VaNessa1607306442 Posted January 5, 2003 Share Posted January 5, 2003 I just turned 13 in december.I am 3 weeks pregnant.I am not sure if i can handle the pressure of being a mom.I am afraid to tell my dad and stepmom,not to mention the rest of my family.My mom died 2 years ago she would have understood.But on the top of being only 13 and gonna have a baby,the father of the child is black.And i am white.I have grew up in a very racial household when it comes to mixing,they believe in black friends but definatly not mixing.My mom taught me on the other hand u luv what u luv no matter what color or backround they may have come from.I have started getting them use to the idea of me dating black guys but........i am not sure how to tell them i slept with one.He is fifteen and has another kid who is 1 year old,the reason he is not with her is cuz ontop of him getting a girl pregnant she told his parents he raped her.When he didn't.She tells her little daughter to not call him daddy it is so sad when you see the look on his face.I asked him if he ever got to see her and he said he'd die if he didn't get to see his baby .I want to keep the baby but i am living with my 38 year old sister who said she would kick me out if i got pregnant.So.....i don't know what to do. Can someone please help me!!! thanx VaNessa Link to comment
CodeMaster7 Posted January 5, 2003 Share Posted January 5, 2003 if i were you i would make an abortion.. really.. you ruin your whole youth! you are 13, you wanna go out with friends, have fun and i bet you wouldn't really want to care about a baby yet. obviously you can't talk to your stepmum about it, so i'd just tell it the doctor.. he is bound to professional discretion.. i don't know if it works the same way where you live though wish you the best for your future! pls use prevention next time.. Link to comment
Hoops Posted January 5, 2003 Share Posted January 5, 2003 VaNessa I commend you on your courage to ask for anonymous advice on the Internet. By coming forward and asking for help from people who don't know or will judge you tells me that you're an intelligent and resourceful young woman who seriously wants to learn. First of all, may I say I'm sorry you lost your mom at such a young age. She sounds like she was very unbiased, and loved life. Please note that she is watching over you and will help you find the way, all you have to do is believe in yourself, and believe in your heart, and stay strong. Your situation is one of great concern for anyone who reads your post, due to the fact that you are indeed very young to find yourself in this situation. If your sister threatened to kick you out if she finds out you're about to become a mom, I would suggest you look for another place to live, either with friends, other family members, perhaps a church or counselling referral? There are many options for you, and if you research and find them, you can make a better decision about your next move. You were proactive to seek advice on the Internet-so continue to be proactive in finding another way to continue with your decision to become a mom. And never stop being proactive about your life-you are the one in control-you control your destiny-and soon you will be in charge and responsible for another human being that will be totally dependent upon you. Use the resources out there that can help you. I can't think of any services offhand, but maybe Planned Parenthood or just look in your directory for pregnancy services. You mentioned you had doubt about the responsibility of being a mom. There are services and counselors that can help you make responsible and informed decisions about your concerns and doubts. It's okay to have doubts-every woman does, I don't care HOW OLD they are-age is not a prerequisite for feeling TOTALLY confident about being a mom. Take care of yourself, take care of your body and mind, and most of all, never forget that the decisions you make now you and only you control. You can do this...like I said-you have your mom watching over you, and you are strong and resourceful. Never stop learning, growing, and moving forward resposibly in your life. Good luck and God Bless. Link to comment
kirsty Posted January 5, 2003 Share Posted January 5, 2003 hi, I am really sorry that you are having a hard time but I hope I can sympathise because I got pregnant at 14 and had my daughter when I was 15. It has been very hard and I feel I have missed a lot of my childhood but she is ten next month and I love her to bits. Having said that tho, I am not with her dad anymore (he was violent) and I have had a MASSIVE amount of help from my mum and dad, they have looked after her for me when I thought I couldnt carry on. I dont know who the person is who so easily posted that you shoudl just 'get an abortion' but they have gotta realise it aint that easy!! I got pregnant when I was 16 again by the same person (i was still with him then) and had an abortion as I was on the verge of lesving him, it wasnt a nice experience but I am glad now that I did. No one can tell you what to do but I think that you seem to have a lot of odds stacked against you and I think it would be even harder for you than it was for me and you need to decide and go for it asap, either abort or tell your dad. I am very sorry about ya mum, I cant imagine how that must feel but I am sure if there is a heaven that she is looking out for you. The racial thing is just poor in this day and age, what the hell does skin colour matter? that makes me cross!! Take care, I hope you decided whats best for you and it all works out x Link to comment
