WomackC706

Thank you for your help. I greatly appreciate it!!!!! Constance

I never thought I would, but I did 4 years ago. David was and is the best thing to have happened to me. Lately, I have just felt overwhelmed and depressed myself. I usually keep the depressed overwhelmed feelings to myself. I just feel that if I don't say something is wrong, nothing is wrong. The past 2 months I have given myself a rough time. I don't know what is wrong with me, but lately I feel like I am overwhelmed, depressed, and feel that I cannot make him happy anymore. Last night we had a fight. This morning I was crying in the bathroom floor. I grabbed about 3 bottles of pills and locked myself in our bedroom. David basically kicked down the door and took them from me. I just felt like he would be better off without me. What can I do to help me?

meaning --- move out, bring it up, etc.

If things didn't change at all, I would still marry David. He is the man that I know I was meant to be with. I have prayed about this and have received the same response from the Lord. He is a great man... I suppose that if this is the worst problem we have, then I am doing good huh? I mean he has never hit me, abused me, cheated on me, left me, been mean to me, said mean things about or to me, etc.

I didn't get engaged to him because I thought that he would change when we got engaged or married. I said yes because I love him and he loves me. We have had many chances to leave in these years together. I would rather feel awful everyday than to be without him one day. I know that sounds so despereate, but I really am not. I have had guys ask me out since David and I have been together, but I love him---No one else! I think that it will get a little bit better after we are married because the major reason that we are not having sex a whole lot (as much as we have agreed that we would like to) because we don't want to get pregnant (just because we would like to finish school first, but if we got pregnant, it wouldn't be earth shattering). We have agreed on an amount of love making that we would like to have while we are married, and it is a good amount.

I have asked him his fantasies (in a playful way), worn lingerie, tried to play sex games, etc. But nothing seems to work. His family never talked to him about sex, where mine did. He says that that is why he looks at the porn, because he didn't have to ask about it. It is there. But I am there now. I am very easy to please. I am always all about pleasing him.. I just like to make him feel good, although sometimes he just wants to please me and that gets him off. I just think that it is me---that I have gained too much weight and he finds it more pleasureable to be alone --because I have noticed that he visits these sites as soon as I leave for work. I have suggested that us watching them together, but he doesn't want to. He wants to say nothing about it. I suppose I would feel better if he would be honest with me, let me watch with him (sometimes), etc.

I have discussed my feelings with him many times. I says he will do better and does for a while, but it always reverts to porn. I am most upset because I can tell when he is trying not to look at it because he wants to have sex with me more; however, when he is looking at it, we rarely have sex (rarely = 1 a month). I am also upset because he is paying to see these women naked and everything and he knows that I will try anything that he wants to. I have in the past and I don't see why he can't ask me to do the things that they do that he likes. I have never been ashamed of him before, but with this animal sex stuff--- I am beyond embarrassed!!!! We moved in together because I cannot afford to live anywhere else (his parents offered to pay for us to live together). And we do love each other and want to be married. We got engaged when he was doing very well! Our relationship was very healthy then. Maybe I shouldn't be looking in his things---for any reason--and I won't see it. Ya know, ignorance is bliss?!?!!?!

My fiance and I have always had a \n open relationship, except when it comes to porn. That is his dirty, black secret he wants no one to know about, but I think that it is getting out of hand. When we first got together, I didn't know about this problem because we lived about 4 hrs away from each other; however, 6 months into our relationship we got to see each other about every other day (if not every day). I was making a cd of pictures and movies of us so I could make a scrapbook. There were more than just pictures and movies about David and me, if you get my drift. So, I saw those and it made me soooo uncomfortable and disrespected and repulsed and cheated on. I am a large framed (well, athletic with a bit of baggage), brunette, DD breasts, and an olive complexion. He looks at tiny, skinny, pale skinned, blonde females with tiny (almost non existent) breasts. THE EXACT OPPOSITE FROM ME. I told him that it made me feel like that was his 'dream girl' and I was just there. We are each other's first and (hopefully) last sex partners. So, he told me he would not do it again, and didn't until about 1 1/2 years ago. I noticed that we were having less and less sex and he was having less and less money (or it was going faster). I went over to his apartment about a month later and walked in his room to use the restroom and saw that a porn video he had paid for and downloaded was still on the screen. He knew I was coming over and left it there. I was so upset, I had to go for about an hour. I came back and he told me that he didn't want to have sex anymore because he was worried about me getting pregnant (which we always use a condom and I am on the pill). I told him that that was fine (even though it wasn't) and that we could always take care of his huge needs in other ways. He agreed not to look at that anymore and allow me to take care of him. About a month after that agreement, we decided to give sex another try. We got engaged in March and moved in together in August (mostly for financial reasons). The other day, he wanted me to look at his bank statement because he didn't know where $30 had gone. I saw that he was charged three times for three different porn sites. It was almost $40! I looked up the sites and two were just of regular people having sex or females masturbating, whatever; however, the third website was of females banging horses. YUCK! It was a trial membership to this site, but the point is that he wanted to look at that. Around the time that he signed up for it, we were barely having sex at all (maybe 1-2 every 2 weeks). In the past 4 weeks, we have had sex ONE time!!! ONE TIME!!!! I don't think that he fully understands how this makes me feel. That he would rather get off to females masturbating, having sex, or even having sex with animals than to have sex with me --- his soon to be wife. I don't know how to explain this to him---that I want him to want me, not the computer screen. I mean I thought we weren't having sex as much anymore because I wasn't trying hard enough. I bought a book on how to pleasure a man and have read about half of it. I try to get him in the mood, but every time I suggest something sexual or sensual all I get is rejected. I know I have put on some weight in our 2 1/2 years together, but what else could I be doing wrong. He doesn't want to talk about his problem. I think it is an addicition. I have looked up sex / porn addicition online and tried to show him, but he just got mad and wouldn't talk to me for about a week. WHAT DID I DO WRONG? WHAT SHOULD I DO? I am almost at the point to where I don't care anymore. This breaks my heart and I don't know what to do, say, feel, or think. PLEASE HELP ME before I make a decision I will regret.

