Starting Over

[misskitty]

I had a great week and a half. Then BAM. My ex actually gave me stuff back yesterday. I didn't even see him though, I just saw his shadow at the door. I don't know what posessed me to text him and say thank you but I did.

 

I am overwhelmed with everything and very angry and sad. I have this stupid wishful thinking that he will come back one day and tell me he has changed, that he has went into long term therapy for his problems. This is affecting me physically again. I finally have been able to start eating regularly again after almost a month. This morning I got sick from everything I threw up. My appetite is gone again.

 

This is crazy, it seems that my marraige of 8 years was easier to deal with than this, and I was cheated on/abused in that also. I don't understand this.

 

This whole thing makes me never want to love again and give myself so freely to anyone else ever again. It seems I always get hurt. Thanks for reading my vent.

[Siriana]

You managed to be better once, you'll do it again. I am shure.

Just do your best to eat regularly.

 

Have you considered theraphy?

Abusive people are masters in finding people with lower self esteem (in lack of better phrase...please don't get angry) and to suck them in a relationship by telling all the wonderfull stuff in the beginning they want to hear. After they make their position secure they first undermine your self esteem and than become abusive.

I am not saying at all that it's your fault for being abused - abuser is a sick person and you are 100% victim.

I am trying to say that maybe it might help to ask for some help to see what can you change to become less attractive to them.