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Thread: Not sure if I blew it with him

  1. #1
    Silver Member lumu's Avatar
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    Not sure if I blew it with him

    I had been writing about my new bf who had the problem with his mom and sister. I'd been writing trying to be a comfort and sent him pictures but had no word from him. I got so upset feeling about his mom. I have been praying like crazy for her to recover so He doesn't have to go through the loss I have with my dad.

    I have been afraid that this kind of an issue can color his feelings and what was starting out as a soulmate will only associate me with his mom's illness.

    I kept crying all day at work worried about never getting to meet her. I wrote and asked him if he would write me a story about a happy memory of her incase I never get to meet her so I can know her.

    I had asked how she was and then I felt compelled to write and telll him now much I admire him for being there with his mom and family. For picking up and flying out there and that he was a good man etc. To keep bring strong and things would be okay. I said I wanted to hold him in my arms about an hour but I feel so helpless not being able to really do anything etc.

    Then I thought about why am I crying so much over this. I thought maybe tis that I just am two weeks on the pill. So I wrote that in the topic sentence. Then I realized Its because of my dad and my feelings of never getting to tell him I loved him or being with him when he died.

    So I wrote and told him the whole story of my dad (never have told anyone before and never will again)

    Then I realized he had told me his whole story but I had never opened up to tell him anything about me. I wrote and asked if he wanted me to tell him my life up to this point as a second date is going to be a long time coming and maybe it would distract him. I was willing to write it or wait and tell him in person.

    Now he's only read the one where I asked him about his mom. No response.

    Today he only read the email about me telling him my life story or not. No response back.


    So have I completely ruined things? Is it possible that he's just overwhelmed and has wisely chosen not to read the others until another time when he's less emotional?

    I miss him and I'm sure my own person BS about my dad isn't what this is supposed to be about. I guess I just reacted to unfinished business over his problems. I am not writing until he writes me back. I actually feel good about him for some reason. Like everything is okay again.


    I just wanted to know if its possible for him to understand that I'm human and I have emotional reactions to his pain and my own pain

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Ac143's Avatar
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    how often do you guys communicate while he is away? Is this the same guy you went on the one date with?

    Honestly I would be alittle freaked out if I went on 1 date with someone and they were telling me all this stuff...but that's just me. I know you want to support him thru this but maybe he just needs his own space right now?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member greywolf's Avatar
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    I think right now he's just very overwhelmed with things about his mom. I know you're trying to be supportive, but maybe he just wants to get away from those feelings when he talks to you.
    Try sending just a cute message in a couple of days.

  4. #4
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I'm sorry that you're in this situation, but from reading your other posts, it shows that you've only been on one date with him.

    I think it's great that you want to be supportive of what he's going through, but since he's not communicating much at all, I would wish him well, and take a step back. Not to sound negative, but since he has time to check his "MySpace", it seems that he could find the time to contact you if he wanted to.

    Since you've made it clear that you're there for him, I would leave the ball in his court.

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