Does anyone else find themselves always trying to find holes in their rship?

Even if the relationship is going really well, you're a great match, you both bring out the best in each other and he makes you happy. But in your head you try and find holes in the relationship...like, 'the relationship is great, but..'

It's not like I try to focus on the negatives, but it's like it feel wrong if there isn't something wrong, you know what I mean?

Does anyone else do this?

YES! I think it's only natural. No one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. I was actually going to make a post about this and something I am experiencing in my marriage.

We can't be ALL things (all of the time) and I think there will always be something each partner falls short of. And I think that's what relationships are all about; just two imperfect people trying to make it right. Right?

No. Because that leads to making the other person wrong in our eyes no matter how much they try to get along. Do that enough and they walk away.

No. Because that leads to making the other person wrong in our eyes no matter how much they try to get along. Do that enough and they walk away.

Agreed. Also, I can't quite get my head around WHY I would look for something wrong when all is going well - makes no sense to me. When all is well it makes me an extremely happy and contented woman, lol. Why would I look for holes in my relationship when there aint none?

I guess I misunderstood...I read it as are there holes in a relationship, when indeed you meant *trying to find them*. I wouldn't set out to find them, but I do believe they are there. I don't believe one person can be everything at one given time and everyone falls short of something. Whether it be big or small.

No. Because that leads to making the other person wrong in our eyes no matter how much they try to get along. Do that enough and they walk away.

Yes! I agree. I'm in two minds about it, I know it's not healthy and I really am happy 99% of the time. It's hard to pinpoint, I think it's a case of trying to balance being my own person with my own goals while managing the goals of our relationship.

Agreed. Also, I can't quite get my head around WHY I would look for something wrong when all is going well - makes no sense to me. When all is well it makes me an extremely happy and contented woman, lol. Why would I look for holes in my relationship when there aint none?

 

Maybe I didn't word it right, maybe it's a perfectionist trait - always trying to improve and make things the best they can be. When really it might be a case of stepping back and saying 'things are good as they are right now'

Remember there is no such animal as perfect.

Absolutely. My boyfriend brought this up to me the other night, said that I'm never happy or satisfied with what I have. If he does something that bothers me and then stops it or fixes it in my head its kind of like okay great u fixed that but now im bothered because of something else. Or i see other couples all flirty and lovey dovey in public and ill say why cant we do that, your not affectionate enough etc.

You are walking down a one way street toward being single. Can you picture dating someone.like you?