What do you think?

Just curious as to what any of you smart folks think about this.

I have a FWB. It's been about 4-1/2 years, since my divorce. Always exclusive on my part because I don't want the hassle of dating at this time in my life. Exclusive on his part for about the past 3 years, by his own choice. I didn't ask him to be exclusive, but I was relieved when he decided to. It's not a lovey dovey 'romantic' type relationship. I have other guy friends I hang out with, and he has girl friends he hangs with as well. I'm even friends with my ex. But the benefits are exclusive. Kind of hard to explain or understand, but there you go.

He is a single Dad and small business owner so I often help with his son, I do his books, and I help him with shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. He helps me with my car. I consider us to be friends.

I normally spend the entire weekend at his house, almost every weekend. Last Friday night we went out for dinner, rented a movie. Saturday we visited his dad in the hospital, did some shopping, got Chinese takeout and watched football on TV. Sunday afternoon I was looking up some information on the Internet for him. His son was out of town. He asked me if I wanted a beer, and I didn't because I had a stomach ache. After he had a couple, he walked in and announced he was leaving, going to a female friend's house to "relax, kick back, hang out and have some fun." In all the time I've known him, he has never done anything like this. We had a perfectly nice weekend and then he basically kicked me out of his house so he could "have some fun." WTH?

Well, I was taken aback. I was kind of confused; did he want me to go? To stay and wait? I asked him how long he was going to be gone, and he said "probably a while." I would have been leaving pretty soon anyway; he couldn't wait? Nope. I've been around him plenty of times when he's having a drink, and we have enjoyed a few together, quite often actually.

I thought this was just about the rudest thing ever and I told him so. I don't even want to see him right now, because it seems he has no concept of consideration, or how his actions made me feel. He doesn't get it at all, and thinks I am overreacting. He invited me to his house, and then basically told me to leave so he could go party with someone else....how would you feel?

What say you?

It was a rude way to treat a friend. But bear in mind that a FWB has no more claims than a friend so you need to think about what you really want from him.

I don't think what he did was nice. I'd be upset too. Are you falling for him, maybe more than just friends like you thought?

DN, I do consider us to be friends. I wouldn't get involved with his son and parents or do his books and taxes if I only cared about the 'benefit' that was involved. ; )

LillyLoo, I honestly think that if was going to 'fall' for this guy, I would have done so by now after almost 5 yrs. He's not the type of guy I would normally fall for, as we are very different in many fundamental ways - religion, politics - and evidently, the way we feel about how to treat another person!

I do wonder if this is a basic difference between men and women and their levels of sensitivity. I would never dream of inviting someone to my house and then announce I was leaving while they were still there, and I've never experienced it, but maybe that's something guys do all the time.

Thanks to both!

No, this isn't a gender issue.