Feeling of never meeting someone else

It's been 7 weeks post break-up, also 7 weeks NC, she left for greener grass after 4 year LTR and now I'm left to pick up the pieces. Anyway, does anyone else have the feeling that there won't be someone else for them? I don't know why, but I feel like that. Is it a common feeling or is it just me?

It is a very common feeling ...you are the one who has been left standing .. she was your future so therefore your whole thought process has had to change ..one minute you are going with the flow of having a future and a life and plans with someone , the next minute it has all been wiped out .....so there is this big old empty void now ( am I cheering you up ) and that is where the despair and emptyness about your future comes from .

You are only 7 weeks into this as well , so you are still grieving for the loss .

But one day that big void will be exciting and something to enjoy , because the possibilities to fill that void are endless ...what's round the corner is a mystery , there is so much more to come .... and you will get over this empty phase and start to enjoy the mysteries of life once again , dont worry .

You're depressed and feeling lonely and sorry for yourself. It's totally normal. But you will meet someone else. Unless you die. That may decrease your chances slightly hang in, it gets better.

You're depressed and feeling lonely and sorry for yourself. It's totally normal. But you will meet someone else. Unless you die. That may decrease your chances slightly hang in, it gets better.

hahahahaah clinton ...yeah that slightly decreases the chances of happiness

I guess in my mind I just want a quick fix, a girl that would love me like my ex did before everything went to the dogs. It probably didn't help that I lost my way to the finding love and soulmate subforum where I saw a couple of threads where some people haven't found anyone ever. And then I start to picture the situation of me forever alone.

Hah, death could diminish my chances a little..

Yes to think along that pattern is very common and i think it's naturally part of the recovery process. It's just not true though. When someone leaves us it opens so many new doors and new people to experience and with every breakup life leading you to the person you were meant to be with.

The worst thing you can do though is give up, if you give up on life and love then it will give up on you. 4 years is a considerable time frame and it will take some down time to process it all. There is no quick fix. When we are going through a change its hard we've all been there, what you have to do is muster up your will and go this isn't the end of me, I'm coming back and I'll be stronger for it.

we all find love again, life is a journey sometimes your up, sometimes your down. Currently your down but you will bounce back in time it's the only choice to have. You've got to keep on living and keep moving forward.

But what if we DON'T all find love again. I mean, like OP said, some people admit to staying single for the rest of their lives after their breakup. It is such a terrifying thought. And I have it. I am still looking for love as intense as with my ex and after a year, becoming quite desperate about it.. I just dont want to settle. What if the cards are dealt this way that certain people just never find someone as good of a match again.

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A year is not a long time to wait for love, Lucha. I met my mister four years after splitting with my former husband. And no, it's not the same kind of love. It's so much better. I found him after I stopped looking and hoping. And he's amazing. Truly.

Lucha, you are still looking for a replacement for your X. What you are doing is not fair because in your mind you still have your X on this High pedestal that no one can knock off. As long as you have her up there, no one will compare. Every one is different..You are trying to find someone worthy to project your love for your X and that is not right. And Lucha, you have dated other girls, you have met other girls and you have chosen to compare them to your X, thats why they fail. You dont treat them as a new person, you interview them and see if they are like your X or worthy of getting the love you harbor for your X. Its over with your X.. regardless if its the best you ever had its not the best youll ever have.

Now to the OP, feeling like youll never meet someone is quite normal. Our esteem goes in the toilet and thats normal too. We just got rejected...dumped and that is going to take a hit on us. But its going to get better. Dont expect to get all of it back in one big chunk, go out, make yourself happy then when you feel better, say hi to an attractrive stranger, smile at the person who helps you out when you go shopping.. Do the little things to get your esteem back and youll get back there. You attracted someone before and you can do it again.. be that person you were before you started dating.

Not just you! I feel the same way and it has been 7 months since I left my ex (toxic relationship). I went on my first date and thought how in the heck will I ever love anyone else or will anyone else ever love me? Of course I try to recognize this is my first date in years so hopefully it will get better!

From a mathematical standpoint lets think about this. There's over 6 billion people. Assuming you are straight, there are approximately 3 billion people of your preferred gender. Out of those, maybe 10% are within an age that would work for you so about 300 million. If we were to take those 300 million and somehow develop a perfect formula to determine how perfect they are for you and line them up in that order, what do you think the statistical probability is that your ex was the top of the list?

So yeah, its possibly you'll never meet someone better for you than her but its highly unlikely she was the absolute perfection. There are a lot of people out there, you can't really worry about finding the best/perfect one. Just find someone who makes you happy, that's really all you need in life.

I have dated one girl and had a fling with another. They failed because the first one kept saying things to keep me small (for example, "your job really isnt that hard, I sometimes work till 7 too" or "you cant have any fun, because you dont even drink". The second one failed because she lives longdistance and it was never intended to work anyway, it was just a fling.

I'm just looking for a girl who I am seriously attracted to, mind-and-bodywise. And who respects me and would never put her own ego above the relationship. I dont think of that as looking for a copy of my ex. I do however am desperate about finding a mutual level of attraction.

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Lucha... you will find someone...It seems hopelss because you spend a lot of energy focusing on the need to find someone. It will happen...I went thru the same thing after my last heartbreak..I said the exact same thing as you, that Ill never find someone, maybe Im cursed, destined to be single etc..

Someone is out there for you, that person is out there buying coffee or reading a book and she wonders where her perfect mate is. One day you two will meet.. But you cant force it to happen.

As someone who's gone through a painful breakup, losing the person I thought was 'the one' I can tell you trying to fill the void right now is the exact opposite of what you need. Seven weeks in I was a disaster, you need to be gentle with yourself, learn about yourself during these early stages and seriously process the grief, not start looking for a new partner. YOU should make yourself happy. And damn it's easy for me to tell someone else that but not take the advice myself, but it's true. Even five months post breakup I compare every potential to my ex, it's unfair and I've accepted until

I truly digest what's happened and learn to love myself and my time alone, I will never find someone new. We shouldn't even be 'looking' so to speak. When I met my ex the last thing I wanted was a relationship, I was happily single and it just happened. No one finds their soul mate when they're scouting for one. Just do you right now, stay productive, and try to be a bit more optimistic. Even if you never find someone else (so unlikely it's almost funny) there is still joy to be found in life. Being alone shouldn't scare you, it needs to excite you.