What's wrong with me?

[BigButtBrigg]

Ok, I am 18 and I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. He can be an ass hole and put me down, but I don't know if that is the cause of my emotional breakdowns. Ya see.....I watch tv, go to the mall, where-ever it is and when I see pretty girls or women this feeling of jelousy, anger, and low self esteem come over me. If I am with my boyfriend and a hott girl goes by and he looks at her, I feel even worse and I begin to cry....it's something I can't control.....I know I'm not ugly, I'm 5'8'', 115 lbs, long legs, and have an athletic body, but I don't know why I feel this way. I think it is partial depression, because I'll go to work or school and be happy and upbeat there, but then go home and cry for hours. I just feel so....ugly at times. I don't have strong trust in anyone, especially my boyfriend and he always talks about other girls and their appearance, so I don't know if that is the cause of all of this...this is how I have been the past year or so in a nut shell. Any advice would be appreciated!!! Thanks

[Gilgamesh]

Hey Finally a Florida poster.

 

mmm, You would be surprised how many teenage girls feel the way you do, even some guys too.

 

Now, your boy friend should treat you like a princess and the center of the universe, so he is not helping. but to heck with him, what does he know anyway?

 

your 5'11" at 115 lbs and athletic, wow you must be hot!!, listen everyone wishes they had something different on them, Im 41, and put braces on my teeth , (i did it before Tom Cruise, so I wsnt copying lol)

 

and those same girls you look at, many of them also wish they had, one thing or the other different about themselfs.

 

You need to love yourself, be happy with who you are, your a very special person, unique in your personality and in your beauty, unique!! so of course your going to be different!! its supposed to be that way.

 

So tell your boyfriend to stop dissing you, and treat you like the princess you are!!!

[simply complicated]

for one, you need to understand that from the sound of your description, you would be a perfect 10 in my books, long legs, athletic body....damnnnn...but still, even if others perceive you as whatever they think, your still unhappy with yourself, so basically you (from the sounds of it are beautiful don't look the way you wanna look, you need to imagine in your mind what you wanna look like, keep this picture in your head, once you find it, work towards achieving it, but most importantly, you need to talk to your b/f one on one, you need to tell him about your insecurities, he's not showing you the respect you deserve by looking at other women as they pass, if he knows this bothers you then why does he keep doing it, and if he does'nt know, then tell him, and be serious about it, make him understand that this is hurting you. i can bet that your beautiful, but you wanna make a few changes, so do it, but if your b/f won't help you achieve these goals, then you may have to consider the fact that he may be doing more damage then anything, in time wounds heal, in the end, you'll be alright...trust me

[faeriechyld]

Hello there,

I understand your worry over your appearance, and I'm concerned over the situation with your boyfriend. I've read your other posts, you seem so unhappy with him, and I think that is one of the main reasons you are so hard on yourself about your appearance.

You sound like a beautiful person, both inside and out, and I know that sometimes it is hard for each of us to see the beauty without, but it is there. My suggestion to you is simple, leave the unhappy relationship you have expressed before you are in, and find yourself. You must learn to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love and respect you. Your boyfriend does not seem to be respecting you, and that worries me. Once you begin to realize how beautiful you are, others will see it as well. As for your boyfriend, you know you deserve better than this, you've expressed it before in earlier posts. It's time to take that observation and follow through with it.

Best wishes.

[Spice]

This kind of brings back memories for me. I don't think that our insecurities are about our outer appearance. It's more about what goes on inside our heads, what we are saying to ourselves when something comes up that bothers us.

 

When I was in my late teens early twenties I was with a guy for three years. He cheated on me lied to me. He was always saying things like...I wish you looked like her. Or I wish your breasts where as big as hers. We would go to a party and he would leave me standing by myself to go flirt with another girl...but when a guy would come talk to me he would come back long enough to chase them off. Once, he wrecked my car because he was staring at a girl walking down the street.

 

In all this I had come to the conclusion that men could not love...that men where all pigs. To my surprise after 3 years I learned to hate him and left the relationship. HE was devastated. It took him a whole year to recover. He couldn't work, eat or sleep. I think the message I got from this was worse...that men could love, but STILL had no control.

 

I went on to marry a very nice man. But...I married this man because he had morals not because I was truly in love with him. It was a safe place to be. The marriage lasted 16 years. Now I am back out in the real world and I find that the scars are still with me. They come and go, and I have to remind my self constantly where they are coming from. The ugly monster inside creeps up and I have to smash it down. It is a battle to this day. 25 years later and I still carry these scars with me.

 

Brigg...if you can, if it's not to late, get out of this relationship. And don't think that this is enough. Once you get away from this relationship you need to do some thinking. You need to fix the damage that has been done to you or you will carry it into every relationship you enter from here on end.