you said about writing about my pain.

I'm just afraid I will in fact call him and show how desperate I am just to stop this feeling.

It really depends on the type of breakup you had, but let's say a minimum of 20 days. The sooner you start the healing the better. No Contact is like breaking an addiction to your ex. You have to learn to live without him. Be your own best friend and take care of yourself because no one else will do it for you. No contact is the time to make yourself a happy and confident person. Ofc, If you just sit around all day watching TV and eating ice cream, you are not going to feel better about yourself.

It really depends on the type of breakup you had, but let's say a minimum of 20 days. The sooner you start the healing the better. No Contact is like breaking an addiction to your ex. You have to learn to live without him. Be your own best friend and take care of yourself because no one else will do it for you. No contact is the time to make yourself a happy and confident person. Ofc, If you just sit around all day watching TV and eating ice cream, you are not going to feel better about yourself.

Thank you brutal555

It hurts a lot right now. As of now I will have to hold off on all social aspects of my life and really focus on my entrance exam for nursing school. I have been crying for days neither studying not giving myself anytime to really improve on myself.

I do appreciate your words. I reread them whenever I feel this way. It's nice to know that I have some support and that I can get through this.

Just need to stop giving into the feelings

It's the fear that he is gone now forever and he will never be coming back.

I think that's what scares/ hurts me the most.

I just keep questioning why he even indulges in the contact such as sending emails and pics of where he is. Or picking up the phone to ask if I have a BF. Then to say that he wants nothing to do with me.

It's as if he gives me some hope then stabs my heart.

Because you let him.

Stop calling him, stop reading his emails, stop emailing him. He doesn't want to come back and be good to you, he's enjoying watching you pine over him.

It's the fear that he is gone now forever and he will never be coming back.

I think that's what scares/ hurts me the most.

 

I just keep questioning why he even indulges in the contact such as sending emails and pics of where he is. Or picking up the phone to ask if I have a BF. Then to say that he wants nothing to do with me.

It's as if he gives me some hope then stabs my heart.

Have self-respect, do yourself a favor and stop answering his texts or calls. Just stop. The feeling of losing him forever, I already told you, that's just your mind in a panic mode right now and your instincts are telling you to answer his calls, to text him, to beg him... But you're better than that and you know it. Just give it some time. He calls you? Feel free to hit that "ignore" button no matter how hard it is

Chori... He calls you because he has already 'friended' you. In his mind the relationship is over and no, he is not coming back. He contacts you to make sure you are okay, he asks you if you are dating or have a boyfriend so he knows that you are okay. Its not about games or setting up a way to come back to you. He knows if he wants to come back to you, there is nothing to set up...he just has to call you.

This pain you are feeling is hope. There is nothing wrong with hope as long as it doesnt run your life. In your mind you have to accept that its over. You must face and accept the harsh reality that youll never kiss him, hold his hand, or cuddle in bed again. Once you accept that its over, then you can begin to heal.

As you see, the more you two communicate the more pain you feel. So how do you stop this pain? Dont talk to him. How do we find the strength to tell him to stop calling or texting you? Accept that its over.

You can do this.. you are okay..

Because you let him.

 

Stop calling him, stop reading his emails, stop emailing him. He doesn't want to come back and be good to you, he's enjoying watching you pine over him.

I'll second that. You have given this guy wayyyyyyy too much power over you. He now controls your emotions even when he is not around. You let him do this and you can make him stop. You need to stop beating yourself down, wearing yourself out etc, over this guy. He is probably loving the fact that you are crazy about him and he can sit back not feel that way.. and not really caring either.

But I would say its more to do with you cannot believe someone who had such feeling for you just stopped. I get that, a lot of people have been there. But Ive read a lot of your other posts etc and I see a guy who isn't worth persuing. You are trying with all your strength to hold a dead horse up over your head. For how long? Let him go and have a happy life without him. You don't need a guy to make or complete your personal happiness.

 

He's a horrible person

 

I feel as if I am paralyzed and that life is empty.

As for you: you have build a life around him. All your happiness is surrounded in him. Why? Did you have anything that made you happy, at peace, relaxed, warm etc before he came along and stole it from you??......

Darling, take back what is yours. If you feel empty without him, its cause he took what wasn't his and is still keeping it to himself. From the sound of things, after reading your other posts and replys, it sounds like this guy is sitting back with an evil smile enjoying watching you in pain over him. Like a power thing. Thats why he keeps stringing you along with messages and comments etc. If he wanted you out 100% you would not be able to talk to him. He does not want to get back together, he just wants a litttttle conact. Just enough to see you cry.

