How Can I Get My Sex Life Back On Track?

Dear eNotAlone: I love my partner and we make a great couple, but lately we've been having problems in bed. We just can't seem to get it right when it comes to sex. It's incredibly disheartening and I don't know what to do. The chemistry we had when we started our relationship has vanished and now its one awkward experience after another. It's getting hard to stay positive about our future. Can someone with experience please help me?

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When things aren't going right in the bedroom it can be a demoralizing and frustrating experience. You are not alone in this feeling, and you should know that there is a way through it. Before we tackle tips and advice, it is important to acknowledge why this problem has arisen in your relationship.

The biggest cause of issues in bed is communication. This doesn't mean that you should be talking the whole way through, instead it's about having an open dialogue outside the bedroom about your likes and dislikes. This helps to build a stronger understanding of what turns you both on and how you can create that magic in the bedroom.

It is also essential to remember to take things slow. Pressure on both parties to perform can ruin the experience for both and cause feelings of self doubt. Rekindle the desire by focusing on the non-physical sides of the relationship. Reconnect through conversation and activities you both enjoy, it will build a stronger bond that can reignite that feeling of closeness and intimacy which often fades in long term relationships.

You shouldn't try radical changes all at once. Small tweaks like good quality lube, different positions or a light massage can have significant effects. Most importantly, have fun! Relax, trust each other and allow yourselves to experiment and explore. Don't take it all so seriously, enjoy the journey and who knows, you might just find some unexpected pleasures along the way.

If you continue to feel uncomfortable and lose sexual confidence, talk to your partner about it. Communication is key for any relationship, especially when it comes to tackling issues in the bedroom. If this still doesn't help, don't hesitate to seek professional advice from a therapist or qualified doctor who can support you both during this difficult time.