Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: My boyfriend wants me to pay for him. Advice?

  1. #1
    Sparky66

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Age
    18
    Posts
    1
    Gender
    Female

    My boyfriend wants me to pay for him. Advice?

    Yesterday, my boyfriend asked me to pay for his food (chicken from Chicken Holiday and pizza (2 slices) from Phil's Pizza Place) for when he comes from where he lives to come see me this Saturday. He told me to bring about $25. I said I wasn't sure if I'd have enough $ for when I see him this Saturday. Honestly I didn't wanna pay for him. I feel like he's mooching off of me.

    You see, I'm saving up $ for a few things that I want. I have one jar of $ for when I get tattoos, another jar of $ for when I get my own apartment in New York City, and another jar of $ to buy my own long board. When I told him, he just said just forget about the long board $ so I'll be able to pay for his food.


    Last time (I think about two weeks ago) we were supposed to meet and he ditched me because his friend (male or female I dunno) was coming to see him from I forget where. It involves a plane I know that much. Anyway, he said that another reason he had to ditch was because he wanted to save his $ to be able to pay for us.

    Let me get this out in the open; I don't like to be spoiled. Never have. I pay for my own things and he pays for his own things. I want to be an independent woman. I don't want things handed to me. He said he wanted enough to pay for me next time we meet up, too. Which is this Saturday. I told him not to be he insisted. After God knows how long I finally caved in and agreed. His $, his choice right? Next time I just won't let him.


    But now when I asked him what happened to saving his $ to pay, he laughed and threw it in my face that I really did want to be spoiled. I explained to him that that was not the case and that what I really meant was "I thought you weren't gonna be broke because you said you'd have $ to pay for yourself."

    He said 'no' he didn't. Only a $20 to hitch a train and see me.

    This has happened more than once. Where I'd spare him a few bills for pizza, or a video games, or ice cream.

    I'm not poor or rich, I'm middle class. I have a budget. I can't keep on paying for him, ya know?

    What do I do? If I tell him flat out "no", then he'll get really *****y(pardon my French)and blow up on me.

    Is there any nice way of telling him that I can't(and honeslty do not want to all the time)pay for him because I can barely afford things myself with my minimum wadge job and allowence from my parents?

  2. #2
    JA0371
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,241
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    364
    I admire you for wanting to be independent...but you should NOT have to pay for this guys food. My rule of thumb is to take turns paying,or if one pays the other tips at least. Sorry but Id dump this chump now...sounds like needless drama.

  3. #3
    disneyfan
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    115
    Gender
    Female
    Just tell him you don't have the money to spare. Strait up. Be honest, but not mean about it. It's not your fault you don't have the funds to pay for him. Every once and a while, ok, but all the time? That's not fair.

  4. #4
    becomingkate
    Platinum Member becomingkate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    51
    Posts
    2,423
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    11
    I would probably talk to him about your visits and say that you can only see each other as long as you both have the money to do so. You don't want him paying for you or you paying for him because it causes hard feelings.

    If some guy told my 15 year old to give up her longboard money to buy him food, I'd tell her to dump him. She could do better, and so can you! Good luck.

  5. #5
    happyfrank
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Burbank, CA
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,916
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    50
    he just said just forget about the long board $ so I'll be able to pay for his food.
    He is being selfish. If you don't have money for pizza. Buy something cheap you both can share like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

  6. #6
    pinkelephant
    Platinum Member pinkelephant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Lala land
    Age
    27
    Posts
    5,681
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    6
    Tell him to take a hike. And don't come back. He's not a man.

  7. #7
    Godless_Heathen
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Boston
    Age
    51
    Posts
    993
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparky66 [Register to see the link]
    I feel like he's mooching off of me.
    He is, full stop. Male or female, you don't make demands like this of someone you're dating. If they want to buy food for you, fine, but you don't demand it.

    You needn't be nice about telling him this, because you really don't want anything to do with someone like that.

  8. #8
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    40,267
    Thanked
    1534
    Tell him that if he wants you to treat for the food then you are going to choose the menu and you are going to pick up some sandwich fillings and chips and you can drink water.

  9.  

Top Threads
I really need some insight. Please help!!!!!
Ok so I've been dating this guy for 3 months and we really hit it off. We talked to each other for hours on the phone every night and text everyday
Need Unbias Opinions
So, my girlfriend and I just had another big fight. For me it looks like it's time to end it, but I don't want to. The frequency of these fights
Need insight and perspective....
Backstory We have been together about 3 months, and due to an experience she had with her last relationship where he was an admitted sex addict
Something really messed up is going on here, and he won't talk about it!
I don't even know if this is relevant to the situation but my boyfriend has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He barely wants to talk about it
Am I crucifying him??
My partner has just got in from the pub and lied to me. He is tipsy and said twice that he hadn't smoked weed and then admitted that he had. I'm so
Domestic dispute
I just need mutual advice or opinions please. Super bowl Sunday me and my girlfriend went out to her sisters work to celebrate the super bowl with
court, babymamma, child?
My bf has been to court, following all orders, doing cclasses, ect. Yet judge gave mother full disclosure on visits an contact with his son(with a

valendtine's  day counseling
Featured Threads
How should I proceed?
I have financially supported my wife for the first 10 years of our marriage. I paid for everything (including her student loan from college) while
Was it rape if it wasn't violent?
Okay, I've never posted this on a forum or anywhere before so it's a little uncomfortable for me but bear with me. I met a guy two years ago that
Not sure what to make of this
So my boyfriend, 28, and I (26) have been together a year and a half now. My boyfriend, "Brett", used to be a member of this site called 'Suicide
Was He Cheating?
I need some advice. I have been with my bf for 2.5 years. I recently went through his phone which I never do but I had a bad feeling. He's been
My mother is snooping into my relationship
I know I posted about how my boyfriend came out as a bisexual after three years of dating right before he wanted to propose. And if some of you don't
hello new here and have a very unique situation
I just want to say HI and share a situation that I need help with desperately. So I will start off. I am a 37 yr old male, healthy and fit. I own
Do I leave my secure relationship for my soulmate?
So I've been with my fiancÚ for about 6 years and engaged half that. I've also been friends with a coworker of his for those 6 years. Only about a
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •