Loneliness sucks!

[rustygirl]

I just realized tonight, that I have had a best friend (different ones throughout, but at least ONE at any given time) for about 20 years straight... but have not even had (excepting my boyfriend) a CLOSE friend in the last 2 years. I'm feeling this loss very acutely tonight. My boyfriend HAS been my best friend, but who am I to hang out with when he is busy? Who am I to eat ice-cream with, shop and boy-bash with when we have a fight? Who am I to wake up in the middle of the night (like tonight) and cry my eyes out to because I'm sad, and lonely? (knowing if I wake him up, he'll think I'm blaming my feelings on him) I live practically in the middle of nowhere, there are 4 girls I know relatively close in age (within 30 years LOL) but one of them has no need for new friends, and isn't around much, another is a psychotic alcoholic 'everyone else should take care of me' type of person, another happens to be a very hard-to-like person (mean, vindictive, needy, controlling etc.etc.) and the last is probably the best candidate, 1st of all because she isn't any of the others (haha) and 2nd because we get along really well... the problem? we're very different when it comes to things we enjoy doing. She's a 'small group' type of person, while I'm a very 'the more the merrier' type. She's also quite a bit older than myself, and from a different country (so many of our outlooks although similar are quite different.)

 

So that's why I'm here. To vent I guess, and maybe get some outlooks on what someone else thinks.

 

So yep, that's it =)

[rustygirl]

Well... LOL I guess it's something I'm just going to have to deal with.... alone

 

LOL

 

ahhhhhhhhh

[Daligal83]

I don't know where you live, but most communities have town activities you can join. Like a book club, or take classes, or a community service group. Maybe you can find out the different organizations around your community and join one. You can meet a lot of great people that way, and you'll automatically have something in common.

[southerngirl]

Well, you could come on here and vent.

 

We will be your friends =-)

[askauntamy]

Best friends take time to develop. If you don't see any potential candidates, just look for people who you can be friends with.

 

Incidentally, you may not find your best friend in your town. Why not look for a supportive online pal?

[rustygirl]

I live in a very remote area =)

 

The problem is unless religious, or alcohol related, there's really NOTHING to do near me. When I moved into my house a couple years ago, there were less than 10 people living within 20 acres of me.... and I'm not going to go door-to-door to find a friend LOL The only things that exist out here are a couple of gas stations, a couple of bars, a church and a school. =p

 

I have gone to play games at the church once... I was the youngest person there by a good many years (not that hanging out with 'old' people is bad.... but it's hard to talk to them about some of the 'issues' I'd like to talk about at times LOL)

 

I guess that's really all I needed to hear though =) Just to have someone reply I suppose, feel like someone at least HEARD what I had to vent without getting mad at me ^_^

[rustygirl]

Best friends take time to develop. If you don't see any potential candidates, just look for people who you can be friends with.

 

Incidentally, you may not find your best friend in your town. Why not look for a supportive online pal?

 

 

Sort of like a pen-pal via the internet? LOL

Where would I even start to look?

[robowarrior]

Well this is a 2 fire type of problem, in the remote area no friends, if you'd move to another town, then you'll see that that town has problems of its own to deal with. So either take the lonelyness for what it is, or plan with your bf to move to a town/city , its a very hard choice, and if you are going to make the move, you will have to do excruciatingly well done research before you move into a new area.

 

This by searching internet, and talking to a bunch of people who live in that new area about the benefits/disadvantages, so you get a relativly good perception of what the area has to offer, you have to be honest about it tho, because lying to yourself can only result into coming into an area you may not at all want to be in.

[SW]

Just curious, why do you live in such a remote area?

[RooferGirl23]

I have just about no friends or a social life since i have so many kids. (7 total) and when i hear stuff about drama and gossip friends can sometimes cause, Im glad that I dont at times. yes, it gets lonely but predictable and safe. (and enotalone is loaded with people to talk to, i love it here and you will too!)

[askauntamy]

Well, forums like this one! I belong to a couple of etiquette forums, which are surprisingly fun. Forums surrounding weight loss are particularly good, because you're there to motivate each other. Bonds grow.

[rustygirl]

Just curious, why do you live in such a remote area?

So either take the lonelyness for what it is, or plan with your bf to move to a town/city

 

We just moved OUT of the city 2 years ago, mainly because it's the only place I could afford a house without taking out a loan, and having a place that was paid for is VERY important to me because my whole life it seems we were always a hair from being homeless. We've considered moving back, but prices have more than doubled since we left, our credit isn't that good... and we really like our home. We now have a little bit of land, you can see the stars at night, it's quiet, not so much pollution, no landlord, no mortgage... in fact, if it wasn't for the lack of people, this place would be perfectamundo!

 

I have just about no friends or a social life since i have so many kids. (7 total) and when i hear stuff about drama and gossip friends can sometimes cause, Im glad that I dont at times. yes, it gets lonely but predictable and safe. (and enotalone is loaded with people to talk to, i love it here and you will too!)

 

I do enjoy coming here when I have an issue I need help working out, but I don't think anything really beats talking face-to-face with someone you know cares. Drama is just the spice of life LOL But I guess I do prefer the lonliness over some of the 'friends' I used to have before we moved. (Yet another reason we moved was to 'get away' from some of the trouble-makers we used to hang out with.)

 

 

I'm not quite so depressed as I was when I posted this. I went and spent some time with my grandmother, my mother, and an old friend I hadn't seen in a number of years. So even that little bit of 'social time' I got really made me feel a ton better. And with Easter coming up, I'll be able to spend more time with family... It still would be nice to have a friend near by though LOL I guess I'll just have to go door-to-door