Why is it so hard to change?

[mintblossom]

1.Why is it so hard to change?

2. What is the process of change?

3. How am I going to become high functioning?

 

I think I've woken up everyday for 10 years saying "Today, I'm going to change." But I will usually go back to doing what I've been doing all along. I don't understand why it is so hard to change....and I don't understand how to change to become who I want to be.

 

I feel like I am low-mid functioning. Kind of functioning okay and average right now. But I am capable of more....I just don't know how.

 

Advice plz. Experiences shared. Etc.

 

I don't want to only say that I'm changing...I actually want to do so. But I feel I get in my own way. It's so easy to look at other people and to see what they SHOULD be doing or what decisions they SHOULD make. But then.....with myself...it is so much harder for me to see clearly......even though I think I would like to.

 

There is definitely some fear, trepidation, anxiety here....but....I gots to.

[Leonhart]

Because the neural pathways in our brains become more and more established over time, so it takes a lot of work and determination to reshape them.

[mintblossom]

So this has to do with the establishment of neurological pathways in the brain?

[Leonhart]

Basically.

 

So, what do you want to change specifically?

 

Are you able to see yourself - in your mind - as the type of person you want to become?

[mintblossom]

I have a good idea.

[fredthebread]

I agree with the neural pathways, but another linked idea is your unconscious. Your unconscious is highly intelligent in some ways (can process billions of bits of information) but very stupid in others (stores and uses conclusion you came to when you were 5 yrs old and still uses them when you are 55). I have a few early traumas that formed patterns of behaviour that were self destructive and self sabotaging. I tried counselling, but did not make much progress. I was on antidepressants and they just stopped me jumping off a bridge but did not help me make progress with the underlying problem. Eventually, I hit on hypnotherapy. Its not a miracle cure, but I have made more progress using tailored recordings than anything else I tried. I am now medication free and much more successful, but still have a lot of work to do, so I am going back to hypnotherapy. When picking a hypnotherapist they should tell you up front how many sessions it will take and if they are a healer (rather than in it for the money) they should not charge you if you need further sessions for the problems you outlined on day one. I am also going to try something called cocounselling, where a bunch of people are trained in basic cocounselling skills and are then added to the network for any other cocounsellors to contact should they need to for support. Its in April, I will let you know how I get on I also made changes to my life. I dumped people who made me feel bad about myself. Changing the people around you makes it easier to change, coz the old ones will resist your changing. I worked on taking baby steps to improve my confidence and self esteem in every area of my life. I learned to accept myself despite all my 'horrible flaws'. I now think of myself as a person who is trying to be good and working at improving myself. This allows me to accept and forgive myself as I am and realise the future will be better. You may be wondering what my terrible flaws are at this stage. Well, my life experience has taught me to look out for myself and not to trust other people. I am reversing this negative thinking, but I am able to accept the flaws in the mean time without beating myself up for being selfish etc. This is obviously a simplification, but you will have to buy the book for the full story lol

Best of luck