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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    Finding Happiness in Heartbreaking Times

    When intensely passionate love turns sour and relationships come to an abrupt end, the hurt can be overwhelming. Looking at life without the person you shared so many dreams with can seem insurmountable and heart-burdening. Your enjoyment of moments can become crippled and the outlook for what comes next appears bleak.

    It is normal to cope with the pain of a break-up and feel broken and empty, but feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness do not need to become permanent and predominate. While it might appear impossible to find solace and feel joy in life again, no matter how shattered, there is a way out of this impasse.

    The process of repairing the damage to your heart and soul can be slow, painful, and laborious, yet well worth the effort. Through promoting the healing process and addressing areas in need of repair, it is possible to find happiness in heartbreaking times.

    Illuminating Ways to Start the Re-building Process

    Although every situation is unique and every human being comes with their own set of issues and circumstances, there are certain fundamentals that have proven highly effective in overcoming difficulty and allowing individuals to brim with enthusiasm for life again.

    First, it is essential to acknowledge your current reality and allow yourself to experience pain, anger, or frustration. Pretending that everything is fine is not the way out - instead, it will merely store negative energy for future release. Trying to shrug off pain or ignoring its existence sends a strong message to our minds when we really need healing.

    Anger, a common emotion associated with loss, needs to find a way out as well. Although it may seem counterintuitive, it is actually best to express and exude your anger – either in a mental manner such as writing or to a support system such as friends or family who can act as unbiased listeners. Similar to removing a splinter before it creates an abscess, releasing the anger in small increments is beneficial. Not only will you be freeing yourself from it, but those around you will thank you too.

    Next, seek out activities that bring you comfort and delight. Often when going through emotionally exhausting times, the thought of doing anything becomes almost unimaginable, but if you can summon the courage to find just one thing – whether that’s calling an old friend or indulging in an unexpected pleasure - joy and humor can be brought back into life. After all, nourishing moments of joy can aid the healing of even the deepest hurts.

    Achieving Fulfillment Post-Breakup

    It is essential to focus on the present and the future, rather than dwell in the past. Once the recognition of letting go has emerged, the process of developing a meaningful life post-breakup begins. It’s natural to have lingering thoughts of wanting things to work out or wishing things had been different; while they might provide temporary relief, they do not move us forward.

    Time serves as the best healer after a traumatizing experience such as a break-up. It may take years to forget, but it can take days to learn how to live peacefully in the present moment. In reality, no one can lose something they never had, and in nearly all cases, the invested emotions were at least partially illusionary. Rediscovering your lost self and learning anew how to exist with contentment can take some patience and even bravery, but ultimately it is necessary to find stability and insight.

    Be gentle with yourself; life, although unpredictable, does not always have to equal suffering. Remember to take life one day at a time, and determine for yourself what brings you joy, as well as what makes you feel strong and capable. Try to match your actions to your priorities, and discover ways to laugh and find opportunities for playfulness. Through self-growth and internal peace, the fulfillment that only comes from knowledge and understanding can become achievable.

    Throughout turmoil in life, particularly the hardships one faces during the period following a break-up, it is important to keep the flame of hope alive. Pandemics, economic chaos, and personal catastrophes might pass, but looking within and identifying simple moments of happiness offer us accessibility to undeterred joy and harmony.

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