Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Why is she pushing me away?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Nov 2008

    Exclamation Why is she pushing me away?

    So ive never really posted anything like this before online but i believe there is a first time for everything. I also apologize in advanced if this seems somewhat disorganized.

    Im currently a stressed out college student with more work than ive ever had in my life. When i first got to school, i met a girl who i eventually became best friends with. We kept in contact several times a week over the summer after freshman year. About a month into our 2nd year we ended up kissing, and one thing lead to another and a month later i asked her if she wanted to be a couple, she said yes. Things went alright for a couple weeks, but then she started being somewhat reclusive. She is bipolar as she told me a while ago. I assumed that it was something that would pass, but now 2 weeks later she told me we needed to talk. She has a lot going on in her life, ill family members, confused about what direction to go in, divorce. She told me that she cares about me and wanted to take a break for fear of hurting me by not being there in our relationship. Ill admit that those couple weeks where she kept herself away werent too enjoyable, but then again they werent horrible. She told me not long ago that i am unlike anyone she has ever met, that i have nothing but good intentions. I like to believe this and i think for the most part i dont purposely try to harm anyone, but i also know that i cant be perfect. Her past relationships have been with nothing but mean, terrible people. I told her how i felt, that i dont want to be on a break, that i want to be there to help her in any way even if its only being there to provide support. She still pushed me away. Im left feeling confused. She tells me that i could be one of the best things in her life, but for fear of messing up our relationship she pushes me away back to friend status. I feel that even if we are just friends, she can still hurt me/mess up our relationship, so why change? She plainly said that she wanted a break and i said ok and walked out of the room without another word. She said that she didnt want to mess up our friendship. I dont know what to do. She is my best friend at school, the only person here that really knows me, and after being pushed away from her i honestly feel the loneliest i have ever felt in my entire life. Im by myself at a school far from home. Ive realized that i cant remember the last time ive ever had a deep meaningful conversation with one of my family members. She is the only one here who knows me. I feel that even if she isnt there to be by my side at all times, just having her as mine and knowing that she cares about me is enough. The only other real relationship ive had was in highschool. It lasted 2 years and ended because of a similar reason. She developed an eating disorder and didnt want me there. I dont understand why the people that i care about the most, the ones that need help, just completely push it away.

    I figure i should put in some info about myself to not keep this totally 1 sided. Im a pretty independent person, as a result im by myself often and do go through periods where i feel lonely. I have many friends, but i feel like most of them only know me on a superficial level. Im extremely good at holding anger back, and i really do try to be a nice person, although i do have times where ill make some petty wrong doings. I recently started seeing a therapist at school, because i figured it could be fun(i dont know why) and helpful. This semester more than ever has been taking a toll on me. Ive never had this much work ever (im an engineering student), my friends from home are almost all going through issues, my parents are probably going to get divorced sometime soon, and im just completely confused as to where im going with my life. Ive only been to 2 sessions but this is something ive decided to do on my own, only 1 other person knows im going, her. Can anyone give me any words of advice? I realize that i have some things going on in my own life, but this girl also means soo much to me. I want to be there for her, and im scared that if we take this break we wont ever get back together even though she said that she would hopefully like to. Im confused, heart broken, and lonely, what do i do?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member waveseer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    It's very difficult for some people to allow anyone to support them in such a personal manner. I have pushed people away in the past because I couldn't handle being dependent on them. I think I'm over it now as long as I have a legitimate reason. I think it would be okay to let her know in a non-intrusive way that you're thinking about her and care about her even if you aren't in direct contact. It might mean a lot to her.

Top Threads
Found a note on my car from a "Friendly Admirer"?
I commute by train to work every day and in the past few months, I've noticed this man who stares at me often but has not spoken to me. I don't know
Some people would call him a mummys boy
Ive been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years. Hes 34 and still lives at home with his mum. He is an only child and very very close with his mum
Boyfriend is not spending Thanksgiving with me to be with his daugther
I'm 36 years old and my almost a year boyfriend, 54. I don't have any children, he is divorced and have one son of 32 years that lives with his
Couple Rings
Hello there. Me and my girlfriend want to buy ourselves matching rings. We are together for a sort of short time ,but the idea of having matching
Weird relationship
I have a truly surreal story to tell. I met a guy 2 years ago. He started courting me. But I was not attracted in the beginning and even was
Fallen for a soon to be divorced Man...too soon?
I've known this guy for around 6 years, he was married to someone who I use worked with. We have always got on, easy to talk to, same sense of humor
Im 20 he's 27. I'm afraid the age gap is too much, especially for my family.
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now. We've gotten pretty close and we've both discussed giving a long term relationship a shot. We
Featured Threads
Need feedback, criticism from the men here *long*
I want to vent cuz this is bugging the hell out of me me even though I should be happy to move on. I want the perspective of men here because I feel
Should I be concernd about my ex's guy being around my son?
I was married to the girl of my dreams for 16 years until she met a guy in a cooking chatroom. The question I have is can I trust this guy with our
Struggling to figure out if she likes me or not?
I really fancy her and I still struggle with all the attraction sign things. I chose to sit at the table that I knew she'd be, because her friend
So having dinner with my ex tonight.
Recap: We dated nearly two years. I dumped him by email -- which was crappy of me, but I don't do conflict well. He was never able to say he loved
2 dates but now a new girl on the scene.
Been a while since I posted here, had a break from dating really, off all OLD and just thought I'd let fate do its thing. about a month ago I got
What are the chances that she could have gotten pregnant?
I met up with an ex from 5 years ago and in the heat of the moment we had unprotected sex. Now here are the facts: - She is 27, I'm 29. - She
Marrying someone with different level of religion understanding
Say, you're an orthodox religious man and your potential spouse has the same religion as you but with much lower level of practice and knowledge

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts