Stuck In The Middle

[lilcherub]

I find myself turning to complete strangers for opinions/advice.

 

I never saw my friend as anything more then a good friend and then

4months ago (my friend)asked me how I felt about marriage, and if I would become his wife. This came after we had been separated by countries/states. I said yes not knowing what I was in store for. After we got engaged, I started getting phone calls from him at all hours upset because a few of his ex's were trying hard to come between his feeling for me. To the point that one tried to kill herself, and the other well has been threatening to harm herself, because of his constant refusal to get back with either of them. I have been waiting patiently for his return, I have been understand each time he has had to cancel his flights (now being #6) First few flights due to death in the family,births,his one ex in the hospital,the last two because he other ex started talking about harming herself if he left, and then me argueing with him telling him to go be with his other ex then if he is so concerned for her safety that he would allow it to come between our future marriage. Am I being selfish?Anyway meanwhile during all these events happening someone that I have been corresponding with has come out and told me how interested he is in one day meeting me. And then the topic marriage came up with him also. Call me lonely,call me confused. I am stuck in the middle. I love the first guy dearly, and would love to be his wife because of are strong friendship/connection.But lately i have been getting more attention from a guy over the internet then my own fiancee.

 

Any comments, ideas, advice .....

 

It would be appreciated dearly,

 

Lilcherub

[sabena]

Can I ask you what you think marriage will give you?

 

Are you hoping for love, companionship, ever lasting friendship and never to be alone again?

 

I ask this because marriage is a lot more than this and shouldn't be entered into lightly. If you are lonely and feel unloved you will not get this from marrying someone so suddenly, if anything your loneliness will get worse and then you will feel trapped on top.

 

For some reason you come over as looking for marriage as a way out and this is not a good reason for this life long committment. We all get lonely in our lives for one reason or anyother...but you must learn that until you are happy with yourself you will never get true happiness and love from a partner...

 

The person you should marriage should be someone who you feel you cannot be apart from and want to have children with, travel with, live with for the rest of your lives..it should be a bonus to marry not a need...and right now it comes over that marriage to you is a need..