somedude Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 was there protection...? my cousin had was pregnant at 14 and had the child one month after she turned 15. she was able to manage but it was hard for her she struggled and struggled. then years later she had another one at 18. i tell you from looking at her dont start a trend and be a little smarter next time. if you dont want to have the hardships of parent hood get a abortion and try in confedentiality. or you can come clean tell your family and hope they except it Link to comment
aliciaborg Posted March 3, 2003 Share Posted March 3, 2003 not all people know what they're talking about. when ppl say it will ruin ur youth and stuff like that, dont listen to them.i had my baby at 15, just a lil alder than you and it didnt ruin my life at all. i go out and do a lot of stuff with my daughter, shes my whole world, and i thought the same things as you, but none of it happened. i think i'm a great mom, my daughter is very well taken care of, i live with my boyfriend and when i get out of college we're getting married and when i wanna lil while to myself he wathces our baby and i go out with my friends, and i get homeschooled but its good enough for me. i love my daughter and i was the one that got pregnant with her so i think abortion isnt an aption. killing an unborn baby i think is wroung. when ppl say you cant do it dont listen. i have hope for anyone that has a lil hope in themselves..good luck..alicia Link to comment
aliciaborg Posted March 6, 2003 Share Posted March 6, 2003 telling ppl they should kill themselves is very unthoughtfull, and if thats all you have to say i dont think you should have stated your opinion. Link to comment
AbbAbb Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 personally i think you should keep the baby and if it gets way to strenuous put him/her up for adoption.....abortion is killing...you brought this life of this innocent little devoloping baby upon yourself...that baby didnt ask to come into the world yet, so i dont think you should waste the life of a helpless baby....give him/her a life they can be happy with....i have 4 friends who are adopted and they are just like a normal kid...they could care less if they were adopted or not...they are happy with a loving family, not that you couldent be loving also but i am 13 too and i know that with all of my activities and school and friends that would be way to much...thats throwing away your childhood almost, and remember, you can get visitation rights!!! please think about this and what a beautiful child you could have living, just mayabe with other people.!!! please. Link to comment
kirsty Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 out of the mouth of a babe................................................ i understand where you are coming from saying all this but you yourself are only 13 and have yet to learn how the world works!!! Link to comment
jafreak Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 hey. im 14 and i just became a mommy on January 7th. I love my son a lot and I know its hard for us (me and my fiance) but were making it. I was also pregnant when i had just turned 13. I was raped though. I was thinking the same things that you thought, but then i lost my baby when I was only 2 months. in june, i had an abortion, and i knew i could never do it again. they had gotten 1 baby, and hadnt know about the other. My son was a twin. I grieved over that baby for weeks and i realized as soon as i walked out of the abortion clinic that it was the wrong thing to do. I felt so guilty. Don't worry about anything, anyone says becuase you are better than that.. and remember.. Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I would give u more info but i broke my thumb 2 days ago and its kind of hard to type. Link to comment
WomackC706 Posted January 27, 2004 Share Posted January 27, 2004 VaNessa I commend you on your courage to ask for anonymous advice on the Internet. By coming forward and asking for help from people who don't know or will judge you tells me that you're an intelligent and resourceful young woman who seriously wants to learn. Well, I think that you are way to young to be making such a 'love commitment'. My sister is 14 years old, and I love her to death! HOWEVER, if I found out that she was pregnant at her age, I would have to kick her ass. I don't mean to be mean or anything but, there is no way on earth that you should be pregnant. You should use condoms or be on birth control or anything. There are ways to prevent this. Did you not use them? The 'courage' that is quoted above should have been used at the cash register at walmart to buy condoms NOT to be on the internet discussing your unplanned pregnancy at age 13. I think that you are way too young to be having sex, but you need to deal with the consequences. You should have used protection. I don't believe in abortion because that CHILD inside of YOUR 13 year-old body is ALIVE. Abortion would be killing your baby. You need to tell your parents no matter what.... and as far as you telling a doctor to avoid telling your parents is bull because the doctor has to tell them because you are a minor and treatment will cost lots of $$$ and you will have to consult with your parents about insurance. GOOD LUCK! BUT NEXT TIME USE PROTECTION! If you are going to lay down and have sex, BE RESPONSIBLE! ~C~ Link to comment
Dark Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 JEEEZZZ do you kids know a word CONDOM???? man what were you two thinking? Link to comment
