Should i leave him or should i stay with him?

[lipstick]

i am 22 and i am dating this guy that i really like, but the problem is ....after dating for 4 months he told me that he will never marry me and that eventually we will have to break up......he really likes me and he treats me nicely but the fact that he wont marry me scares me away.........and its not like i wanna marry him any time soon, but at least i would like to have an option that if we last long we are heading somewhere........in fact i would like to get married in my late 20s (like 28 or 29) so i am not looking for marriage now.........but it kind of bites me that there is not even an option , you know what i mean???

i am having a good time with him now, but i am in doubt should i keep on dating him or leave him???

and if i stay, does it make me look like a ? thats the least that i want

[JanetJ]

Has he told you why he won't/can't marry you?

[lipstick]

yes, he did, and its because we come from different backgrounds and different countries.... also because one day he wants to go back to his country and live there, so he is only temporary in my country (like for 10-15 years only)

[Yvette84]

omg. LEAVE HIM!!!

then why is he with you???? it sounds like he's just using you till something better comes along. Dump him. You deserve someone who wants a future with you.

[annie24]

you know what, I would thank him and move on. He is telling you flat out, "I think you're a nice woman, but you're not THE ONE." Thank him for his honesty and go meet a guy who does think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

 

It's not fair or fun, but if he doesn't "feel" it for you, you can't talk him into feeling it for you or changing his mind. I have been there too, it is not fun!

 

So, yeah. Thank him, and leave. good luck

[Lava Rocks]

Do you think you're emotionally capable of dating him in the meantime knowing it won't last? If so, then go for it. But go into it knowing that you can't change his mind.

 

I agree that if you're looking for something more that will lead up to marriage, it would probably be best to leave this guy and go find what you're looking for elsewhere.

[flower99]

personally I would break up with him now, Why prolonging the inevitable?

if he honestly has no intention of marrying you & is certain you two will break up...than why waste your time & emotions and heart on him - someone who has every intention of not being with you in the future.

Find someone who is looking towards the same future as you. And who you will love you back.

[StarLily]

omg

I would leave him right after I heard that. He put a dead end on your relationship already. Yvette is right, it sounds like he is using you.

 

Think about it: You take a class and your professor tells you that you will fail no matter how much effort you put into it. Would you want to put effort into it or drop it?

[annie24]

Think about it: You take a class and your professor tells you that you will fail no matter how much effort you put into it. Would you want to put effort into it or drop it?

 

That's a really good analogy!

 

I remember saying something similar to another poster a while back. If you are a nurse, but you want to be an ER nurse, but the hospital where you are working says that they will NEVER give you the job you want, even though they think you are great...... well, you'd go and find a new hospital to work where they would let you work in the ER! You wouldn't stick around there anymore.

[lady00]

Agreed...dump him. You could potentially waste years with this guy who just doesn't want a commitment with you.

[JanetJ]

It definitely seems as though you should move on because the reasons he gave you are not going to change. Thank him for his honesty but free yourself to find somebody wonderful who can give you that committment when you're ready for it.

[Jayar]

Know too that, if he was truly into you, he'd want it to work. Either he'd want to stay with you, or he'd want to bring you with him. Love doesn't happen every day, so when it happens typically people are VERY protective of it. That alone should be reason enough to get out.

[ghost69]

he said he will eventually break up. dump him now.

[Blooded_Rose]

I wouldn't date someone I wouldn't marry. I don't mean that's the sole purpose, although I'd love to settle down in my late 20s. BUT whatever is I'm looking for in my current dates is what I'd be looking at a husband.

I'd be offended to know the one I'm seeing is going out with me for wrong reasons. Love will come again..

PS: dump him, and do it quickly.

[ghost69]

if somebody said that to me. i'd question what i mean to them.