thoughts of them kick you in the teeth

I thought i was doing well after two months and on my part minimal contact - but he calls and wants to meet to return something i think as a rouse to see me before he goes away.

I waited for his call to arrange a time - why? I started feeling bad again and now am sad - he did call and i went crazy saying we could have been okay your ma got in the way are you running from me - he said he running from whole life and if i hadnt pushed him we could have been together - liar

I know it wouldnt have worked out - his ma was always an issue and his never thinking of me too - he still wants to meet in dec i said i didnt think it was a good idea and the door is solidly shut we will never be together again (he says we may get back to gether in the future who knows)

He says what happened and we silly - he doesnt want to be with me but says these things - why do i listen?

So to you i ask what can i do to block his words from my mind i was doing well without him and his horrible hot air words - btw we decided to mutally split and i had to do the deed he had no balls to do it -

It was the right decision on my part - but i scared to be alone like i am sometimes and afraid no one will ever want to be with me - i feel old but only in early 30's - have i missed the boat now then ?

What a mess!

The best thing for you right now is to stay away from him. It seems as if he allows his mother to come between you two and he refuses to exclude her from you guys' relationship. In order to effectively heal, you will have to ignore all communication attempts from him. If you want, you can give him a courtesy and say that you can't handle contact right now, maybe down the road. But then, you ought to stay focused on healing and getting over this rough patch.

Your worries of aging alone are normal. Many people have such fears or concerns. However, it's important to not focus on your fears. Focus on what you can do to improve your life now and make yourself feel better about who you are and what you're doing to improve. An example of activities which will help raise your self-esteem are getting involved in a fitness program (yoga?), educational goals, volunteering at any organization, coaching a team or mentoring a child, or becoming involved in a charity. Your time is the most valuable thing on earth, so invest in yourself.