What if I'M the jerk?

[DeeTeeCee]

ok wow, so she IMed me tonight a little while ago. stupid me decided to accept the message because i hadn't blocked her from my AIM list, just simply took her off of it.

 

but before i get to that, a little more background info: i got a puppy for us a few months ago and we named her panda. yeah, i know a puppy is perhaps a big step for a young couple, but i really really thought she was the one. anyway, yesterday was panda's 1st birthday and i kinda celebrated it by getting her a new toy and made her peanut butter treats.

 

i am taking ownership of the dog because she has been with me in my home for the majority of her life and currently lives with me. ex cannot take her because her residence does not allow pets. we never discussed this with the breakup and i just assumed that panda'll be mine.

 

i posted some pics of panda on her bday on my blog, and i guess the ex took a look at them. here is our AIM convo that she initiated:

 

her thanks about panda bday.

 

me (not sure whether she really means it and is saying it like thanks for treating her out on her bday, or if shes being sarcastic and saying thanks for celebrating w/o her) sure

 

her why are u such a jerk

 

me (feeling as though i've been baited) i'm not going to get into this sorry. i already asked you multiple times to not contact me and you haven't respected that. like i said before, this isn't a reflection of any feelings towards you, so you're mistaken in saying i am being a jerk.

 

her whatevers.

why does this had to deprive me of panda

you're always going to be the same

always put urself first

whatever. bye

 

me i can't believe you're still playing the blame game

 

her i can't believe you're still the hard-headed stubborn guy

i guess time does really tell

 

me if you're just going to keep attacking me then this conversation is over

 

her its been over.

i just don't understand why i can't see panda

 

(keep in mind, contact has been cut off and though she did try and make contact a few times, she never once mentioned our dog)

 

or at least her bday

but i forgot how selfish you are

and only care about ur position

so

then goodbye. and goodbye to panda also.

 

me bye

 

 

a clear case of her trying to make me feel guilty? i'm not as irritated as i would've been a few months ago, i'm able to keep a clearer head (though the 'blame game' comment didn't help i suppose. i feel almost sad for her that she's just lashing out at me like this, (seemingly) desperate to get a reaction from me or something.

 

or maybe she just really misses the dog.

 

during the relationship i would actually be like 'ah jeez, i guess i am a jerk and i shoulda known to do this or that or whatever.' now i am simply disappointed to see that even while we're broken up she still expects me to do certain things and act a certain way. or am i really just being a jerk for assuming the dog's mine and not giving her a chance to discuss that sorta thing?

 

thoughts? or should i just keep moving along and ignore this little episode.

[Clabs]

Hi DTC.

 

Yes - probably her trying to throw more guilt back at you. To be honest, from what you posted, she sounds really immature.

 

You are not being a jerk because of Panda - as you say, she didn't enquire before.

 

I think it funny that she is still looking at your blog - sounds like she is really beating herself up - good!

 

I would just ignore this and move onwards and upwards.

 

Mark

[DeeTeeCee]

yeah i'm realizing she's done this throughout our relationship numerous times, just trying to make me feel tremendously guilty over anything that doesn't sit well with her. i once called her an expert at guilt-tripping people, guess i wasn't too far off on that.

 

thanks for the suggestion clabs, i'm not really letting this bother me much and will continue the NC to the best of my ability, or would it be considered LC at this point? either way, her contacting me isn't really hurting or upsetting me all that much.

 

if anything it's reinforcing the idea that perhaps this breakup was a blessing in disguise.