Andrina

But you're not happy. It's the reason you posted. Doesn't your happiness matter more? Or are you so unimportant in your own mind that everyone else's happiness comes before yours? He's throwing out breadcrumb words in the instance his horniness overrides his laziness on a random weekend and he'll summon the woman who gobbles up those measly breadcrumbs as if they're steak and lobster.

I wouldn't so much as ask her out on a date before getting signals in person she's interested in that. But I don't see anything wrong with messaging her saying something like, "I didn't get to see you on your last day to wish you good luck at your next job. I had fun working with you. If you're free on X or Y day, I'd love to take you to lunch to hear all about your plans." Then leave the ball in her court. If she says she's busy and doesn't suggest an alternative date, leave her alone. If she agrees to meeting up, let time reveal if she's as interested in you as you are of her--or not.

You lead a busy life, so even as you're not looking for a serious romance and are welcoming new friends, I'd consider quality over what'll end up as sporadic likes on Facebook etc. after that initial get-together. Or long video chats where instead you could be having fun locally with friends on outings. I no longer live in the two different states where I spent my early childhood, and then my teen years. In my experience, even with friends I've had histories with, lost contact with, and then reconnected because of social media, the experiences resulted in the fun of reconnection. We had fun catching up, I saw them on visits while visiting relatives in that state, but because we didn't live locally and couldn't reestablish regularly hanging out, it's now like I said; liking each other's posts on FB. I've never known a good looking guy who has his crap together who would be seeking friendship or romance thousands of miles away. That's an expensive and dumb way to find love and friendship. When things don't make sense, there's a reason.

If you haven't been flirtatious in the past, maybe try a bit of that on the second date and look for her reaction. Compliment her on her hair or what she's wearing. Break the barrier of touching if you're not in the practice of hugging by touching her arm for emphasis when you're telling a story or something. Or even hold out your hand to see if she's willing to hold it while walking. Her facial cues and body language should give you hints if she's welcoming to something more or not. If not, you can back off. If welcoming, you can progress to more communication, such as bringing up the fact you're interested in taking it from friendship to dating.

Irish Proverb-Your feet will take you to where your heart is. His words are meaningless when his actions don't support them. The two hour distance isn't that great when you could each drive an hour to meet up for a meal, a walk in a park, a weekend stay in a cozy rental. A good relationship will progress to deeper levels. This one is regressing. There are guys who like the chase until he reaches his goal of knocking boots, and then he doesn't want to put in the needed effort a serious relationship requires, so he acts like a jerk so the woman will dump him and he can move on to new sex with another casual situation. I wouldn't even give this guy an ultimatum. His lack of effort shows he's just not that into you or he never wanted a serious thing and this is his pattern. Don't lower yourself to plead and bargain. You deserve a man worthy of you that you don't ever have to resort to that.

There are some people who get off on stirrring the pot and feeding drama. It's possible he likes being in the middle of all this, making him feel important or some other weird psychology. It's actually quite cruel of him and unnecessary to tell you that others you don't really know are badmouthing you. It'd be a different story if it was for the purpose of benefiting you, such as if you you were pouring energy into a friend who wasn't really a friend and badmouthing you behind your back. That would give you the knowledge to end things for your own good. Just because a friendship once worked for you doesn't mean that's a given for a lifetime. You have two choices here: 1. Decide the bad outweighs the good now, and it's best to go your separate ways. 2. Make the friendship work again by telling him that when you are hanging out, that you no longer want to hear anything negative from him about you being badmouthed or how he and his wife had a fight because of him hanging out with you.

Since you're enjoying each other right now, why not just enjoy this time "as is." Just take one day at a time. Either it will work for eternity or one or both of you will eventually start being unsatisfied. Just set your life up to be fulfilling besides having a boyfriend and you will handle a breakup better than if he is the sole reason for your happiness. Yes, there is a huge period of growth between the ages of the late teens to the late twenties, so what one's goals and ideas and opinions were at one point might do a 360 later. The human brain isn't fully formed until age 25 in the decision making area of the brain, so sometimes it's best not to make major decisions like marriage until the brain is mature. Of course, that's not a hard and fast rule as I do know of people who married in their early twenties and have had successful marriages. You've spent huge amounts of brain power to figure everything out with the present and future with this guy. You're very mature, but maybe it's now time to lighten up a bit. You're a teen, which is the time to have fun before you get to the more serious part of adulting, where you'll have more responsibility (when you will no longer live with parents and have to pay rent and all the bills). Stop having these ultra serious conversations with your bf. He's even crying for gosh sakes. If anything, that will be the demise of your relationship if your time with him is like you're the life coach instead of having fun with activities with laughter and being silly, etc.

Perhaps mentally off, dysfunctional women go for that. Apparently, you've been surrounded by emotionally healthy women who can intuit ugly thoughts and also steer clear of men who pay for sex. You don't have to voice what you're all about when women sense by your vibes to stay far, far away.

