Sweeney19 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Hi there, it's me again... It concerns about the same guy I posted here before. I asked him why he seem very different from the other men I've dated before. When I told him that he doesn't show excitement and romantic affections, he said he does it the other way around, meaning his feelings become more intense the longer he is with a woman. When I think about it, it didn't sound like anyone would stay and put up with it because how can you develop your feelings with someone who doesn't "ignite" you and treats you just like the next person? But then, on the other hand, wouldn't it be better that way? At least you will reap all the benefits and the goodness of the relationship in the end. So tell me, is anyone here tend to be the same person as this guy? He just absolutely plays it cool with me and I am just stumped with his unusual pattern, lol... Link to comment
rose2summer Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Some men are friends first kind of guys, some are magical wham I love you kind of guys. He seems like a friends first kind of guy. Now, that doesn't mean you have to follow that path with him too. What I am saying is, don't give him sexual gratification if he treats you just like a friend, Because then he realizes he can reap the benefits minus the work. Treat him as he treats you and you may find that he will change his "friendly" ways very quickly. Hugs, Rose Link to comment
Altruist Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 I'm kind of like that. Not that I can't express love. I'm just stoic. It doesn't mean that your bf doesn't love you. It just means he doesn't express himself very well. Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Everybody handles this in different ways. I know up to my most recent past, I used to fall headlong with people, rush into things, then it burns out quickly when I realize that this isn't the person for me. We'll leave my most recent relationship out as a "momentary lapse of reason" but I digress. I agree with the above, keep things on an even keel in terms of giving what you get, and see what happens. Or talk to him, there may be reasons for the way he is. Good luck! Dan on Long Island. Link to comment
Sweeney19 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 Ok, thanks for the inputs but I have something to add too... He lost his partner over 5 years ago to cancer which was sudden. When he found out about it, she only had nine days to live. Naturally, he was not prepared for it and felt so much guilt that they did not spend much time together in their 12 years together. He was a workaholic who worked 7 days a week and admitted that there's not many good times to remember being with her. Because of that, he talks about her constantly of how good she was and how he was lucky to have had her and wished he had done more. I understand all that but he is not talking to just someone, he is talking to me whom he may have a long-term relationship with just like this woman who had passed on. I know how he feels but I can only take so much of this. Should I really feel jealous of someone who doesn't even exist anymore? Link to comment
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