Response to my apology: why not?

[Marilou26]

Hello dear people, could you please offer me some advice?

 

My s/o and I broke up last week. I have been divorced and I met him and we feel in love several months ago.We were very much in love. He shared so much with me, but suddenly started withdrawing. He was also very busy. This made me slightly insecure, and I needed to talk with him about it. The more he withdrew, the more I needed to talk. The classical push-pull thing. I think I was able to control my emotions quite well, but I am sure that to him I seem insecure and needy and I think he is disappointed with me. I let him go and told him that he could think about us, and come back to me whenever he is really ready for me ( we are both in our 30's). He said he wanted me back, did not want to leave. Then he emailed me later saying that it was over, it stressed him out too much, he could not give me what I need. I responded with an apology, that I did not want to lose him, but just wanted him to go and think about us, that a break would be the only possibility for now, so he could think whether he really wanted me or not. And then I NEVER heard from him again ( this is Long Distance, by the way).

I am confused: Is it not the decent thing to respond to the dumpee when she asks for forgiveness? Even to say that the break-up is permanent?

Why did he not even respond to my apology?

 

Thanks.

[Scotcha]

If someone broke up with me and then said, "When you're ready to, come back," and then ignored my saying that I wanted to stay in the relationship... I probably wouldn't have responded to an e-mail either.

 

Or perhaps he really was withdrawing and you gave him an easy out.

 

In either senario, I would be inclined to save my pride and not contact him again.

[Marilou26]

I did respond to his "wanting to stay". I told him how I felt, and that I thought it was the ebst for both of us. The he broke up, and I apologized for my confusion. I asked him for forgiveness and told him about my mistakes. I responded always to his emails, even when he broke up...

What could this mean? Easy way out? Or is he hurting?

[treefrogkate]

I responded with an apology, that I did not want to lose him, but just wanted him to go and think about us, that a break would be the only possibility for now, so he could think whether he really wanted me or not.

 

Did you actually say that a break was the only possibility? If you did, then in doing that, you basically said that his feelings didn't count, and that it didn't matter that he did not want to be with you anymore. I can understand why he didn't contact you again in that situation.