When two people separate, the way they part can be just as important as why they chose to part. When emotions are high and a break-up seems inevitable, it is common for one person to experience 'the ick', an internal rejection of the other person. While getting 'the ick' may seem like the last nail in the coffin of a relationship, this isn't necessarily true. You can recover a relationship after getting 'the ick'.
Facing the reality of your relationship when you feel that 'the ick' is present can be daunting. It's normal to want to ignore the issue, yet sweeping it under the rug will not make it go away. By examining yourself and your relationship more closely, however, you can understand what has created 'the ick' and take steps to rectify this.
Begin by looking at where your feelings have come from. Ask yourself if something changed about your partner or the relationship, or if this is an issue that has been around for a while but only recently became too intense. In some cases, 'the ick' is a result of the relationship being in a slump and needing a new spark, while in others, it can stem from a deeper problem that has yet to be discussed.
Once you are aware of the reasons behind your negative feelings, it's time to start making changes. Developing trust and communication with your partner is essential. It's important to talk to them openly and honestly about your feelings so that both of you can understand better what you need from the relationship.
Another key factor in trying to rescue a relationship post-'the ick' is self-care. You can't give away what you don't have - ensure that you are okay before attempting to make repairs to your relationship. Acknowledge your needs and put them first. Whether it's taking a break from your relationship for a couple of days, getting plenty of sleep, or setting healthy boundaries, look after yourself and your needs before worrying about anyone else.
Attracting a positive change in your relationship is going to be much easier if you cultivate a mutual respect for one another. This means being more accepting and aware of your partner's needs, rather than automatically assuming that your needs matter more than theirs. Respecting each other will encourage a healthier dynamic in the relationship overall.
Finally, make sure you aren't waiting around for the other person to solve the problem. Instead, focus on the things you can do yourself to make the situation better. Apologize if you need to and take responsibility for your part in it. This gives you both the opportunity to address the underlying issues and begin rebuilding the relationship.
Even if you feel like there's no hope left, remember that all relationships are worth saving. Take the necessary steps to objectively evaluate your feelings and then use them to make meaningful changes. When you take ownership and love yourself and your partner unconditionally, anything is possible.