Toaster Posted February 25, 2004 Share Posted February 25, 2004 You guys really don't need to dog her out. Im sure shes gonna hear it enough from her parents. I haven't even told mind and I know im going to hear it. When someone comes on her looking for advice or confidence they don't need the "you should of done that" "i would kick my sisters *beep* if she was" Trust me it wont help anyones situation. Anywho- Im sorry that this is happening to you as I am to me. Yet your probably in a more difficult situation then I am... I hope everything works out. Keep me informed on how it goes so I may know what to exspect... Link to comment
cakes Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Hi Vanessa As i was saying to a lot of young pregnant teens here. When i went to my local clinic to ask about pregnancy options in case i was in the situation. One clealry stood out to me that i think clearly applies to you. If you are early on in your pregnancy like you are now, There is this option of taking a pill that will abort your baby thru your monthly period you get. At age 13, as much as you think you want a child, it is not an appropriate age to. How much doy ou have in your bank account? AT that age, i'm not sure that you have enough to continally support yourself or your child. And with the sounds of your sister, i'm not sure she'll approve of it too much. You have the rest of your life to live and so many more experiences to go through...When the time comes when you are ready to really have a child, you'd appreiciate it more than wanting to have the child because the father of hte child may seem like he wants it. Think reasonaly adn logically dont let other things cloud your mind about the truth of the matter. You are too young, but please hold yourself up and stick it through. Go to the doctor and tell him yoru situation and do what is best. Link to comment
kirsty Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Why are people still replying when this person will either have had her baby or aborted it by now?? best of luck to her whatever she did but it was 2 years ago nearly!!!! Link to comment
JustAChick Posted March 27, 2004 Share Posted March 27, 2004 I know you're probably scared to death about telling your parents & family, but honestly there is no other way to do it. You can try Planned Parenthood and they'll definitely help out (if you plan to abort your baby). Please, take better precautions next time you decide to have sex. It's a serious matter and girls your age should be focusing on school, friends, family, etc.... to prevent future risks, use a condom! What were you thinking letting a boy ejaculate inside of you? We, as women, are always at a high risk of getting pregnant. Link to comment
GBGAL34 Posted April 1, 2004 Share Posted April 1, 2004 I agree with the others...I say you are very courageous for looking for help right now. There are plenty of agencies in your own community that would be able to point you in the right direction for help. My personal opinion...abortion is never an option...that baby is a GIFT whether you are 13 or 30. You could try call the Health Department in your town...they should have a list of agencies that can help you. Be confident in all the decisions you make...you have now stepped into the adult world and must begin looking at your life that way. You have to grow up quick...but, if you truly care about this baby & yourself, you will do the right thing. GOOD LUCK...and have faith! Link to comment
EmmaB Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 i agree with most of the other gurlz here. u r way 2 young 2 b havin sex but its been dun. i think you should hav an abortion or something because i think its better 2 kill an unborn un developed child than put one up for adoption making his/her life as he knos it probably HELL. hope u make a gd decision here. gd luck xxx emma xxx Link to comment
The Captain Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 please vanessa whatever you do do not ever get an abortion you are ruining someone's chance of life Link to comment
DragonSlayerX Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 i agree with cap do not get a abortion w/e u do dont you see wat they do 2 children that are aborted they are beat up and they dont get fed very well...i know how you feel my friend has the same prob and well just dont abort please...if required i will help u anyway i can Link to comment
butterfly_chic578 Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 simlar thing my dad is very racest and my mom was to and very scary is that my mom died 5 years ago so i kno what kind of house hold u live in but i dono bout babys ........ i think that mabye u should jst tell then and just go with ur heart!!!! i mean wha else can work its what started all of this right? Link to comment
Artorres Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 As you might be able to tell, she had her baby 2 years ago.... Link to comment
Artorres Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 nevermind, I am an idiot. I am sorry I looked at it wrong Link to comment
amberkells Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 i really think that if you cannot support yourself( since ur living with someone) u should never kill it! Give it up for adoption because you can atleats give them a life that you knew you could never give to them and you will be able to see them in the future and hopefully be in there life. remember its their life too ( the baby) be smart! You can do it! Link to comment
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