Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: My boyfriend wants me to pay for him. Advice?

  1. #1
    Sparky66

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Age
    18
    Posts
    1
    Gender
    Female

    My boyfriend wants me to pay for him. Advice?

    Yesterday, my boyfriend asked me to pay for his food (chicken from Chicken Holiday and pizza (2 slices) from Phil's Pizza Place) for when he comes from where he lives to come see me this Saturday. He told me to bring about $25. I said I wasn't sure if I'd have enough $ for when I see him this Saturday. Honestly I didn't wanna pay for him. I feel like he's mooching off of me.

    You see, I'm saving up $ for a few things that I want. I have one jar of $ for when I get tattoos, another jar of $ for when I get my own apartment in New York City, and another jar of $ to buy my own long board. When I told him, he just said just forget about the long board $ so I'll be able to pay for his food.


    Last time (I think about two weeks ago) we were supposed to meet and he ditched me because his friend (male or female I dunno) was coming to see him from I forget where. It involves a plane I know that much. Anyway, he said that another reason he had to ditch was because he wanted to save his $ to be able to pay for us.

    Let me get this out in the open; I don't like to be spoiled. Never have. I pay for my own things and he pays for his own things. I want to be an independent woman. I don't want things handed to me. He said he wanted enough to pay for me next time we meet up, too. Which is this Saturday. I told him not to be he insisted. After God knows how long I finally caved in and agreed. His $, his choice right? Next time I just won't let him.


    But now when I asked him what happened to saving his $ to pay, he laughed and threw it in my face that I really did want to be spoiled. I explained to him that that was not the case and that what I really meant was "I thought you weren't gonna be broke because you said you'd have $ to pay for yourself."

    He said 'no' he didn't. Only a $20 to hitch a train and see me.

    This has happened more than once. Where I'd spare him a few bills for pizza, or a video games, or ice cream.

    I'm not poor or rich, I'm middle class. I have a budget. I can't keep on paying for him, ya know?

    What do I do? If I tell him flat out "no", then he'll get really *****y(pardon my French)and blow up on me.

    Is there any nice way of telling him that I can't(and honeslty do not want to all the time)pay for him because I can barely afford things myself with my minimum wadge job and allowence from my parents?

  2. #2
    JA0371
    Platinum Member JA0371's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,422
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    455
    I admire you for wanting to be independent...but you should NOT have to pay for this guys food. My rule of thumb is to take turns paying,or if one pays the other tips at least. Sorry but Id dump this chump now...sounds like needless drama.

  3. #3
    disneyfan
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    115
    Gender
    Female
    Just tell him you don't have the money to spare. Strait up. Be honest, but not mean about it. It's not your fault you don't have the funds to pay for him. Every once and a while, ok, but all the time? That's not fair.

  4. #4
    becomingkate
    Platinum Member becomingkate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    51
    Posts
    2,448
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    20
    I would probably talk to him about your visits and say that you can only see each other as long as you both have the money to do so. You don't want him paying for you or you paying for him because it causes hard feelings.

    If some guy told my 15 year old to give up her longboard money to buy him food, I'd tell her to dump him. She could do better, and so can you! Good luck.

  5. #5
    happyfrank
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Burbank, CA
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,918
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    52
    he just said just forget about the long board $ so I'll be able to pay for his food.
    He is being selfish. If you don't have money for pizza. Buy something cheap you both can share like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

  6. #6
    pinkelephant
    Platinum Member pinkelephant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Lala land
    Age
    27
    Posts
    5,681
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    6
    Tell him to take a hike. And don't come back. He's not a man.

  7. #7
    Godless_Heathen
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Boston
    Age
    51
    Posts
    993
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparky66 [Register to see the link]
    I feel like he's mooching off of me.
    He is, full stop. Male or female, you don't make demands like this of someone you're dating. If they want to buy food for you, fine, but you don't demand it.

    You needn't be nice about telling him this, because you really don't want anything to do with someone like that.

  8. #8
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    40,678
    Thanked
    1711
    Tell him that if he wants you to treat for the food then you are going to choose the menu and you are going to pick up some sandwich fillings and chips and you can drink water.

  9.  

Top Threads
fiance got a lapdance?
so weve been together 3 years hes a lovely guy and we are very close, he went out at the weekend for drinks with his brother then tells me he had a
Not being trusted
Sorry for the long intro... I wasn't sure if to post this in the age gap section as I'm 36 and my fiancee is 23. We've been together for about a
What do I do?! I went through his phone
Ok so as bad as I know that going through your significant other's phone, I found some tetx messages from early april where he had txt a female
I love him, but I regret moving in together
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years (I'm 33, he's 35). I just moved into his house 2 months ago. It's the house he grew up in. Long
Am I crazy???
I have to know if I'm being crazy or not! My boyfriend and I have been in a turbulent relationship on and off for 4 years. When I say turbulent, I
Please help me I can't open up to my bf
So I've been with my boyfriend 6 months and we live together, but I'm always so angry with him lately :( he just annoys me so much. It's strange
is this normal?
So my best friend of 12 years is moving back down to our hometown after being gone for about 7 years. He's always been a great friend, always there

Featured Threads
Am I Being Used?
I met a guy a few weeks ago and we had an amazing first date, we talked for hours and hours and I went back to his- well we had sex all night. It was
Should I give him another shot?
I've recently started dating again after being in and out or relationships for the last 13 years, 10 years in 3 years single. After meeting a few
Help Winning my Girl back
I've recently split from my girlfriend of nearly 8 years and am now left at home on my own continually crying and having no motivation. I know its
Bad dream?
My husband of 5 years is on a business trip and had dream that he saw me having relations with a guy that I dated before. The dream upset him, and
Dipping my big toe back in the dating pool...
So... this may be too soon, but I have started at least allowing myself to look at other people as potential future partners. My breakup was 11
Having trouble trusting my girlfriend
A few weeks ago, I messed up big time in front of my girlfriend. I was quite intoxicated and got into an argument with my roommate. I kicked their
Do you stay friends after dating?
I was dating this guy for about 10 months. I'm 40, he's 49. When we met we quickly became great friends and eventually friends w/benefits and then
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •