Stepfamily: Rebuilding the Family Structure

What is it like to co-exist as one cohesive familial unit when the fabric of your family has been torn apart and then pieced back together? Good relationships require tolerance, understanding, and a willingness to adjust to changes, more so when we are compelled to think outside of our own expectations. Everyday life along with the resulting struggles associated with it needs to be reframed for stepfamilies. What if there was an opportunity for families reconstructed through marriage or civil partnerships, to share a home, a heart, and commit to each other in spite of numerous potential difficulties? It is possible to develop a sense of balance as everyone learns with patience and kindness from within the family.

To start off on the right foot, think about the amount of quality time you week to spend not only with your partner but with your children as well. This quality time brings structure, stability and consistency needed to cultivate a strong connection between all family members. It begins with a routine filled with small acts of kindness such as shared meals, a game night, doing projects or creative activities together or allowing each other their "me time", moments away from the whole family routine. In other words, it's important to make sure that every person — adult or child — has the same chances to feel appreciated, respected and loved within a family. That's also why establishing a house rule or code of conduct is important. When parents behave respectfully towards each other and treat their blended family as equals, kids will pick up on those cues and learn how to care for their siblings, regardless of whether they live together full time or just visit from time to time.

Parents, especially when remarried, may have difficulty in moderating overlapping conversations and disciplines, especially if both have come from previous marriages and have assumed the worst from past experiences. Consequently, one parent might dominate the conversations by having too strong opinions and opinions which are not respected by his/her new partner leading to resentments for almost every decision taken. It is also possible for bioparents' priorities to conflict when determining what is best for their children. All such mechanisms should be avoided as much as possible by building trust through meaningful conversations with unbiased opinion sharing between parents in the presence of their children, who might actually take away important lessons learning how two families treated each other while trying to transition into the newly formed family.

Throughout the years, stepfamilies go through different stages of development, and might sometimes experience role confusion in order to bridge gaps that may exist between themselves and those on board with them. Blended families must put effort into constructing bridges in order to gain trust where fear is present. Mediation services become essential during this process as someone neutral outside the stepfamily can act as an ally in finding ways to ease a path toward mutual acceptance. The process should begin with an open discussion around respecting boundaries in respect to how much interaction there should be between all members of this new family formation without causing friction. That also helps in setting appropriate limits and keeping communication objective, yet nurturing at all times. parents need to agree on how they want decisions related to core issues such as finances, education or health care, will be addressed within the new blended family structure.

If the foundation is laid properly, a newfound commitment and loyalty will hopefully start building not only between all members of the reinvigorated family but also towards achieving common goals including short term ones too. Of course finances, lack thereof or even disagreements can also have an immense impact on any family structure's dynamics but facing it together in a composed and non-confrontational manner can ultimately lead to an enriching journey for all involved parties. Everyone needs the reassurance that this mixed family will work and evolve within these new parameters with everyone supporting everyone else's needs no matter where they come from.

Time dictates most transitions and it takes time for everyone — adults and children — to reorganize their thoughts and emotions when confronted by extraordinary life transformations such as blending two separate households into one working unit that puts aside ego and pride aside in order to condone others' desires no matter how difficult it can be. Stepfamilies support each other through thick and thin and it is important to remember that at its core it consists mainly of relationships between various individuals striving towards accomplishing general positive outcomes such as respect, understanding or bonding's power. If a loving environment exists among grown ups first then integrating kids into their core circle of love and trust becomes easier while lowering tensions significantly between old and new members of the family. Ultimately it all revolves around spending time together no matter where you come from so you can value your "new" past along with that of your siblings' too . That way a healthy bond can replace any potential disconnection so each unique individual is free to enjoy being part of a reinvigorated home that harbors everyone's past joys in order for everyone to strive and excel together forming solid foundations for the years ahead.