Mastering Psychological Flexibility: The Key to Creating Lasting Change in Your Life

We all have areas of our lives that we want to improve, whether it's our health, relationships, or career. However, the reality is that change can be difficult, and our motivation often dwindles once we're confronted by the challenges in the real world. That's why it's crucial to develop the skills of psychological flexibility - the ability to adapt to changing circumstances and pursue our commitments despite setbacks and obstacles.

Psychological flexibility is a set of processes that help us to be more present and engaged in our lives, to defuse from negative thoughts and emotions, and to take action towards our goals. These processes are grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a form of psychotherapy that emphasizes the importance of accepting our thoughts and feelings without judgment, and committing to actions that align with our values.

The first step to mastering psychological flexibility is to become aware of your values - what matters most to you in life. This requires taking the time to reflect on your priorities, your passions, and your long-term goals. Once you have a clear sense of your values, you can start to identify specific actions that align with them, and commit to taking those actions, even in the face of difficulty or discomfort.

For example, if your value is to prioritize your health, you might commit to going for a 30-minute walk every day, even when you don't feel like it. Or, if your value is to build stronger relationships, you might commit to setting aside time each week to connect with friends or family members, even when your schedule is busy.

The second step to mastering psychological flexibility is to cultivate mindfulness - the ability to be present and non-judgmental in the moment. Mindfulness allows us to observe our thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them, which can help us to defuse from unhelpful or negative thinking patterns. This, in turn, allows us to take more intentional actions that align with our values, rather than reacting impulsively to our emotions.

There are many ways to cultivate mindfulness, including meditation, yoga, and mindful breathing. The key is to find a practice that works for you and make it a consistent part of your routine.

The third and final step to mastering psychological flexibility is to develop a sense of self-compassion - the ability to treat ourselves with kindness and understanding, even when we make mistakes or face setbacks. Self-compassion helps us to approach challenges with a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset, and to bounce back from failure with greater resilience.

To cultivate self-compassion, it can be helpful to practice self-talk that is kind and supportive, rather than critical and judgmental. You can also try to reframe your setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than as evidence of your inadequacy.

Mastering psychological flexibility is a key factor in creating lasting change in your life. By becoming more aware of your values, cultivating mindfulness, and developing self-compassion, you can build the resilience and adaptability you need to pursue your commitments and achieve your goals. Are you willing to commit, without defensiveness, to experience reality and create behavior that reflects your values? The choice is yours.