i like her a lot, but i don't know if i'm ready yet

[wanderer]

hey, i haven't been on the site for a while but once again i could use some advice.

 

i'm currently dating a girl at the college i go to, she's a first year (19 years old) and i'm a second year (20 years old). we met through some mutual friends about about two weeks ago. we were attracted to each other before we met each other, so we've been on two dates since we first met. the second date was last night and we had our first kiss - and her first kiss ever, even. she's a great girl and we share a lot of the same interests, everthing seems ok.

 

BUT,

 

i'm still not sure about where i want to go from here. there's more to my situation too: i had been in a serious long distance relationship with a girl from another college for almost two years, and i broke up with her two months ago. the breakup went ok, we're doing no contact and we intend to remain friends in the future.

 

now i really like this new girl, and up until last night before our first kiss i was very interested in persuing something deeper with her, but making sure to go at a slow pace for both our sakes. but after she told me she i was her first kiss ever (and i could tell from the kiss..) i suddenly got spooked. i'm beginning to realize that maybe right now i'm not ready to begin something serious again. in addition, i have started to feel very awkward around this new girl. as piggish as it may sound, i would prefer seeing girls who have a bit more experience with dating and relationships, since i was the first boyfriend of the girl i just broke up with two months ago. in addition to that, and this may sound superficial too, but i'm a very tall guy and this girl is very short, and with her first kiss and having no experience with boys whatsoever, and me being a year ahead of her in age and schooling, i can't help but feel like i'm corrupting her or ruining her innocence, so to speak.

 

so my question is this: what's the best way to handle this? should i tell her soon, or wait and see how things turn out in time? if putting things on pause now is the better choice, how can i tell her without hurting her feelings? i'm worried that she'll get too attached or vice versa. is it superficial of me to want a girl with more experience with relationships?

 

thanks for reading this far, and thanks in advance for any advice.

[honeyspur]

I would suggest being clear that you are not ready and leave it at that.

All the reasons you gave are simply your own preferences, which is fine on it's own, but could possibly sound insensitive to her.

If she asks why - I would simply say it's too soon after your break up.

Every girl understands that.

 

If you really don't want to date HER but still want to date - then just do it.

It's incredibly kind of you to be concerned about her feelings - but casual dating is just that - casual.

You might want to look up tips on the Internet on how to "Give Feedback" properly - this helps me whenever I have to confront someone.

Good luck

[Siriana]

You're not sounding horrible, I see where you're coming from.

If you were really into her and really ready all these things wouldn't bug you.

I guess she likes you a lot so dragging the situation further wouldn't be the best thing.

[wanderer]

thanks for the advice guys.

 

would it be a bad idea to tell her we could possibly resume dating each other in the future after we get to know each other better? or would that be making a reckless promise?

[nilli]

I don't think saying you may resume dating in the future if this doesn't correspond with your current feelings. If she's really hung up on you she may cling to that.

 

Just tell her you've realised you're not ready.

[Siriana]

would it be a bad idea to tell her we could possibly resume dating each other in the future after we get to know each other better? or would that be making a reckless promise?

 

No, don't do that.

You can't make a warrancy that it's gona happen for shure and she woan't be able to recognize you're maybe just being nice.

If she's not experienced enough she might think of that as a promise and than stuck hung up on you for too long.

[ghost69]

if you tell her that, she will be crushed. that flat out says, i don't want to go further at this time. but 19 and hasn't kissed. man, you got your work cut out for you.