Capricorn3

He's showing you his real, true character and what you see is what you get. All of this abuse in only 3 months?? Ask yourself, do you really visualise yourself living this way for the rest of your life with someone like this who treats you like trash and has zero respect for you? This guy is a toxic, dysfunctional mess and the sooner you leave the better. Be done and head for the hills. If you stay, knowing how badly he treats you (which will only get worse), then that's on you. Leave.

You do know this is abuse, right? You have absolutely no right to tell her to "go home immediately" or to "cuss at her when she doesn't listen". And no, she does not "need to listen to you". You are not her parent. She is not a young child. You are way out of line. I am not surprised her parents don't like you. What to do? - Leave her alone and learn from this. Perhaps you need to look into professional help - therapy to help you address all of your controlling abusive issues/behaviour. It would be of great benefit to you.

^ That's good. I was going to suggest seeing a doctor about it and addressing all the anxiety etc.

What's even more frightening is that there are so many of these cases it's almost hard to catch up. "Happy" family man, beautiful wife and gorgeous children, dream house with a white picket fence, constant happy family snap shots on all social media etc etc ...... only to end with him murdering the entire family, throw them down wells, bury them in the desert and on and on and on. And then go on TV, "crying" (with not a tear in sight), begging everyone to please help find his missing family. It's horrendous. I won't express my thoughts on what I would like for their punishment .......

My first and most immediate thought was to address ^THIS^. What is going on to cause 3-4 hours sleep for WEEKS?

^ This. OP, can you give us some idea of what exactly you're looking for? If you really don't want advice, perhaps posting in the Journal forum will be helpful to you.

I agree with both posters above. OP, it seems you're living in denial. Marriage counseling and therapy sound like a very good idea at this point. The sooner the better. Following that, a good attorney.

OP, this is the fourth thread you have about this same topic. Perhaps time to look into professional counseling/therapy to help you get over this as clearly nothing else has worked.

Am I the only one here who instantly thought "Eww eww" when reading those words? That would have been so off-putting (to me). OP, keep any and all flirting outside of work - it has no place with your job and colleagues.

^ That's all you need to know and it's your cue to head for the hills, FAST, and never look back. He should remain an EX forever and it would be extremely foolish to get involved with anyone who has that record. No amount of sweet talk and sweet words change the fact of what he did, which btw, shows his true character. Continue with your therapy and share this information with him/her.

I have always gone with the phrase "when in doubt, don't". It has saved me many times from making the wrong decision. That doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone should do what is right for them. Your girlfriend also deserves someone who can give her what she needs. Maybe time for the both of you to lay all your cards on the table so that you both have a clear understanding on which way this relationship is heading.

And with that, Thread closed.

I have nothing more to add to all the above comments, other than to say I second them all. He needs to be an EX.

I have no doubt he knows that you like him. Hard to know though, if the feeling is mutual - at this stage, anyway. At the moment it seems more one-sided.

Don't beat yourself up - you plucked up the courage to talk to him in the first place. That's a good start. Did he seem interested, engaging, smiling, friendly? Or was he more closed off? He's a newcomer - maybe treading with caution.