Sometimes I wish I had never met her

[HyruleGuardian]

My ex broke up with me around the end of February (you can find my multiple threads on this in my history). Since then, she tried asking for me back but I refused. She tried calling me and sending me messages through people I know, but I refused to contact her. I've done the no contact and I have fully healed. She hasn't called or done anything for a few weeks now.

 

Anyways, I met her in the middle of 2006 and we were friends for awhile. We started dating around December and things just went way too far, way too quick. I fell for her and apparently she didn't have the same feelings. It ended after about 2 months. I was heartbroken, but I recovered quickly and didn't fall for her stupid games.

 

Unfortunately, I still do see her all the time because we live really close to each other. Her cousin is my sister's best friend, and she lives with her cousin. My sister always gives me updates on her even when I don't ask, and it pisses me off. It gets me thinking about her again and I don't want to. Sometimes I wish I could just delete these last few months from my life and go on. If I would've never met her I would be so much happier right now. When I was with her my grades dropped, I didn't work as much, etc. Basically, I was only there for HER. I just wish I had never met her because it all feels so pointless now. What a waste of my time that I could've spent improving myself.

 

Anyone else ever feel this way?

[applejack]

Yes, I fully understand.

 

Now if you still love her, then try to really get to know her. Ask her to communicate her needs and desires. Try to get to know her in ways that you never have.

 

If you're not really sure that you still love her, then let her go. Politely tell your sister that you aren't interested in the life of your ex.

 

I just don't understand why some people do the break-up/get back together cycle. Either you love someone or you don't. She really needs to make a decision.

[thelonelydoll]

I always wish I had never met my ex! He was a huge waste of my time, energy, and love. It was a bad emotional investment - but I'm glad I cut my losses before it actually progressed to marriage. I like George Jones, but I never saw myself marrying a drunk.

 

But HG - now that we know it was a waste of time, it's up to us to be using this energy for ourselves now.

[lady00]

I'm wondering...why didn't you take her back? Were you over her?

[ExarionUniverse19]

Just a question out of curiosity -- what did she say when she asked about getting back together? Maybe I shouldn't be asking this, but it seems as if you didn't take her back for the same reasons I plan to use (if she contacts me).

[HyruleGuardian]

I'm wondering...why didn't you take her back? Were you over her?

 

Because after she broke up with me I didn't feel like she could be there for me 100%, and she just wanted me back because she thought I'd always be there. I think I shocked her when I told her I don't want her back. At the time, I still had feelings, but I wasn't going to be a doormat for her to walk all over. Now I don't have feelings for her anymore.

 

Just a question out of curiosity -- what did she say when she asked about getting back together? Maybe I shouldn't be asking this, but it seems as if you didn't take her back for the same reasons I plan to use (if she contacts me).

 

That she made a mistake and realized how much better it was with me there. Then I told her what I said above.

[Jess...]

Sometimes I wish I could just delete these last few months from my life and go on. If I would've never met her I would be so much happier right now.

 

Anyone else ever feel this way?

 

All the time!! I made a thread about this somewhere - I can't remember where lol, but yes I quite often feel like that. As i put it before, an 'amnesia' sort of thing, where everything was wiped. If I had no recollection of it, there would be no pain would there? I also almost considered hypnotism lol (don't know if that would actually work, but i was desparate lol)

 

But on the other hand, its good to have the memories, good and bad, because as someone said to me in my thread about it, its from these memories and experiences that we grow stronger, once we get through the intial shock/pain/devastation etc.

[HyruleGuardian]

All the time!! I made a thread about this somewhere - I can't remember where lol, but yes I quite often feel like that. As i put it before, an 'amnesia' sort of thing, where everything was wiped. If I had no recollection of it, there would be no pain would there? I also almost considered hypnotism lol (don't know if that would actually work, but i was desparate lol)

 

But on the other hand, its good to have the memories, good and bad, because as someone said to me in my thread about it, its from these memories and experiences that we grow stronger, once we get through the intial shock/pain/devastation etc.

 

No doubt about it...

 

I've definitely learned a lot from the experience, but that doesn't wipe away the memories of us happy and together. If only those would go away then I'd be completely happy.

[Jess...]

No doubt about it...

 

I've definitely learned a lot from the experience, but that doesn't wipe away the memories of us happy and together. If only those would go away then I'd be completely happy.

 

I know exactly how you feel, it's awful isn't it. Take comfort in knowing you aren't alone, and i hope we can both push through this, we will win this fight, and when we come out on the other side, we will have even better memories with someone who is even better than our exs were