If You Have To Convince Yourself It's A Good Relationship, It's Not

When it comes to dating, it’s important to remember that if you have to convince yourself it’s a good relationship, it’s not. It might seem like the person you’re with is perfect but if they’re constantly making you question how good of a match you both are or if they're causing doubts and anxiety, it could be a sign it's time to move on.

It's natural to want to make excuses for someone you like or even love - it's an incredibly human thing to do - but convincing yourself to stick it out when something clearly isn't quite right is doing yourself a disservice. If the other person isn't meeting your needs, if they keep cancelling plans, don’t respect your boundaries or make you feel anything less than amazing then it may be time to accept that this person isn't the best fit for you and work on finding someone who will.

First of all, it’s important to recognize that it’s never really about the other person, it's more about what you allow them to do in a relationship with you. Do you make concessions to make them stay? Do you expect them to meet certain standards that you don’t even ask of yourself?

It is entirely within your power to make sure that you don’t settle for anything less than what you need in a relationship and it can be hard to accept at times but if you have to spend time convincing yourself that it’s a good relationship, it is time to walk away before the relationship reaches its breaking point.

So how do you know your relationship has reached this point? Here are some tell-tale signs:

1. It feels like you’re always trying to make it work: If you’re constantly having to check up on the other person, make excuses for their behavior, or try to make things work despite your doubts, it's time to re-evaluate what you have together.

2. You’re settling for things that don’t make you happy: It’s one thing to try and see past the negative but if you’re compromising your personal aspirations or standards to make the relationship work, then it’s unlikely it’ll last. It’s essential to find someone who makes you feel satisfied, seen, and valued and if you’re not feeling those qualities in your current relationship, it may be time to look elsewhere.

3. You’re repeatedly having the same argument: Arguing is natural, it’s normal, but having a recurring argument over the same thing is indicative of a more deep-seated issue and often this is a sign things are beyond repair. The other person could be aware of some unrest and unaware of how to resolve it.

4. You’re struggling to picture a future together: If in an ideal world you would have no qualms about staying together forever, yet without fail you come unstuck when picturing what could be, it’s likely time to step back and reassess your relationship.

At the end of the day, asking yourself if you are still in tune with your own self worth is a great way to evaluate your relationship. If you’re not able to be honest with yourself and recognize that you’re better off alone than settling for less, then you may want to reconsider the situation.

It is okay to care deeply for someone while also knowing it’s time to move on. There is no shame in recognizing that the relationship isn’t working and doing something about it. It’s important to remember that relationships of any kind should add value to your life and bring joy — if they're not doing this then it may be time to think about letting go in order to make room for something new and potentially bigger and better.

Being in a relationship should be about adding to your life, not taking away from it. If you find yourself having to constantly validate and convince yourself of the relationship’s merit, then it’s a sign that it’s time to let go and seek out something that actually works for you, personally. It won’t be easy, but it’s a vital step in discovering and understanding your true wants and needs in a relationship.