Why do I still care?

[redpoppy99]

I have been thinking about my ex a lot- not because I want them back only because I still care. This person was my first love, my first sexual partner- I really thought we'd be together forever. I was in high school, though.

 

I've always had a problem keeping NC- I want to know how things are, how their life is going. I kind of wonder if they miss me. Maybe that's just for gratification though. It was not a good break up- there was cheating on both sides and our families don't like each other... why do I still care so much? Do I still have feelings even though I tell myself I don't? I honestly don't want to get back together...

 

I recently got their email via text messaging. I haven't used it yet. I want to. Is this a bad idea? I always think I go through this over and over again because there was never closure- we talked and "saw" each other (having sex the whole time) until I decided I'd had enough and found someone else. The actual end of the relationship was abrupt- I was told one night by my ex that they could no longer talk to me because I was in a relationship. I decided to try and let them go but I can't- it's almost been two years.

 

Help and advice would be greatly appreciated...

[Ferion]

Always, before I go NC I get closure. Meaning, I tell them basically "Thanks for the memories. Have a good life. Bye forever". Its hard to say, but when you spit it out you'll feel a very good release of stress

 

The first one is probably the hardest one to get over. You think you're gonna be together forever. Get married. Have kids. I know the pain But you have to get over it man. Go out with someone new. But if you really can't get over it and you tried everything...you need proper closure.

 

What I'm saying is, I don't think you ever really got proper closure. Not like you really had the chance...but you need to get out everything you ever wanted to say to whoever it is. Write a letter. Don't send it out. Just write everything you wanted to say. Then burn it or something.

[redpoppy99]

You don't think I should write the letter and send it?

[anto11]

If you don't want to talk to this person anymore, don't send the letter, because your going to dig yourself a hole that is going to be very hard to get out of! If you send it, your emotions will get the best of you, and your going to end up talking and talking, and it's going to be a mess for you, since you said you didn't want to go back!