THANK YOU sooo much! I really appreciate your information and care. I wanted to let you know that my 'visitor' arrived today.... 3 days late and 2 PG tests later! But nonetheless, Aunt Flo is here! Once again, thank you! You really made me feel so much better about the situation!!!! Constance

I like my name Constance Nicole and my sister's name Bethany Hope. Boys names -- Edwin, Michael, Seth, Brandon, Brennan, David, Bryan

The source of her irregular periods could be stress, weight gain or loss, maturity, chemical inbalance, etc. BUT only the doctor can tell her if it is something that she should be concerned about. You could always go to the Health Department or a Free Planned Parenting Clinic. Their services are usually cheap and confidential, especially since she is 18+. That is a great option if you aren't wanting to discuss you relationship honestly with parents.

I had irregular periods before going to the gyno and getting birth control pills. I am 21 and understand that you both are apprehensive about discussing your activity with your parents (or at least hers), but, trust me, it would be better for them to know now then to find out if she should become pregnant. Right? I mean it was very hard to tell my mother when I started having sex with my fiance, although I tell her everything, but it all worked out. My fiance told his parents (which we were very scared about because they are very conservative about everything), but we knew the risks we were taking by having sex (i.e: getting pregnant). We knew that it was better to tell them now then wait until I found out I was 'with child'. I am sure that you have nothing to worry about with the multiple tests being negative, but you two should definitely be honest about your relationship.

I have been stressed out a great deal lately and I have been sick for about a week and a half. Could those also be factors?

I am almost 22 and, since being on the pill, things with my periods have become irregular. This was the first time that I had ever missed a period. I have been late before or it only last a day or 2, but never missed. I am hoping and praying that I get it. I mean I am only 2 days late, but it still concerns me.

Hey! I have been taking Yasmin birth control pills for about 2 years. My fiance and I have ALWAYS used those pills and spermicidal condoms to ensure that we don't have any unexpected situations pop up. Before taking these pills, I could go 6 months without a period and then have one for a solid month. I mean I was extremely irregular with my periods. These pills have helped soooooooo much! And no mood swings, but anyway. I have taken these pills at the same time very single day. When my periods come, they are usually at the same time of the week and generally for the same about of days. This month, I have not gotten my period. My fiance and I haven't had sex in about 3 weeks. I am kind of worried because I have been taking the pills when I am supposed to without missing a single one, and we have been using condoms. Do you think that my body may have become 'immune' to the pills --meaning used to the pills and has gone back to my old period pattern? I took two pregnancy tests and they were both very negative (no sight of the 'pregnancy' line at all). So, I am quite sure that I am not pregnant. I am just worried about my health. Do you think that I could be 'broke' --not able to have any children? Thanks!

Thanks, Adelle!!! This made me feel better. I have really thought about things and he and I talked about this problem, because it isn't his problem or my problem...It is our problem. He has agreed to pay more 'attention' to me and less to the computer. He says that he will continue to try to cease looking at these sites because he knows it is hurting us... He says that he has been trying, but before he met me, he had never had sex or anything with anyone so that was his way of 'releasing'. I suppose I can understand that, but it does have to stop (at least paying for it). THANKS AGAIN.