It's best not to put all your eggs in one basket, so it's good to try many things in tandem. Meetup.com, OLD, dance lessons followed by a dance, volunteer work. Just get yourself out into the world at least one or two times per week as you never know where you will meet someone. A friend met her future husband at the car dealer when she bought her new car. She was in her late 40s. When I was that age as well, I was flirted with in a Panera Bread. He wasn't my type, but if he had been, sure, I would've exchanged numbers with him. I did find my husband on OLD after my first marriage ended. Lots of frustration and uncomfortable situations on OLD, but that's par for the course, so if you can handle that, sometimes the reward of finding a good one makes all the aggravation worth it.

I only know that a partner with zero work ethic would be a dealbreaker for me. Life is expensive and I want to enjoy my retirement without financial worry and don't want to work until I die. I've made those arrangements for myself, and expect the same from my partner. Why should a healthy, young partner ride on my tail coats for a free ride? Suggesting swinging would also have me pointing my partner to the permanent exit door. If you think this is a prized partner and that love conquers all, you're both naive and have extremely low self-worth. Perhaps if you get time and distance away from all of this, you will see that being free to eventually find a decent partner was the best decision you ever made.

You need to learn that when two people have opposite relationship goals, what you want isn't going to happen so it's best to not waste your time and end the connection. Why are you seeking friendship online? If you're having a dry spell in your local life, that's up to you to make things happen. Meetup.com groups. Taking up a sport/hobby/interest. Join a club.

In your shoes, I'd probably start focusing on the subject of financial matters for both your family and that of your parents. It's not fair that your parents are relying on you in that area. Are there changes that could be made? Do your parents live in a really large house they could sell and begin living in lower cost digs? Is there any antiques they could sell, or could they downsize to one car if they have two? Are they working and if not, why not? Don't be a doormat if they are helping themselves. And elderly people often don't like change, such as moving, but if you're being treated unfairly, insist on those changes with an ultimatum. Then if it were my spouse, I'd let her know I can't live like this anymore and that we would have to start planning finances for an eventual divorce, which will mean her learning to drive. I'd probably wait until your child starts pre-school so your wife can get work during school hours, and discuss that plan. And at that time, it might be in your best interest to sell the house if it makes financial sense for a divorce. This would give your wife time to set up a financial plan/work goals, since your custody payments won't be enough for her without her own paycheck. You could now also start cutting luxury expenses such as if you have a cable bill. Get Internet only and get a TV antenna. Buy grocery food far more than getting takeout and restaurant food. Buy clothes at consignment shops or other used clothing stores, etc. Speaking to a lawyer will help guide you in what to expect. Take care.

Why would you enter into such a stressful and dangerous situation because a man whispers sweet things in your ear? You don't even have the sense to block to him after he admitted he's been giving you stolen items? My advice: Block him. Book yourself into therapy because you're a danger to yourself. Do not consider dating anyone until you've achieved self-love and can make wiser decisions in the dating world.

When you said you were the common denominator, I thought that besides your own behavior, it could be that you choose the same type of women over and over, hence the same negative results. Think about a healthy balance in life, where of course a SO should be a priority and lots of time should be spent together once a more serious relationship is established. But if you let time with your friends and hobbies drop to the wayside when you get a gf, it's both not healthy to keep a good support system for yourself, plus you will be less interesting to a woman when she's the sole center of your social life. Think about expanding a woman's world, not minimizing it. She might like to learn about your hobby or participate in it. You might start a new hobby together, but try to keep one to yourself because it's good if a partner sometimes misses you. It's also good to keep up with time with the guys. If they have partners, it's also fun to double date because variety is the spice of life and only having dates together without group friends and individual friends becomes boring. I'm assuming you hadn't dated long before trying the hot air balloon thing. Perhaps save those pricier things for someone you've gotten beyond the honeymoon stage with. Basically, if you're not voicing anything except what you think she wants to hear, then you're being inauthentic and that will be to her like being with a robot. Think of Billy Joel's lyrics: You've given me the best of you. But now I need the rest of you. Voice your own needs. If she wants to eat a restaurant that you don't like, speak up. There are always other choices you can both agree upon. If you made a plan with a friend, don't cancel if she pouts when she finds out you're busy. If a woman starts speaking to you with disrespect or is being unfair about something, speak up for yourself. If you are afraid of losing someone because of minor disagreements, you're being unrealistic because every couple argues. It's expected, though the arguing shouldn't be nasty and should have the purpose of resolving the issue. I hope your self-discovery and working on yourself provides better results, moving forward.

In a healthy relationship, when there's a disagreement, the purpose should be to come to a consensus each can be satisfied with and put the matter to rest. So since he's been regularly bringing this up then that is punishment and something you should not be tolerating. With that last question, if you told him that the survey says in healthy relationships, each can hang out with opposite gender friends, that he will admit he's wrong and now everything will be fine between you two? As I earlier said, if a couple has opposing views on that subject, it'll never work. Much as you care about him, you're living a life in a toxic environment of arguments that will continue because you two aren't compatible. Free yourself to eventually find a man who is compatible with you in all the major ways, plus doesn't hound you about one mistake during the one precious life you have on this planet.