Cut this guy out of your life. Don't give him the benefit of seeing another tear or getting one more word from you. I agree with you: He a horrible person.

As for you: you have build a life around him. All your happiness is surrounded in him. Why? Did you have anything that made you happy, at peace, relaxed, warm etc before he came along and stole it from you??......

 

Darling, take back what is yours. If you feel empty without him, its cause he took what wasn't his and is still keeping it to himself. From the sound of things, after reading your other posts and replys, it sounds like this guy is sitting back with an evil smile enjoying watching you in pain over him. Like a power thing. Thats why he keeps stringing you along with messages and comments etc. If he wanted you out 100% you would not be able to talk to him. He does not want to get back together, he just wants a litttttle conact. Just enough to see you cry.

 

Cut this guy out of your life. Don't give him the benefit of seeing another tear or getting one more word from you. I agree with you: He a horrible person.

I think that's my biggest issue. It has been so long that I have no idea what makes me happy or at peace. Everything I ever did. All new experiences, fun moments etc were all with him or because he would put in the effort to go new places and try new things. Before I met him I was really depressed and stuck to myself. He showed me a new world.

The thing is I have never done anything alone. It's only been with this person. Going to a museum, park, a new restaurant etc all were because he would take me.

It's why I am afraid to go places alone and experience those exact things without him.

As for friends, I do have but many are now busy with gradschool. It's why this is more difficult than it should be.

You should never let your happiness depend on just one person or just one thing. Find what makes feel good and excited.

You can't go back to the "old self" now just because he ain't around. Don't let the fear stop you. Live in the moment and do what frightens you. And remember: everything you're afraid to do is carrying some of your power.

Do I go back because I have a false idea in my head that I need him for my happiness?

Will time away help me realize that that is not the case?

Do I go back because I have a false idea in my head that I need him for my happiness?

Will time away help me realize that that is not the case?

As I said, again, If you just lay around doing nothing, that's not gonna help. You need to learn to enjoy your life without your ex and you will eventually realise that you don't actually need him to be happy. There is a big difference between needing something and wanting something Happiness and confidence is something that you can get by working on yourself.

As I said, again, If you just lay around doing nothing, that's not gonna help. You need to learn to enjoy your life without your ex and you will eventually realise that you don't actually need him to be happy. There is a big difference between needing something and wanting something Happiness and confidence is something that you can get by working on yourself.

Brutal555 I need your advice. And anyone else's on this forum.

I recently discovered that my ex is actually homeless. A few days ago he stopped being so angry and after pressing he finally admitted that he left his emotionally abusive home.

I am not sure if he is nice because of his current situation but I am confused whether or not I should be there for him. Just a month ago before all of this he was horrible to me. And now he is the complete opposite.

Do I help him? Do I talk to him?

I feel so bad for him. I feel guilty and it hurts me knowing how bad his current situation is.

No, dont help him. its that simple

Yes, he is being nice because he wants a free place to live and free food, and he knows he can sucker you into providing for him.

And I bet if you let him move in you'll find out he's "talking to" other girls. Oh, and he'll be rude to you too.

Just do not do it.

I think if he had really let go, he wouldn't be contacting you. Apparently breaking up with you wasn't enough for him -- he wants you to feel the weight of your loss. He wants to play games with you, and he wants to win.

 

Block his number and pick yourself up off the floor. The person who once brought you joy will bring you joy no more. He's too busy trying to even the score.

 

You are trapped by your pain, but you hold the key that can open the door. Beautiful, beautiful things are in store beyond the madness of love and war.

 

He doesn't deserve you, and he never did. Real love never turns to hate. He was always only in it to take, calling it love without knowing what love even is.

 

Breathe. Smile. Laugh. You've been dealt a bitter blow, but there's someone out there for you. Perhaps he's closer than you know. Someone who will honor and adore you, someone who will find your kisses intoxicating and who will fall asleep with your name on his lips. Someone who will dream about you whether he's awake or asleep, someone who will remain true and never, ever hurt you.

 

Your loneliness is only a prelude to the life you have yet to live. Take the time you need to grieve, but remember this: the sun will rise on your long night of loss, and your world will be filled with light.

I needed this right now. Thank you

Back then, I tried LC just with hopes to be able to rekindle things but ended up being strung on for another 2 years and facing the most painful heartbreak seeing her marry someone else who already had a wife and kid. Experiencing stuff like yours, like what most others suggested I just totally go cold turkey and never ever initiated contact with her again.

Now I am here to tell you, that things will get better.