Ok-- My insecurities are not because I believe that he doesn't love me.. They are because the women he CHOSES to look at are nothing like me. The first time we had a fight about this, he promised me he would stop (aka---he wouldn't let me find it). For about a year and a half, I never found a thing (and NO I wasn't wanting to find anything...I never looked. It was always obvious if he had). Now, he has subscribed to two sites that he pays ($45 every 3 months, and $10 every month) and to me that is like cheating. He is paying to see naked women who look nothing like me and they 'please' him the way that only I should. When I feel in the mood and I am not with him, I simply just wait until I see him. And Yes! It does affect our sex life. If I come home from work and I wanna do something (oral sex, intercourse, etc.) and he says no, I can look on our computer and see that he has looked at it.. Or in the middle of the night he will grab the laptop and take it in the living room and watch this porn while he knows all he has to do is touch me and I will be ready. I just don't understand why this is happening! It makes me feel like sex with me is awful or my body looks awful because I am not 120 pounds with no boobs. So, should I just be anorexic and lose my weight and boobs? THEN will he stop? If I look like them and act skanky like them?

HI! I recently found out that my fiance is looking at pornography on the internet ..... again! He promised me that he wouldn't do it anymore because the only fights we have ever had within these past 2.5 years have been about porn (other than one fight). I found it on our computer and was upset. It is of girls that are nothing like me... I am a fullfigured girl with a tan and brown hair. He looks at shinny (ribs showing) girls with no boobs at all. I want to understand why he feels the need to look at this, especially when he knows that I am ready and willing all the time to have sex or take care fo his needs whenever he needs or desires it. I want him to stop!!!! How can I get him to stop? He doesn't want to talk about it... Everytime I even think about this I get repulsed and don't even wanna have sex or be near him. HELP ME UNDERSTAND HIM and WHAT TO DO TO STOP IT!!!! Thanks

Well, last night my boyfriend decided that he wanted to spice things up in the bedroom... He is usually the quiet type that doesn't talk about sex a lot. thereforeeee his attitude is very weird, but GREAT! So, we were to a sex shop and bought some things. As soon as we got in the car, he was speeding home and whistling and everything. LOL! I mean it literally. Well, needless to say, all of the toys got used, and everything was amazing because he was doing it to me (not me doing it to myself, ya know?). I asked him on the way to the sex shop if he knew of anything that I could do to make the experience better for him and he said, "No, Baby! You do everything great! I don't think it could be better." I want to prove him wrong. So, I need the best ideas you have to do a few things: 1. Spicy things up 2. Make him eat those words 3. Make him last longer (because he said that that is something he \ wants to do anyway). 4. Just make our love making session the best that they can be (and make him wanna jump me more ) So, I am open to ANYTHING that ya'll can say.... I've tried lingerie from Victoria Secret, but he said that stuff like that doesn't get him 'off'. I think that that is such a lie though... How could you not be turned on from lingerie???? A girl half naked???? But this lingerie was the cutesy, non-revealing type, but kinda see though. Think I should try some other type (A more revealing, more see through lingerie?) ????? Thanks!!!!!!!!

I did go on the pill to regular my period, but it didn't regular it at all.. It just gave me mood swings like they were going outta style. So I stopped taking them.. Now we just use spermicide (for me) and condoms (spermicidal for him) every time just about (always a condom, but not always both).... Constance

Ok----So, I am 19 and from the time I was 11 until about 14 I had a regular period. Once a month, my 'visitor' was there. Since I turned 14, which was 5 years ago, I rarely ever have a period. I can go 6 months without having one and then have one for a solid month. I went to my Gyno and he said it was a hormone / chemical imbalance, that I was flucuating weight, and / or stress.... I was just wondering if anyone knew that if someone didn't have a period woudl she be a risk of getting pregnant..... (I still use condoms and spermicide)

I agree with this. My younger sister is 14. If she told me she was pregnant, I would beat her (lol---jk). I would be disappointed because there are sooo many ways to take precautions to ensure you don't get pregnant (aka--knocked up) or get a disease. I think that at 14 years old you are not equiped to be able to handle being sexually active. You should abstain... Tell your parents and deal with your consequences. YOU ARE 14! If you can support your children that you made, then you should give them away--give them to someone who can. But, if I were you and being sexually active, I would take precautions and think about you or your boyfriend getting 'fixed' because apparently (even though you have had children already) you are not going to stop. Good Luck!

THANKS! That means a lot

I do think that it is very healthy to fight sometimes, but we fight about the stupidest things in the world... usually things that we would never fight about if we were together... For the first 6months of our relationship we never fought except for those two things. But now it is weird. They are stupid fights..... How do I make these things stop?

Ok! Hello! So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. We, other than 2 fights (one about porn and one about a pain in the @$$ ex-gf of his) never fought. I go to school 3 hours away from where he goes. This distance, although very small, has caused a great deal of pain in our relationship. We never fight except when we are apart. And we don't fight all the time or everytime we are apart either. Is this bad? Next school year, I will be within 10-20 minutes away from him. So, it won't be so bad. I don't want to throw away a year tha twe have been together and the promise we made to each other that we would get married, but do you think we will be ok? How do I get this stupid fighting to stop? THanks!